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Would've, Could've, Should've

Summary

I like Samuel Boma; he is a very handsome black man on the TOS. He is intelligent, he is an astrophysicist, and he has a strong sense of compassion. I've read him throughout fanfiction as an antagonist with a fierce desire to have Nyota. But who wouldn't? I have even read in one story that they married. But he is a good foil who enhances Spock's image by comparison and lends a little spice to Nyota's background, making the story of her romance with Spock more poignant. So I wrote a small story on behalf of Boma about his desire to have Nyota. A stand alone story.

Genre:
Romance / Drama
Author:
Uhura the 9th
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Goodbye Sam

I like Samuel Boma; he is a very handsome black man on the TOS. He is intelligent, he is an astrophysicist, and he has a strong sense of compassion. I’ve read him throughout fanfiction as an antagonist with a fierce desire to have Nyota. But who wouldn’t? I have even read in one story that they married. But he is a good foil who enhances Spock’s image by comparison and lends a little spice to Nyota’s background, making the story of her romance with Spock more poignant. So I wrote a small story on behalf of Boma about his desire to have Nyota. A stand alone story.


Earth-shore leave

In a lounge in the San Francisco area, a lovely woman with time on her hands sits alone, sipping her favorite drink quietly at a table and reminiscing about the past. Soft jazz music playing in the background and dim lights set the ambiance. Nyota is humming along with the familiar tune.

A well-built, handsome man approaches her.

“Hello, beautiful.”

Nyota looks up and smiles at Sam: “Hi Sam, what brings you here?” She gives him a quizzical look. “And-how did you find me?”

“May I sit down?”

Nyota waves her hand to grant permission. Her eyes take in his handsome face and the grayish-blue suede-type jacket and pants that fit snugly around his firm body. Sam is built and fit, with tight wavy curls in his hair. His eyes are his most attractive feature: dark brown with a touch of gold when the light hits them. He is all man. A waitress comes by and asks him for his order, then leaves to retrieve it.

“Now, I don’t know if you remember, but we danced together here once. A slow dance in fact.”

Nyota smiles at the memory and Sam continues: “It was one of our favorite spots, if I recall correctly.

“Are you okay?”

“Mum hum. I just felt melancholy and drifted in here.”

“I hope you were thinking about us.”

Nyota gives him a sly look and starts to remember ‘about us’: Yes, Sam is a handsome man, and he knows it. The one thing Nyota didn’t like was fighting over or dealing with competition from other women who wanted her so-called man. Sam had made it known that he was a social butterfly and that there were other women, but the women were jealous of her for dating him. He was a wonderful lover, friend, and partner, but the fights about each other’s love interests took a toll on her. She loved him at one point but grew tired of other women draping their bodies over him, and he had been jealous of the men who flirted and showed interest in her. The game grew too tiresome; the relationship had run its course.

“There is no ‘US’, Sam; it’s played out.”

Sam realized too late that he had taken Nyota for granted. She was not only intelligent, but also confident and sexy as hell. Men dreamed about dating her, marrying her, making love to her. He had had a chance at that; she had been willing to give up her career for marriage. But back then he wasn’t ready for marriage. It was just recently that he had started to feel as if something was missing from his life, that he needed a more serious relationship, and that Nyota fit the bill. He had let her go; he had cared more about his sexual liaisons than her and she did everything to retaliate against him.

“There used to be an us; I mean, we were compatible. I liked our relationship, Nyota. We had something special.”

“Yes, we did at one point, but we were living in different realities. You weren’t serious about commitment and I played along.”

Sam looks into her soulful eyes, rich with life, wanting to be a part of it, if he could only convince her.

“You know people change; I know I have.”

Sam’s drink arrives and he gives the waitress his credit. Nyota tilts her head to take a better look at the man.

“Maybe.”

A familiar song begins to play.

“Nyota, may I have this dance?”

Nyota has nothing to lose; she wonders if dancing will perhaps make her feel something for Sam. Maybe. She slowly stands up to reveal her flowery maxi-dress, cut low in the front to reveal her sexy cleavage. She has on large green hoop earrings, which were her favorite color. Sam takes her hand and leads her onto the dance floor. It’s a slow song. He holds her waist and his hand slips down her back to the cleft of her derriere, gently pulling her closer.

Nyota drapes her arm over his shoulder as they dance.

“I like this, Nyota. We were so good for each other.”

“From your perspective, Sam. I see it differently.”

Sam bent his head down to get a better view of her face.

“Mind explaining that?”

“Well-we fought a lot, mostly about commitment.”

“True, I wasn’t ready at the moment, but I’ve changed since then.”

“Since when?”

“A man can change. I stepped back and thought about our relationship, Nyota. I did some really deep soul-searching, and I think we can make a life together.”

Nyota leans into his chest and chuckles, thinking about the torment they gave each other, the people they both used to get back at one another. It was funny how he thinks that was perfect.

“What’s so funny?

“Well, your soul-searching revelation came too late for us.”

The music stops and they head back toward the table to finish their drinks. Sam holds her hand as they sit, hoping she will reconsider.

“Is it too late for us? Are you seeing someone else?”

Nyota looks into Sam’s brown eyes; they once had an intimate relationship-both of them had many before and after the one with each other, and they had both moved on. Such casual relationships come with a price, a price she refuses to pay anymore. Sex in the 23rd century is easy, with no commitments, no strings to tie one down; there is even DNA testing for compatible matches. But after exploring the universe, seeing many cultures and different types of family units, Nyota’s heart yearns for something to call her own, someone to share her life with. Nyota wants romance, the old-fashioned kind, getting to know each other gradually, going on dates, but reserving sex for a partner who was passionate and willing to commit to loving her alone, and who shares goals with her, including that of having a family.

She takes a deep breath:

“No, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”

The waitress brings them another set of drinks. Sam tilts his head, taking in her response, but still wondering if she is seeing someone else. If she is, he wants to find out about the man, to find out what kind of competition he is up against. Sam knows that Nyota is full of compassion, has a heart full of love. He hadn’t understood this back when they were together, but he realizes that she is what he wants now, and he is willing to do anything to get her back. But he has to find a way back into her heart, a way in, so they can have get back together. Sam has been playing the field; he had enjoyed it. Women find him irresistible, great in the sack; they always want more. He would love them and leave them, but when he was with Nyota it felt different. She too played with other men against him, that he retaliated, it made the relationship fierce and intense.

“Many thought you and I would make a great couple,” Sam says, leaning closer and still holding her hand. “An everlasting relationship, they said.”

“Yep! That’s what they said! But that did not happen for us, Sam.”

Nyota looks deep into Sam’s eyes, searching for the truth. She realizes she could never love him-she could never be feel confident about herself, like she does now, if she got involved with him, she would be lost again.

“People think we look good together Nyota.

“They told me that as well. But that’s not what makes up a relationship or love.”

“Love? We could fall in love, Nyota, if you are willing to have a relationship with me.”

Listening to Sam confirms her thoughts: he’s not the man. He has missed the point; he is a Starfleet officer, an astrophysicist, and a very handsome man. A man who has missed the whole point of this conversation. It is nice that he is trying, but her heart lies elsewhere. It belongs to someone else. Nyota hopes that she can find him and share her life with him. She longs for him. She can’t see his face, but she dreams about him almost every night. Her hand reaches out toward him, hoping he will come into view, so she can see his eyes and feel his touch. But he’s out of reach, out of view; her heart longs for him, the man of her dreams, his hand reaching out towards her. He must be close; he must be because the dreams are strong. That’s where her heart lies, her future and her life. She looks at Sam again with hopelessness; he could never fulfill her dream. He is just like so many of the other men she has known.

“No, Sam. I’m sorry, but I believe our time together has-run its course. And I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings if it didn’t work out. You’re a fantastic man, and it’s been a pleasure to have known you. I know you will find the special woman who is right for you.”

Sam takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself, reeling from the defeat that she has handed to him. He has lost the one woman who could make his life complete, the woman worth living for. He realizes that his lifestyle took a toll on their relationship and rues the memory of straying a couple of times. Now he’s paying the penalty for his carelessness. He finds it strange that Nyota is holding him accountable for his time as a Casanova and wonders if maybe that’s why he was willing to commit to her. She was real, not fake, and held a different view on life as being more than just a relationship She has changed in her point of view about when they were together, just listening to her, Nyota is -different.

“I will miss you, Nyota. You really meant something to me. I will always cherish you, and if you decide to seek me out. I will be here.”

Sam takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. He stands up, picks up his drink and finishes it.

“Until we meet again, my beautiful Nyota.”

Sam turns and leaves the lounge. Nyota watches him go, with no regrets and no sorrow. Her heart thumps as her thoughts turn to the mystery man in her dreams. As though waiting for her, longing for the face behind them, trying to touch her. A single tear falls. [Those hands]

“Where are you, my love?” she whispers.

The End: Next follow companion story [ Alien to Me.]


A/N:

Meaning: would have, could have, should have
A reply you give to a whinging person who is expressing regret for not having taken a particular course of action when the opportunity originally presented itself. They’ve suffered the consequences and they are possibly fishing for sympathy or simply beating themselves up about it.

It essentially means, “Too late for regrets, you can’t change the past, get on with your life, learn from the experience, make better choices in future, stop doing a post mortem on your life.”

From: the urbandictionary.com

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