Strangers Like Me
"Umm…thanks." Emma replied as she walked in and took a look around.
"If you want, I could get you a bed of your own tomorrow, but for tonight you'll have to make due on the couch." Chii explained, pointing towards the couch.
Emma smiled faintly. "Oh you don't have to get me a bed; the couch will do just fine."
Chii shook her head at the notion. "No way, from now you're living here, and as such it's only appropriate that you have your own bed."
"I guess, if you insist. But I promise I'll pay you back for it once I get a job."
"That won't be necessary, but thanks anyways." Chii smiled. Just then Emma's stomach growled.
Chii laughed as Emma blushed faintly. "I take it you're hungry?" Chii inquired.
"Yeah, it would appear so." Emma joked.
"Alright, I'll make dinner while you unpack. Feel free to put all the clothes you have in my closet, there's plenty of room." Chii told Emma, before walking to the kitchen.
Some time later…
"I hope you like soba noodles and miso soup." Chii said in a sing-song voice, upon setting the table.
Emma looked up her in confusion. "I wouldn't know, I've never tried them."
"Huh?" Chii looked at Emma in bewilderment. "How can you not have had them before, didn't your parents cook for you?"
"Uh yeah, they did." Emma stated flatly. "But not Japanese. Usually we ate American dishes."
"What dishes?" Chii inquired.
"American, you know, as in from the United States of America." Emma retorted, slightly shocked at Chii for not knowing what 'American' meant.
Chii looked at Emma in bafflement. "Boy," she said, "you must've REALY hurt your head in that crash, huh?"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Emma responded defensively.
"Oh, I didn't mean it how it sounded!" Chii said, waving her hands in front of herself. "I didn't mean to imply that you were stupid or anything like that. I just, well…I've never heard of a place called the United States before and-"
"You've never heard of the US before?" Emma asked dumbfounded.
"Uh…no." Chii replied hesitantly. "Why, should I have?"
"Uh yeah, I would think so. I mean America is the richest country in the world, so I doubt that there's many people who haven't heard of it." answered Emma.
"Well, I guess I'm one of those few." Replied Chii, still stunned.
"Apparently." Emma joked mockingly.
Just then Chii remembered about their dinner and how it was starting to get cold while they were talking. "In any case, let's eat." She said. "You can tell me about this America place after we've had a proper meal."
Emma nodded. "Sounds like a plan." Emma must've spent the whole night telling Chii about America, because the next thing she knew, it was two o'clock in the mourning!
"Wow, look at the time!" Chii exclaimed. "I didn't think it was so late, we best get to bed."
"Heh-heh, yeah." Emma chuckled, "I guess I got a little carried away, huh?"
Chii nodded, "A little, but I enjoyed hearing every moment of it! You certainly come from an interesting place, Emma!"
Emma yawned, "Yeah, I guess I do. But this place, Konoha, it's pretty cool too. You think maybe you could give me a tour tomorrow, Chii?"
Chii nodded as she stretched. "Yeah, but for now let's get some shut-eye. Good night, Emma."
"Good night, Chii."
The next day Emma awoke to the sounds of people talking in Chii's kitchen. "And then she started talking about television and something called a PS2." came a female voice, Emma assumed was Chii's.
"Wow, you're right, she does sound strange." came a man's voice.
'Great, it's not even my first day here and already people are talking about me!' Emma thought as she made her way across the living room to take a shower. 'Oh well, I guess I should be use to people thinking I'm a freak by now.' Emma shrugged as she stepped into the bathroom.
After about fifteen-twenty minutes of showering, Emma got out and wrapped both herself (body) and her hair in towels, intending to go into Chii's room to get a change of clothes. 'I'd better knock first.' She thought. 'I don't wanna take the chance of walking in on Chii while she's dressing.'
"Hey Chii, is it all right to come in?" Emma asked. No answer. 'Huh, that's strange.' "Uh Chii, you in there?" Emma asked, knocking on the door again.
"She's not h-" came a guy's (Gai) voice from behind Emma.
Emma turned around, shocked and frightened. "What the-?" she gasped, grasping the towel tightly to her body. "ACK!" Emma screamed as she quickly ran past the man (still Gai) and into the kitchen, grabbing a pot and taking a defensive position.
Gai followed her into the kitchen, shock and embarrassment spread across his face. "It's okay I'm-" he started.
"You stay right there, or I swear to God, I'll fuck'n kick your ass!" Emma screamed, raising the pan into the air, ready to strike.
Gai held up his hands in a defensive position as he slowly approached Emma. "Don't worry I'm not going to-" WHACK! Before Gai knew it, Emma had had bitch-smacked him across the face. Then, promptly dropping said pan, ran out the apartment door yelling for help.
"Help somebody, HELP!" Emma screamed before turning the corner towards the steps. Unfortunately for her, Emma's turn was a bit too sharp which caused her trip and fall down a flight of stairs. Landing with an "OOF!" and a THUD!The last thing Emma saw before passing out was the strange man as he came bounding the stairs towards her.
The next thing Emma saw were the white ceiling tiles of her hospital room. 'Ugh. Where the hell am I?' she thought as she perched herself (or rather the top half of her body, from the waist up) up in her bed. Boy, did she have a splitting head ache! "Ouch!" Emma cried as she felt the top of her head. "God, that hurt! I wonder what I'm doing here?" Taking in her surroundings, Emma began to look around the room. "A hospital? How did I end up in a-?"
"Ah, so you're up, I see." said a rather well endowed nurse as she came walking into the room towards Emma.
"Uhh…how did I get here?" Emma asked as the nurse began looking in her ear.
"Well dear, that kind Mr. Gai brought you in after you fell down the stairs." the nurse explained, smiling as she got a stethoscope out of her pocket.
"What do you mean, 'after I fell down the stairs'? What happened?" Emma asked in bewilderment.
Marking down something on her chart, the nurse smiled up at Emma. "Say 'Ah'." she ordered. Emma sighed heavily before complying with the nurse's wishes.
"Good, good." the nurse commented. "It seems all you have is a rather large lump on your head. Other then that, you're perfectly fine." she smiled.
"Great." Emma mumbled. "But you still haven't answered my question."
"Well, from what Mr. Gai has told me, it seems he was told by your roommate Chii to look after you as she went on a sudden mission for the Hokage." The nurse smiled as she explained the circumstances.
Emma blinked in confusion. "Chii left?" The nurse nodded. "So then that guy, he wasn't some sort of burglar?"
The nurse giggled, "Heavens no!"
Emma blushed, embarrassed at her own stupidity and quick assumptions. "Heh-heh, oops!" she said, guilt plastered across her face.
"Oops indeed." replied the nurse. "Here, I believe that this will answer everything." the nurse said as she handed Emma a folded-up piece of paper before leaving. Unfolding the paper, Emma realized that it was a note. It read:
Something came up and I had to leave. I left you some money on the kitchen counter, so that you can buy more clothes for yourself. I have no idea when I'll be back, so feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen.
Which reminds me, I meant to go grocery shopping today, but I guess now I can't. Would you be kind enough to do that for me while you're out? I left the list next to the money. Also, I asked my friend Gai to help you out today. I thought it was best, seeing as I won't be able to show you around myself. I just know you two will get along great!
One more thing. I talked to a friend of mine, Taku, who owns a bar, Genki, he said he'd be willing to give you a job as a waitress, if you like. I figured that way you'll have something to do while I'm gone, and you'll get the chance to make some new friends and money while you're at it!
Have a nice day-
Just then there came a loud knock at the door, scaring Emma half to death and sending her flying six feet in the air. Looking up, Emma noticed the guy from the apartment standing in the door way.
"Uh, hi." He said, obviously nervous. "It's me again."
Emma smiled sheepishly, "Umm…come in?"
Gai nodded happily as he sat down in the chair next to Emma's bed.
"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. See-" Emma began.
"Not to worry, my youth saved me from any mortal injuries…As for you, young lady," he walks over and grabs her hand, "Would a youthful, young goddess like you do me the pleasure of telling me your name?" He struck a dramatic and exaggerated pose and grinned broadly, flashing pearly white teeth at her. (Thanks toKinKitsune01 for this paragraph.)
Emma looked at Gai with a shocked expression across her face. 'Me, beautiful? A-heh, a-heh.' Okay, not only was this guy strange, but he had an impaired sense of what beauty was. At least to Emma he did. After all, nobody had ever called her beautiful before! Freak, bitch, pervert (in reference to her sense of humor), etc.-but never beautiful! If anything they said the exact opposite. Of coarse Emma's friends and family said she was pretty, but then they were suppose to. It was all her peers from school, when she was in school, that repeatedly informed her how ugly and undesirable she was.
"I'm not a goddess, and the name is Emma." she stated, a tad bit agitated. "And you would be…?"
"Oh yes, how rude of me! My name is Maito Gai, 'Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey', and your loyal servant, God-I mean, Emma!" Gai replied, practically bellowing. Emma double-blinked in sheer bewilderment. Was this guy for real? Surly all this had to be an act! What other possible reason was there? After all, guys don't normally go around calling her 'Goddess' and proclaiming to be her servant. It had to be a joke!
"You're my servant?" Emma questioned, seeing if she heard right.
Gai nodded happily. "Of course! Chii-chan asked me to check up on you before she left today. She said she was being sent on an S-Class mission, and might not be back for a few days. So she wanted me to look after you in her absence." Yeah, that's what Chii's note had said. But what about-?
"What's with all this 'Goddess' talk then?" Emma asked, wondering why he'd referred to her as that in the first place.
A shocked look on his face, Gai replied exasperatedly: "One with such beauty as yourself cannot possibly be a mere mortal, therefore you must certainly be a goddess or another such heavenly creature."
"I'm not all that beautiful."
"Nonsense! You are the most beautiful creature I have seen! Therefore I must humbly request that you allow me the honor of escorting you to lunch!" Gai insisted as he took both of Emma's hands in his own.
Emma yanked her hands from his grasp before she replied. "Uh, well…I am hungry." BIG MISTAKE! After being checked-out of the hospital by a doctor, Gai insisted on showing Emma around Konoha and treating her to all the local 'hot spots'. All during which he insisted upon introducing her to all of the town's folk and showing her off like some prized trophy he'd won. It had been four and a half hours by now, and Emma's feet were killing her.
"Uh Gai, you think we could stop? I'm getting kinda tired and-"
"Oh, of coarse! How foolish me not to notice! Here, have a seat!" Gai replied, picking Emma up bridal style and setting her on a nearby bench.
Emma sweat-dropped. "Umm…thanks?"
"It was my pleasure!" Gai smiled, setting himself awfully close to Emma. This was Gai's chance! He'd spent the whole afternoon getting to know Emma, and now he was going to ask her out on an official date! Pretending to stretch, Gai slipped his right arm around Emma's back, causing her tense-up immediately.
Uhh…what was he doing? Talk about a little to close for comfort! First he sits so close that he's practically on top of her, now he's trying to…trying to…Well, Emma didn't really know what Gai was trying to do, but it wasn't something she was comfortable with, she knew that! "Uh…Gai, I kinda have to meet this guy at a bar and-" Emma tried to explain, but was soon cut short.
"YOU'RE MEETING A GUY AT A BAR!" Gai cried, heartbroken. "WHO? WHERE!"
"Uh well, Chii told me that this guy Taku would let me-"
"CHII HOOKED YOU UP WITH TAKU? WHY WOULD SHE DO SUCH A THING? UNLESS, UNLESS TAKU INSISTED ON HAVING FOR HIMSELF SO THAT HE MAY-"
"Uhh...no. See I was supposed to go shopping and-"
"YOU WANTED TAKU TO TAKE YOU SHOPPING? WHAT FOR?"
Getting quite agitated, Emma tried to explain as best she could. "I wasn't supposed to go shopping with Taku, I was supposed to meet him at his bar after I-"
"AFTER YOU FINISHED YOUR SHOPPING?" Gai asked.
"Uh, yeah. See Chii wrote this list and-"
"CHII LEFT YOU A LIST FOR TAKU?"
"NO, she left the list for ME, so I could go shopping for-"
"SHE SENT YOU SHOPPING FOR TAKU? WHY WOULD TAKU NEED YOU TO DO HIS SHOPPING? HE USUALLY JUST HAS ONE OF HIS WORKERS GET HIS GROCERIES FOR HIM. UNLESS…UNLESS YOU WEREN'T SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES BUT WERE INSTEAD SHOPPING FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT! SHOPPING FOR THINGS LIKE NAUGHTY PANTIES, OR HENTAI, OR-"
God, this guy was starting to piss Emma off royally! "For your information Taku offered me a job at his bar!" she screamed at the 'Green Beast', interrupting his rant.
"SO THE PANTIES WERE FOR YOU TO WEAR AT THE BAR WHILE YOU-?"
"NO! There were NO panties! Furthermore, I was supposed to go shopping for GROCERIES and couldn't because you insisted on lugging me all around the stupid village so you could show me off like some type of trophy wife!"
"WIFE?" Gai bellowed. Maybe his chance with Emma wasn't as far-gone as he thought? "You mean to marry me! Oh, this is so unexpected! But then again, my youthful ways have always been irresistible to the ladies, so why wouldn't you want to marry me? Of coarse I will, I'll be happy to marry-"
"I don't want to marry you, you Jackass! All I want is to get the goddamned groceries and talk to Taku about that fuck'n job he offered me! Is that too much to ask?" Emma 'bitched' at him, a visible vein pulsating on her forehead.
By now their 'little conversation' had attracted the attention of everyone within ear-shot, including a certain masked Jounin, who was on his way home from a long day of training his students. "What seems to be the matter here?" Kakashi asked, placing his hand on Emma's shoulder.
"Kakashi, my eternal rival, I should've known you had something to do with Em-chan's sudden burst in anger!" Gai shouted. Now everything made sense! It was Kakashi who had angered the girl! Gai was sure to make him pay for that!
Kakashi looked at Gai, clueless as to the accusations he was making. "Who, me?"
That was it! Not only was this stupid fucker treating Emma like some type of prized show-dog, but now he was misplacing her rage on an innocent man! "For Christ sake, you stupid fuck!" she hissed. "HE is NOT what's pissing me off, what's pissing me off is YOU!"
Gai looked at Emma, half heart-broken, half confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"UGH! Weren't you listening to thing I said?" Emma screamed as she lunged for Gai, only to be pulled into Kakashi's firm grasp.
"Let me go, I'm gunna knock some sense into that thick, insinuating fucker!" she growled, trying unsuccessfully to break out of the grasp Kakashi held around her waist.
"Might I suggest, Gai, that you leave right now and let me take care of Miss Solinger?" Kakashi suggested. "Apparently you're not one of her favorite people right now, and I might be able to calm her down if you were to leave."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you Kakashi?" Gai shouted. "You want me to leave so that you can take Em-chan back to your place and have your way with her, isn't that right? Well I won't let a pervert like you disgrace such a youthful beauty! Unhand her and I shall teach you the errors of your immoral ways!"
By now Emma's rage had gone through the roof and she was set to kill! She was certain that if Kakashi hadn't had her pinned so tightly against his chest at the moment, she would instead be ripping out Gai's vocal cords right now. Just then one of the local shopkeepers, who'd been watching this spectacle with great interest, approached Gai.
"It would seem that Mr. Kakashi has no intention on hurting the girl in any way, Mr. Gai. However, it would also seem that the young miss doesn't wish to see you right now. I suggest that you do as Mr. Kakashi says, and leave at once." Agreeing with the man, the rest of the crowd began chanting and yelling at Gai to go away as well.
"Yeah, beat it!"
"Leave the poor girl alone, she doesn't want you!"
Reluctantly, Gai sighed in defeat and began walking off quite melancholy. "You have won this round, Kakashi!" he cried before fading into the horizon.
Still trying, yet not succeeding, in escaping from the Jounin's grasp, Emma demanded that she be let go. "No, I don't think I will." Kakashi smiled, turning Emma around and lifting her up so that he was carrying her over his shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing with me? Put me down, NOW!" Emma demanded as she pounded on Kakashi's back.
"Nope." he replied. "You're still too angry right now. Maybe if I take you back with me we can have a talk about how Gai managed to get on your bad side?"
After about five minutes of hitting Kakashi's back and demanding for her release, Emma had tired herself out and simply gave up her struggle. Ten minutes later and Emma found she had been carried all the back to the building in which she shared Chii's apartment in. "How do you know where I live?" she asked him.
Kakashi smiled slightly. "Because," he said in a cheeky voice, "I live down the hall." He did? Well, that was something new!
"Oh, okay. Then, umm…whose apartment are we going to?" Emma asked.
"Chii gave you an extra key, didn't she?" Kakashi asked.
"No shit, you think? I mean I'm only living with her now, why would she give me a key?" Emma replied, rather sarcastically.
Kakashi chuckled slightly at her response as he walked into the building and up the stairs. "May I have the key then?" he asked, stopping in front of Chii's door.
Emma furrowed her brow. "Why?"
"So I can open the door and take you in." he replied, in a 'matter of fact' tone.
"Oh, right." Emma blushed at the realization. "Well, it would help if you put me down., you know, so I can look?"
"Right." Kakashi smiled as her set her feet down on the floor.
"Thanks." Emma said as she reached into her pocket for the key, only to find that it wasn't in there. 'Oh yeah,' she thought, 'I was so busy running from Gai this mourning that I forgot to get the key! Oops!' Well, at least she wasn't in her towel anymore, she was grateful for that! Good thing the one nurse at the hospital was about the same size as Emma, otherwise she'd still be wearing the hospital gown they gave her! Unfortunately, that still didn't help with her current situation.
"I umm…I don't have it." Emma blushed.
Kakashi looked at her, confused. "What do you mean, you don't have it?"
"I mean, I don't have it!" Emma replied.
"How can you not have it? Didn't you take it with you when you left this morning?" Kakashi inquired.
"No, actually I didn't. I was a little too busy running away from Gai, who I thought was a burglar, to actually grab the key." Emma explained, blushing slightly.
Kakashi chuckled. "You thought Gai was a burglar?"
Emma blushed harder. "Well what would you think if a strange guy came up behind you when you were in nothing but a towel and-"
"What were you doing in a towel?" Kakashi asked, amused and yet intrigued.
"I just got out of the shower, jeez!" Emma growled. What was it with men making sexual accusations about her today? First Gai had all but implied that she was going to be some type of hooker/stripper for Taku, now Kakashi seemed to be joining in on falsely accusing her! 'MEN, JEEZE!'
"I guess I'll have to take you to my place then." Kakashi stated, breaking Emma from her train of thought.
"Uh…that's okay." Emma responded, hesitant on spending the night in a strange man's apartment. "I'll just go and see the Hokage about my car and-"
Kakashi shook his head, obviously not accepting her proposal. "The Hokage already said that your car was no suitable place for you. So for the time being, at least for tonight that is, you'll be rooming with me." That said, Kakashi took a firm grip on Emma's wrist, and walked her over to his door. Then, unlocking the door, he opened it, motioning for Emma to enter.
Emma shook her head in defiance. "No, I couldn't. I mean how would it look if I-?"
"Don't worry," Kakashi smiled, "people may talk at first, but it isn't as if we'll be making any 'strange' noises."
"Okay…THAT was disgusting!" Emma replied, lips curled in disgust. "Anywho, I don't care what you say, it's gonna take a whole lot more then you and your slick moves to get me in there." Emma stated, fully intending to sleep outside if need be.
Kakashi smirked, "Suit yourself." And with that, he promptly picked Emma up in his arms and carried her into his apartment, closing the door behind him.
"Let go of me, now!" Emma demanded as Kakashi strode over to the couch, still holding her tightly in his arms.
"Okay." Kakashi smiled, dropping Emma on top the couch.
Falling onto the couch, Emma felt herself land on a hard object. Reaching under herself, she pulled out a bottle of hand cream. "Oh, NASTY!" she screamed, dropping the bottle immediately in disgust and watching as it landed next to a stack of pornos on the floor. Then realizing the full implications of what she'd found, Emma jumped off the couch. 'Note to self, don't touch ANYTHING!'
Kakashi laughed nervously in slight shock at the current situation. He'd forgotten about leaving that bottle, and his 'adult graphic novels', there. It was kinda embarrassing to say the least. "Uh...heh-heh, sorry about that." Kakashi apologized, rubbing the back of his head.
Emma looked up at him, still fully disgusted. "Yeah well, I guess this just goes to prove my point. So if you don't mind…" she explained, making a bee-line towards the door.
"Uh-uh, I don't think so!" Kakashi chimed, grabbing Emma tightly around the waist and pulling her back closely to his chest.
Blushing madly at the position she was in, Emma grimaced slightly. "Well if you insist, I guess I have no choice but to sing."
Kakashi looked down at her, "Sing?"
Then, jabbing Kakashi in the stomach, Emma chanted "Solarplex…"
"Oof!" Kakashi gasped.
Stepping on his foot, she continued, "…Instep…"
Kakashi grimaced in pain. "Ouch!"
Then, back-fisting his nose, Emma chanted "…Nose…"
Ow, that hurt! So much so, that Kakashi loosed his grip on Emma. Emma, seeing her opening, then topped it off. Turning around to face Kakashi, she smirked before kneeing him where it counts. "…Groin!"
Bent over in pain, Kakashi wondered why he hadn't seen all of Emma's moves coming. He was one of the most skilled Jounins in the entire world, Sharingan Kakashi. Why then, hadn't he been able to stop her, a non-ninja? Seeing her chance to leave, Emma once again leapt at the chance, starting for the door.
"Oh no you don't!" Kakashi grimaced, grabbing at Emma's ankles and pulling her down.
"Ack!" Emma screamed as she fell to the floor, shortly after finding herself pinned by Kakashi.
"You know, if you'd prefer, I could always just immobilize you with some of my homemade stun-powder."
Emma's eyes bugged out at his statement. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Well, it's either that or having me spend the whole night on top of you." Realizing how that just sounded, Kakashi tried to clear things up. "…I mean, pinning you down…No! I, uhhh…"
A-heh, a-heh…talk about butterflies! Even though she barely knew the man, having him say such things, being this close, and on top of her to boot…!
"Well, you get the point. And in case you were wondering, I didn't mean anything by it."Quickly regaining her self composure, Emma rolled herself over (while still under him), so that the two were now face to face. "In case I was wondering what?" she smirked. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I wasn't thinking about anything lewd if that's what you mean. That would imply that I was attracted you, and sadly for you, I'm less then impressed." Lucky for Kakashi he was wearing his mask; otherwise Emma would've certainly noticed the look of shock across the Jounin's face. 'Victory at last!' Emma thought cockily, taking his silence as proof that she'd won.