It Gets Better
Scorpius had always been a very sensitive child. He was very much unlike his father, save for the fact he was a Slytherin and his last name was Malfoy. Other than that, he really was not like his father whatsoever. His father always had tried to get Scorpius into the things that he himself liked. Quidditch, Quodpot...but Scorpius simply did not like sports. In fact, the things that he did like were not anything his father liked. Scorpius Malfoy liked decorating, making arts and crafts, he didn't really like things that other boys his age liked. His best friend was one of his cousins, a girl, that would randomly dress him up in her clothes, since they were the same age.
Draco walked in on them playing one day and Scorpius was covered in make-up and was wearing his cousin's frilly outfits. He hasn't seen his cousin in awhile. He thought that everything would change when he went to Hogwarts, but it has just gotten worse. He was horrible at Potions, whereas his father had excelled. He loved care of magical creatures. It was one of his favorite classes. He didn't have any friends, really. He was constantly teased for being so effeminate.
The other kids would pick on him, push him around, call him horrible names, like faggot and queer. Scorpius just didn't seem to fit in anywhere. It was when the bullying got so horrible that he first thought about It. It was the day they actually beat him up and threw him into the girl's bathroom with Moaning Myrtle. He was pretty banged up. He didn't know when, but it'd be soon if they didn't stop. It didn't stop, however, and the bullying actually worsened.
His grades, as a result, fell, and his hopes of ever pleasing his father fell with them. He remembers the day he met Albus with such clarity. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Albus Potter was gorgeous. He was a Slytherin, too, but Scorpius had never really talked to him until his fourth year, when the bullying was at its peak. Albus was the one who rescued him from the other classmates.
"How do you like that, huh, faggot?" One boy yelled as he kicked Scorpius in the side.
"He must love it, a boy's touching him!" jeered another.
"Please, God, just let me die." Scorpius thought.
It was then that Albus Potter had intervened.
"Hey, you lot! What are you doing?" he accused, marching right up to them. The boys quickly turned on him, as well.
"Oh, look. Another fag."
Albus had quickly shut their mouths by dueling them. Scorpius, who had been beaten nearly senseless, had missed the whole duel. He hoped Albus gave them what-for. When he opened his eyes again, he was in the Infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was tending to his wounds. God, what was she, like eighty now? Albus was sitting in a chair nearby.
"Hey. You're awake." he said.
Scorpius sat up. "Yeah. I guess. Where...what happened?"
"Don't worry about those boys again. I told the Headmistress. They shouldn't bother you."
Scorpius half-smiled. "Thank you." he said.
"No problem." Al smiled.
Scorpius bit his lip. He wanted to ask, but...
"Go ahead. Ask." Albus said, as if he could read Scorpius' mind.
"Um...was it true...what they said? Are you also...um...?" Scorpius couldn't bring himself to say it. It seemed like such an unclean word to him, and admitting it to someone was hard.
"Gay? Yeah, I am. They have no business treating you that way. It's unforgivable." he said.
"Don't you get teased, too?" Scorpius asked.
Al grimaced. "Sometimes. But...I have a pretty big family. People know not to mess with me too much or else my brother would hex them." Al grinned.
Scorpius smiled. "Wish I had friends like that...hell, I wish I had friends, period."
Al smiled back. "You can borrow my family." he laughed. "And you do have one."
"A friend." Al said.
"What? Who?" Scorpius asked.
Al grinned even wider. "Well, me, of course!"
Scorpius was released from the hospital wing a few days later. He knew that the boys were not going to let up. Even with his new friend in Albus, Scorpius wasn't sure if he could deal with the harassment...the never being good enough...being the one that no one loves...even his father had never outright told him that he loved Scorpius. Scorpius just saw himself as one of his family's biggest disappointments.
"Hey fag!" called a voice.
Scorpius groaned. Why on earth did he think that this would stop? Even if he was friends with Albus Potter...that really didn't change much. The fact was, Scorpius was still going to be bullied and harassed by these stupid kids everyday. Apparently one punishment wasn't enough for them.
That was the second time he thought about It. While they were beating him senseless.
He didn't know why he didn't just act on his instinct. Maybe it was because he finally had a friend...a friend...something he had never had before. Things couldn't be all bad, right? Well...that's what he told himself anyway.
Over the Christmas holidays, Draco tried to bond with his son. Scorpius found this to be not only unwanted, but sort of sardonically amusing. He'd never really cared about Scorpius' interests before, why on earth should he start now?
Draco tried, bless him. He started talking about the latest fashion designs and whatnot, but he really had no idea what he was talking about. His conversations also seemed to revert to Quidditch. In some way, Quidditch became the forefront of their conversations.
"Quite an outfit the Holyhead Harpies are wearing this year, huh, Scorpius?" Draco asked.
"Sure." Scorpius responded tersely.
He didn't really care. It was about Quidditch anyway.
Draco was trying, bless him, he really was...but he seemed unable to connect with Scorpius as he had wanted to.
"Why don't you like Quidditch, son?" his father asked him.
"Dunno." Scorpius responded. "I've just never found it that interesting."
On Christmas, Scorpius decided to come out to his family. It was at dinner when Scorpius decided to make his announcement.
"Um...Mom...Dad...Grandmother...Grandfather..." Narcissa and Lucius decided to spend Christmas with them this year. Perfect.
"Yes, dear?" Astoria asked.
"Um...well...I have something I'd like to say..." he began.
"Go on, dear..." Narcissa encouraged.
"I'm..." Scorpius swallowed. It shouldn't be this hard to say.
'Okay' he thought. 'I've just got to grit my teeth and do it.
"I'm...I'm gay." Scorpius said.
Draco dropped his fork, and Astoria looked shocked.
Narcissa and Lucius left immediately after that. They said they'd not be back anytime soon.
Draco never said a word. He just excused himself from the table and went upstairs to his room. He didn't look Scorpius in the eye for the rest of Christmas vacation. His mother was no better. She just didn't communicate at all with him and stayed mainly to herself. They didn't support him, but they didn't condemn him either. This, for Scorpius, was worse. Much worse.
The was the third time Scorpius considered It. And this time he came close. He started to cut with a knife that he had stolen from the Great Hall. At first, it was only a little bit to help ease the pain. He felt that physical pain actually helped him forget his emotional pain. It was easier to deal with on the outside than on the inside. Every day seemed like a struggle to get through.
He hadn't talked to Albus in awhile. His new friend had been trying to get in contact with him, but Scorpius stayed at a distance. He was starting to notice things about the Potter boy that he didn't like. Or, rather, he did like. He liked it very much. That was the problem.
He felt lost...hopeless...His father hated him, his mother probably thought he was a freak, his classmates still harassed and beat him up on a daily basis...he would never be good enough...no one loved him...
It was at that moment, lying in bed in the Slytherin dormitories, that he decided to do it.
Tomorrow, he decided. I'll say my goodbyes. Not that anyone would care.
Tomorrow came, and with it, Scorpius felt more depressed than he had ever felt in his entire life. He wrote his final letter, a goodbye to everyone, in his bedside drawer. He'd come back for it later tonight.
He went to his classes, to keep up appearances. He wrote a separate goodbye to Albus, his personal savior. Scorpius knew that he would not ever have a friend as good as Al was.
Albus had noticed something was up with the youngest Malfoy for quite some time. He decided to approach him about it after class. Scorpius didn't seem to want to say anything to him, though, as he might lose his nerve after looking into Albus' green eyes.
It was 11:00 P.M. Everyone was asleep. Scorpius pulled out his letter and walked into the Prefects' bathroom.
"Oh..." Myrtle said. "What are you doing down here?"
"...I'm...leaving." Scorpius said. He opened his note and placed it on a sink for them to find later. Myrtle glanced over it and smirked wryly.
"Well...someone has an awful life, don't they?" she droned.
"Shut up." he spat at her.
"Well...you're welcome to share my toilet..."
After shooting Myrtle a look that could kill the dead, she decided to leave him alone.
"Death...death...death..." Myrtle sang, floating around the bathroom, and then out of sight.
Scorpius grabbed his wand he had brought with him to the bathroom and took a deep breath. He knew that the end was coming...He just had to do it. Scorpius pointed his wand at himself and muttered. "Sectumsempra."
Blood started to spurt from Scorpius' face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backward and collapsed onto the floor with a thud, his wand falling from his limp hand.
"Scorpius!" A voice shouted. The voice sounded like it was the one that was in pure agony.
Scorpius froze. He would know that voice anywhere. It was Al.
"Al..." he choked back.
"Wh-What're you doing?" he cried, dashing forward to wrap the boy up, trying to prevent anymore bleeding.
"Al..." Scorpius sobbed. "I can't take it. I just can't...I'm not strong enough. I'm not like you..."
Scorpius collapsed onto Albus and cried. Al then noticed how badly he had hurt him self. His body was covered in gashes, but not so much so that he couldn't be saved.
"Scorpius! W-What spell did you use?!?!" Al cried.
"Se-Sectum...sem...p..pra..." he barely managed to choke out.
"Come on, Scorp. Let's get you to Pomfrey." Al said.
"No...no...I want to die..." Scorpius muttered
"You don't know what you're saying..." Al muttered, trying his best to get the boy to follow him to the infirmary.
"I do...I'm unloved...useless...The world would probably even be better off without me..."
"Scorp, don't say that! That's not true! Yes...things seem bad, yes they seem hopeless. But I promise you...Whatever it is you're thinking...Whatever it is you're feeling...It's not worth it. Understand? Life gets better. This will pass. I promise you, it gets better!"
"Scorpius?" Al asked.
"I still want to die..." he cried.
"No one cares...no one loves me..." he barely choked out.
Al shook his head in protest, tears in his eyes. "That's not true at all. I do. I love you. Don't you dare die on me!" his sobs echoed through the bathroom.
"Take me to Pomfrey, Al. Please." He cried.
Al tried to do just that, but by this point, Scorpius had lost too much blood and he couldn't be moved by just Al. He needed Madam Pomfrey. Not wanting to leave his side, Al conjured up a Patronus that went straight to Madam Pomfrey. Pomfrey was able to fix him up quite well, and Albus dared not leave his side for anything.
Scorpius opened his eyes the next morning.
Al wasted no time.
"Thank Merlin! You scared the shit out of me! Don't you ever do that again, do you hear me?"
Scorpius nodded and looked at Al. "I won't. I promise."
Al nodded once to show he had heard.
Not even for a moment did Al want to leave Scorpius and fell asleep at his bedside. And it was right then as Scorpius watched Al's sleeping form that he realized.
"Maybe it will get better."
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