All My Lights Go Low
Ok here you go, fangirls. (Can I call you that?) it's a pretty cute chapter(...I just wanna cuddle with somebody!...) thanks for the awesome reviews, guys! You have no idea how much that means to me! You are such amazing readers, I'm really honoured that you all enjoy my story. I love you ALL! (even the critics ;) ) ❤️
Her sanity was cracked, her happiness broken and her heart was strewn around her in little pieces. All that remained was her soul, torturing her with every last memory she had of Natasha. I picked her up. Carried her into the staff bed rooms, sitting her down in the chair. The tears on her cold cheeks were like rain on a windowpane; plentiful, painful. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back reassuringly and whispering"Shhh...hey, hey. Everything's going to alright." into her hair."I...have...to...see her." She choked and I patted her back, pulling her close."Ok, but let's do that later, you don't look ready for it now.""No. I want to...see her...now!" She demanded between breaths."Alright, alright. Shhh." I wiped the tears away carefully with my thumbs after which she roughly used the back of her hands to do so.My hand still at her back I helped her up. She stood, knees weak and we walked.Along white corridors, down into the basement. The only occupied room.Black sign, white letters.
Sam shuddered at the sight, whimpering as if only now truly realising that death had in fact snatched her mother.I pushed open the door for her and she hesitated, but followed."Are you sure you're ready?" The answer was a hectic nod.A technician was stood by the freezers, autopsy report in hand."Excuse me." He looked up."We're here to see Natasha Nicholls."He nodded purse lipped and showed us around the corner."I haven't done the autopsy just yet."There she lay. A white sheet covering her body.The technician turned the sheet up to reveal her face."Mum!" Sam cried and ran over to stroke her lifeless cheek and caress her hair."Mum, wake up! Mum!""Sam." I grabbed her waist but she fought me off."Mum!""SAM! She's dead!" I wrapped my arm around her stomach, pulling her to me."No! No! No..." She sobbed."She can't be dead! She just can't." Her breathing quickened and I seized the right moment, pulling her into my arms so she wouldn't do any more damage to herself. She stopped fighting and cried into my chest."I think it's time we left." I whispered and she nodded.I led her out, up and out. We got into the car and drove back to her house. She opened the door and walked in hesitantly.Never had I seen her so troubled.I closed the door behind me.She was turned from me, still spluttering tears and gasping for breath. I needed to comfort her. I just had to. I came up from behind, grabbing her, turning her to me.I held her for a very long time."Let go!" She gasped after a minute or so."No.""...what?...""Not until your breathing returns to normal. I'm not having you faint again." I carried her into her bedroom and placed her into her bed. Onto the burgundy duvet.She crawled under them, wetting the sheets with her tears. Leaving tiny pools of water to soak into her pillow. I lay down with her and she turned from me. I pulled her close. We were like little spoons, every part of my front was covering, no, shielding her back. My back was flexed, protecting her. My strong arms around her fragile devastated form. And I held her. We lay there for hours. I listened for her breathing but the desperate gasps for air still dominated her lungs."Shhhh...everything's going to be alright. Just breathe. Breeeeathe.""No!...E-everything's not...going to...be al...right." Defiantly she tried to break loose from my grip.No chance.My arms tightened.Like a trapped bird she tried to flee."Let...me go!""No. I told you, I won't let you go until you calm down."She tried kicking me.Unsuccessful.She tried elbowing me. I caught her arms and took both wrists in one hand."Shhh. Just breathe. For me. Please." I nuzzled her hair and my hand caressed her now hot cheek.But finally she breathed. One shaky breath after another, calming down. It wasn't easy but it was working.I would have to speak to Sam after this episode was over. Panic attacks like these were dangerous; she got so impulsive."That's it. Good. Just breathe nice and slowly." I smiled into the side of her neck and kissed her.She turned her head, breathless but beautiful."We'll get through this, I promise." I kissed the top of her head and she turned around. I had to loosen my still tight grip but she managed on her own, pressing her cheek into my chest."It's alright now." I squeezed her tight and then let go, falling on my back. She rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes. In a second her slow, regular breathing told me she was asleep. I brushed away the residue of her tears on her cheeks and held her close...