Chapter 15

Hello everyone,

I don't know if any of you will read these updates, I hope if you read this I am finding you well. I have gone to university, and with my surgery have not been able to write ever. I am in almost 18 hours and don't have nearly the time I had as a highschooler.

You all have always been so special to me, as have these stories. I will try to update the ones you want for me to every few weeks, as always I would love to read one of your stories, I'm always on the search for a new and exciting read.

If I get five or so requests on any of my stories via PMs, tweets, or even reviews, I will update that one more frequently, I'm afraid I may have to pass a few stories along to other authors in the hopes that they will be finished.

Every one of you means the world to me, please PM me, let me know about your life, if you're struggling I will be there for you every step of the way.

As always, Love to all,


I avoid Cato like the plague for the next few days, managing to avoid all my newfound friends in the process as well, finding solace in listening to Prim and the stories she conjures up about her own.

Even Gale stays away, part of me understands, but the angry, more selfish side burns with hatred towards the boy who once swore to stand by me through every trial of life.

After Cato found me collapsed on the ground in the middle of god knows where, he dragged me back to the school, back to the prying eyes and vying thoughts of my group. They all tried to be an odd form of comfort for me, but in the end my chest still felt void and the lump in my throat and pricks of my tears were not vanquished.

Nick took me to lunch, Rue to coffee, even Johanna managed to pull out of the trance Delly and Thom had put everyone in and took me out. She didn't take me where the others did though. She took me to the middle of an abandoned warehouse and threw rocks at windows with me. It blew off some of my steam, but not enough that I felt again.

Now, I sit staring at the wall in Prim and I's room, days have passed, a week or two maybe, but I'm not keeping track anymore. The familiar creak of my mother's rocking chair fills the apartment as she rocks herself into oblivion. For once I don't even have the strength to yell at her, to scream in her face for shutting down. I don't have it in me to yell at her years of mental illness, no more selfishly hoping that it will go away.

"Katniss, you have to let it go" Peeta yells at me, clearly distraught and unsure of what to do.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to focus on anything that will keep the flashback at bay.

"Why Peeta, I can't just sit here anymore. I'm so tired Peet, so tired." I scream back, my voice like fire as I shout at him, he merely winces, trying to take my hands in his once again. He's never seen my like this.

"No. No." I shake my head, grabbing onto my temples in frustration as I curl myself into my knees.

"I know Katniss, I know. You have been so strong, so brave, but you can't keep doing this to yourself, or Prim." He sighs, his voice quiet.

I pause, gasping in deep breaths as I try to calm down.

"How can you even love someone so much that you just shut down? How is that possible? I will never shut down like that, love shouldn't exist if it does things like this to us." I whisper, pulling away from him.

Then, in a flash its over, and I curl up into a ball on the edge of the mattress that has slid to the middle of the floor.

My own words echo in my brain, mixed with the creak of the rocking chair, they drive me straight into insanity.

You are wonderful

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