{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copies left
You can choose from our best books below
kuraireikan would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Bicycle on a Space Ship

By kuraireikan

Humor / Scifi

Bicycle on a Space Ship

Whoever coined the phrase, “...as easy as riding a bicycle,” had obviously never ridden one in a moving space ship at one-point-two earth gravity.

At least, that was Jayne’s way of looking at it.

Now granted, he wasn’t the most learned of men, but he figured he had the right of this one since the “gor-amn idjit” who did say it wasn’t sitting in the infirmary with a broken wrist and a twisted ankle, among other things.

Though, what with the drugs the Doc had given him, he was feeling mighty shiny about now.

Accept for when he tried to wave to Mal, who was standing in the doorway jawin’ at the Doc. It was about then that things got real irritating, pain-wise.

“Hey, Mal!” he waved, “Ow—ow—gor-amnit—ow!”

“Please don’t do that or I’ll have to re-set your wrist, again,” said Simon as he moved in to give Jayne another shot.

“But I wanna say hey to Mal,” Jayne whined.

“Have you considered the possibility of using your other hand?” asked Simon.

“Oh, well, I s’pose I could try that.”

“Hey, Mal!” called Jayne as he waved with his uninjured hand. “Oh, hey, Doc. This works real well. See Mal,” he said as he waved again.

“Yeah, Jayne,” said Mal. “you look to be doin’ a might better.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m full-on shiny now!”

“Good. Then maybe you can explain to me why you decided to try riding a bicycle in my cargo bay while Wash and Kaylee were in the middle of calibratin’ the engine thrusters.”

“Cuz tha’s where it wuz when I foun’ it,” slurred Jayne as that last shot finally began to take effect. “’Sides, aint ‘nough room in my quarters. An’ even if ‘ere wuz, Vera’d jus’ get jealous.”

“Jayne,” said Mal, “I highly doubt that a weapon of such incredible beauty as your Callahan Full-bore Auto Lock pistol would get jealous of a rickety old bicycle.”

At this Jayne waved Mal over to the gurney in a conspiratorial fashion and whispered loudly, “Vera’s got herse’f a real bad temper.”

“Oh, well, in that case, I s’pose you were right not piss her off,” Mal whispered back, “But no matter, for now you just stay here and do as the doc tells you.”

“Aye, aye, Cap’n,” would be the last thing out of Jayne for a while as he finally drifted off to sleep.

“Doc,” said Mal with a not too pleased look in his eye, “why don’t we collect everyone in the mess hall. I reckon we need to have ourselves a chat.”


Shepherd Book and Inara were already there making tea when the word went out. Zoe and Wash came in from the bridge after having put Serenity on auto-pilot. Kaylee came up from the engine room and took a seat, followed closely by Simon and River.

“Now that we’re all here,” began Mal, “how about someone explainin’ to me why there’s a bicycle on my boat and why it got left where Jayne could find it.”

“But it weren’t left out at all Cap’n, truly!” exclaimed Kaylee. “We had it good an’ hid in the smuggler’s hold. I swear!”

“Well, that answers the one, but not the other,” said Mal.

“Sir, Jayne’s birthday’s comin’ up,” said Zoe. “Last stop on Persephone most went and got him somethin’. That happened to be one, I reckon.”

“A bicycle? Why in all the ’verse would you get Jayne a bicycle when you know about the only thing he likes is guns?”

“He likes grenades,” said Wash, the mischievous glint in his eye belying the dead-pan delivery.

“Actually,” said Shepherd Book with a chuckle, “he likes anything that goes boom.”

“You get my point,” said Mal in a tone that dared anyone to continue this line of discussion.

Ever the one to challenge him, Inara asked, “Why shouldn’t we get him something besides guns or things that go boom?” as she looked to Wash and the Shepherd. “He certainly seems to have enjoyed the bicycle...although it might have been nice if he’d waited until his birthday to do so.”

“Oh, he enjoyed it, alright,” said Mal, “for all of about five minutes. And now my crew is a man down with a big job comin’ up. Which is why I don’t like having oddities on my boat lest they be part of a job themselves.”

“But we’s always gettin’ him the same thing every time,” said Kaylee, in a somewhat tentative manner, “an’ he’s got so many already. Wouldn’t surprise me if one o’ these days we won’t even be able to lift off for all the extra weight.”

“We were just thinking that it would be nice to get him something non-lethal for a change,” said Inara.

“I was thinking he should know better than to try to ride it while the ship’s stabilizers were down,” explained Wash.

“It would, he should, and in fact, he does,” said Mal in reference to the previous two comments.

“I know it didn’t go as anyone might have hoped,” said Zoe, “but it does get old always gettin’ the same thing, and he did like it. Almost as much as he likes that silly hat,” and her calming, authoritative voice began to diffuse the tension in the room.

“Fine, this once I’ll let it slide.”

“But from now on do me a favor and stick to what we know,” said Mal. “The man likes guns and all manner of interestin’ weaponry so that’s what he gets. There’ll be nothin’ fanciful on my boat without checkin’ with me first.”

“That’s an order!”

He received a chorus of “Aye, Cap’n” and “Yes, sir” all around, until his attention fell on the Tam siblings just in time to hear River whispering to her brother.

“Simon, does this mean we don’t get to keep the hover board?”

Everyone managed to hold it in until Mal—and the sound of his Chinese cursing—had disappeared down the forward passageway before the mess hall filled with laughter.

As they were leaving Inara passed behind the Tams and leaning in said, “River, dear, you are a true gem.”

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, kuraireikan
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

PaulSenkel: If you like Arthur C. Clarke's Odyssey, especially The Final Odyssey, then you will probably also enjoy this book. I definitely did.It does, however, address a more adolescent public than the above-mentioned book.I enjoyed the story and finished it in a few days. The overall situation on earth an...

AASTHA SHARMA: really...one of the best novel i've ever read...a very touching story....really loved it...thanks for writing such a masterpeice...the struggle of the narrator but still remaining satisfied is the thing that i liked the most...another nice thing is the concept of talking with god...in short i wou...

emilia handy: THIS BOOK WAS JUST SO AMAZING?!?!!??! I couldnt make myself stop reading it. it had such amazing characters and an amazing plot twist. i suggest everybody should read this that likes humor as well as romance.

snowview03: This is the first book I have read on this app and I loved it! When I read the title I thought about the hunger games, but this novel is so much more. Some book have a comparison between other books that fallow like premises so i will do my own: Arena has the compellingly emotional stresses and t...

Leah Brown: This was an amazing read! I was hooked from the very first chapter, holding my breadth to see what would happen next. The characters are rich and vibrant, and the world Danielle has created is fascinating. If you love YA, you MUST read this book. Such a smart, brilliant debut novel. I loved it!

Melissa Davis: Interesting book and an enjoyable read. Had something different to it, that made me glad I picked it up.

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Ding Fernando: very nice read.so realistic you can hardly put it down,i really like the character so human despite posessing immortality and eternal youth.though i would prefer a better ending..i still love this novel and i am recommending it to all sci fi fans to give it a try .you will love it too!!

Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...

More Recommendations

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

Jazie Alyssa Flores: There may have been many grammar errors. But OMG this story had me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I loved every bit of it. The relationship Sydney and Cameron had was beautiful. I loved how it wasn't a typical love story but revolved around a growing friendship and the drama that surrounded ...

TheProfezzer: This is an excellent story. The plot covers several decades and at least two generations of good guys fighting the enemy from beyond. I found it hard to put down and read the second book after the first but you should red "the Origin of FORCE" first to keep the story in line. I just could not ...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

borkarprasad: Nicely laid story. Needed a little more ghost and Raven conversations. Initially, Had everyone on suspect list but satisfied by the precision to capture the killer. Waiting for more Raven and Cade adventures.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.