Welcome To The Black Parade
Sorry this is two days late. It's the 1 year anniversary of this story! Yay! :D thank you to ALL my supporters and reviewers! I couldnt have done it without you. So much love, guys! ❤️ So so much love!
I squeezed into the black blazer, trying to think of something other than the occasion I was wearing it to. I was wearing a black dress, reaching down to my knees. A gold necklace, teardrop earrings. My eyes were rimmed with the darkness of the past week. My body was thin, disproportional. I studied myself with my sorrowful expression and stance. I looked a mess. My hair was tangled and I couldn't run a brush through it. I couldn't make myself look alive in this get-up.My mirror me stared back at me, pitying me."Jesus..." I sighed, tugging at my hair, frantically trying to make it look normal. It stung and seared but it was the first time I had felt something in days. I was so desperate to feel. I pulled, ripping out hair a few strands at a time. I could feel the pain rising in my head, stinging my eyes. I gave in. The tears started rushing down while I continued to feel the unrepressed pain of loss.And then I saw Tom. He was in the doorway, eyebrows twisted in sympathy. He approached me and gauged my disposition, fearing the reality of what I was feeling. Taking my hands, he opened them, taking in the tufts of hair violently torn from my head."Oh, Sam." Worried eyes looked into my soul. He removed the hair and took my hand, leading me to the kitchen. There was ice in the freezer to nurse my head, he took it, wrapping it in a towel and holding it against the affected areas.The pain increased and I winced, pulling away."Shhhhhhhhhh." He gently applied the ice to back of my head, above my occipital lobe."It's going to feel better in a second." He reassured me.I heard the blood rushing in my head and the pain slowly decrease. He was right, the pain was soon taken by the regular pulse in my head.He held me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and kissing my forehead.He was already dressed. A black suit and a grey tie, neatly set hair, grim expression. The lot. I had decided not to wear my two military medals due to the fact that the army was what had separated me and my mother.I remained in his arms for a few more minutes, experiencing something other than pain; warmth."Hun, we should go. We're going to be late." He nuzzled my cheek and turned me around."This is it." I whispered."Shhh...I'll be right there next to you. Don't you worry." His eyes were soothing.I sighed in reply, hoping he was right.
It was the day of the funeral of Natasha Eliza Nicholls. The brave and broken. The kind and cursed. She, my mother.
It was a blur of black clothes, rain, speeches, handfuls of dirt and tears. Condolences were given. Glasses of wine numbed our anguish. Flowers eased our suffering but left my guilt.Vexed by the pain and sorrow outside and in, I sat down by the fireplace of the venue. The sky was darkening and the day was coming to an end. The worst was over.I felt a hand glide over my shoulder and soft lips close to my ear."You were so brave today. It's a mystery to me how you maintained your veneer.""Talent." I smiled weakly and he embraced me, smiling into my hair."Let's get you home. I know you want to forget."I nodded."One sec." I beckoned and his eyebrows furrowed. All the relatives had already left. The room was bare and lifeless. I exited, walking over to the entrance of the graveyard. I approached my mother's new grave. Fresh brown dirt was piled on top. I attempted not to imagine my mother in 6 feet of earth in a pine box, thankfully succeeding. I wanted to say goodbye one last time. Tom came up next to me, taking my mind off it quickly. In his hand was a single pink English rose. He held it out to me and I took it, placing it next to the gravestone."Rest well, mum. You deserve it." I felt tears prick in my eyes but they did not make an appearance. I accepted that she was dead. I just couldn't accept yet, that she was gone."Come on, darling." He took my hand "Let's go home.".I replied with a nod and a relieved sigh. Thank God.It was over.Dead and buried...