Alice was there. She patted the seat next to her which was open, and I sat down comfortably next to her, feeling safer.
We just sat there in silence. I listened to the teacher. Alice listened to the teacher. We sat there in silence. I stared at my books, and wondered how she's handling her thirst.
After Carlisle had praised me for being able to control my thirst so easily, I saw something else. If I had no interest in animal blood, than the only thing that could please me was human blood.
Closing my eyes to stop thinking about the killing machine I had turned into, I glanced at the teacher. He was talking rapidly about a test we would be having in a few weeks.
I couldn't focus on any of these things. Normally, I'd panic about a test, and wonder how I would do on it. Now, all I could think about was not killing anyone in the room.
Finally, class ended. I held my breath and tried to not breathe even once as I raced out of class.
"How was class?" William asked, Alice right behind him.
I just moaned. He seemed to get what I mean. We ran into Bella, and she said it was absolutely natural. Now I felt even worse because they had to spend the whole entire day cheering me up.
During lunch, all of the Cullens gathered at their usual spot. Sitting alone without anyone joining them. I wanted to sit with Lily, at our usual spot with Amanda and Giselle.
Getting stuff I didn't want to eat felt like waste, so I got as little as possible. I had started walking over to our table, when a sudden jerk pulled me over to the Cullens.
"Are you an idiot? If you couldn't control your thirst this morning, you obviously can't sit with them!" William hissed at me.
I wanted to say that I could. That I could control myself and that I could sit with them if I felt like it. I knew that wasn't true though.
I sit stiffly between William and Alice, who seemed to have become my best buddies over winter break! I felt Lily's eyes gaze over to me, as I quickly looked down at my food and saw an apple. I no longer had any desire for it.
Putting the apple down, I saw they weren't even bothering to eat anything. Well, Bella gave the bagels a bite. Edward tried a bit of the salad. Alice drank some milk. Jasper ate some tofu. William ripped up crackers to make it look like he was eating them. Rosalie was forcing a bite of sandwich into her mouth, while Emmett was eating his "veggies".
It felt kinda sad. All those flavors of food...and I have to stick with blood. It's only thing I want right now, no matter how badly I wish that could change.
I picked my fork at some broccoli, and looked around the room awkwardly. Why was I sitting with the Cullens when I'm not even talking with them?
"So, um...guys," I mumbled.
All...seven of them snapped their heads around from what they were doing to meet my eyes.
"Isn't it weird? That we're not talking?" I asked.
Dang it Sophie, dang it! Never ask questions!
Edward snickered. "We never bothered to think about it. It's not like anybody asks us why we aren't talking. Sure, you might get some stares at first, but it passes after a week or two. You could go sit with your friends after, I don't know, a few months or so, once you get your thirst controlled. But...several people are wondering what you're doing here, I'll admit that."
Ugh. More information that needed.
"Your problem," he said before picking up his sandwich (which he probably wasn't going to eat).
Alice patted my back, "Don't worry, nobody's gonna judge. Although, your friends do miss you," she trailed off.
"No," William said stubbornly. "Alice, you know as well as I do what would happen if we let her sit with them."
She sighed, "True. There's a lot of variables though, so I can't be sure about what would happen," she said, trying to see the future.
I pouted and poked my fork around in my mash potatoes for the rest of lunch.
Lily was still happy with me, even after lunch. I wonder what I looked like to her during class.
"Hey Lily? Do I look...different from before winter break?" I asked.
She glanced at me. "Hmm...yes. Your skin is a lot more pale, and your eyes are a bit more brown than green. I hate to say this, but you look a lot like the Cullens! Pale face, gold eyes, cold expressions, you get my point. Other than that, well, I guess you did do something different, but I can't really pinpoint it," she said quickly.
I sighed in relief. "Thanks Lily. By the way, how was your winter break?"
Lily now started rambling about winter break, while I discovered another use for my talent. Since I still have bad control over my thirst, I could just ask a question! Let that person ramble on, while I don't have to say anything, and not breathe.
"Sounds fun," I mumbled.
Suddenly, Mathew Daniels, a guy I didn't pay much attention to, stopped us.
"Okay, Sophie, I want to ask you, if you'd like to go out with me," he said straightly.
This was not my problem! It was that I had sucked in a breath, just as he came over, so all his scent left my mouth watering.
"No thank you," I snapped, quickly fleeing away from killing him.
Lily look confused, "You didn't say yes? To the cutest boy in school?" she asked.
Now when you say beautiful, my mind immediately goes over to the Cullens. Especially William. His eyes were quite pretty, even though they did have the same eyes. His were just more...deep I could say. Deep and sensible. Quiet, yet outgoing.
I grinned, "My bad."