Panic! At the ER
I decided to take Tom's advice in order to avoid any further problems with him that might have the indecency to pop up.
I walked home. The way was about 5 miles and I thought what harm can come off a bit of fresh air. I took a short cut by the river and listened to the water trickling down the little veins on the river banks. After having sucked up some of its tranquility, I made my way upstream in order to get to my flat.
When I finally got there, I closed the door behind me and slid down to its foot. I rested there for a moment, deeply hoping, that Tom wouldn't come over and check on me during his lunch break. I had about 30 minutes until I would hear a knock on the door.
I suddenly remembered something, a fragment of last night. I had…No. It couldn't be! I had kissed Fletch?! I shuddered. What had I done! He was married and had children. What had I been thinking? A wave of panic hit me and I jolted forward to the cabinet where we kept our pharmaceuticals. I rummaged in it until I found some drugs that would counteract the adrenaline. In a scared frenzy I blindly took a handful, not looking at the label and let the tranquility of the chemicals lull me into the darkness of my dreams.
I awoke in hospital, Tom's shadow looming over me like a hawk, circling over its prey. Tom saw me stirring and looked at me."Sam?" he asked carefully
"Yes?" I croaked.
"Ok she's conscious." He sighed relieved. "Sam. We know you took some of these pills...We need to know how many you took?" he thrust the bottle of drugs into my face.
I didn't answer.
I uttered not a word.
"Sam this is important!" he gave me a warning look.
I turned from him. He wouldn't understand. I had betrayed him, and Fletch's wife.
"Right, do you want to do it the hard way then? We can't treat you until you tell us…so I will wait you out." He sat down on the side of the bed.
After a few hours had come and gone, Fletch popped in to see where Tom was and I turned, feeling terrible.
"Ah Tom, I need you for a second." He looked at me worriedly. "What happened to Sam?"
"She fell over, no matter." Tom brushed away his question and took the clipboard from Fletch's hand.
"Zoe has asked me to get you. We have a peds case in resus." He hesitated and his eyes flickered over to me.
Tom gave him a hard look and said
"She's fine Fletch. I'll come over in a few. Let me just finish up here." He dismissed Fletch and turned back to me.
Fletch left, closing the mint-green curtain behind him.
"Right, Sam. I need to go. Anything you would like to tell me?" he looked square into my eyes.
I looked to the ground and exhaled. Tom sighed and was about to leave when I muttered
He turned abruptly and came back to my bedside.
"What was that?"
"I said I took about 5. I didn't look at the label; I was worried about other things."
"Sam! You are only allowed to take one at a time. You can't even take more than 3 a day, let alone 5 at a time!" he ran a hand through his hair and it stuck out awkwardly. "How could you be so reckless?" he muttered under his breath. He sighed.
"Sam..." he hesitated "Did you try to take your own life?" he paused to see my reaction.
"No! Of course not!" I made sure that my tone could not be mistaken for sarcasm. "I had a panic attack, I took the pills." I explained.
He looked at me for a long minute and then broke the silence.
"So i can trust you?"
"Yes! Of course you can, Tom." I said. He nodded and was about to leave but not before telling me what he was going to do.
"I'll put Dylan on the peds case. We'll talk about the panic attack later in more detail." I opened my mouth to protest but he opened the curtain and saw Linda passing.
"Linda! I need you to find out the soonest we can pump Sam's stomach, quick as you can please." He said with urgency in his voice.
"Of course, Tom." She smiled at him encouragingly as her scouse accent embroidered her words and I wondered if they were secretly having an affair. I suddenly hoped they were; that would make my actions almost alright. But not for Fletch…
I couldn't take my mind off what I had done. I still couldn't believe that I could be so reckless.
I came back to find Sam's bed empty. I glanced around. She had probably just gone to the bathroom hadn't she? She was unpredictable though. She might be anywhere. She could be somewhere in danger. Alone. Deluded. Poisoned.