Clan, Love, and Broken Up
Match Twelve: Clan, Love, and Broken Up:
My eyes turned towards to Yao in bed. "Yao."
I puffed up my cheeks. "When did everything get so screwy?"
He pushed my bangs away from my forehead. "What exactly do you mean?"
"Everything. The money, that mess with Szu, the impending marriage." I pressed my lips together. Yao patted me on the head.
"We've done well so far."
I pushed away his hand. "Please don't do that. I'm not a child."
I rolled over onto my stomach. How did this all spiral out of my hands on my watch? The earlier years were much easier. My uncle wasn't in the picture at the time. No, this started before he came along. My relationship with Yao caused me to be distracted. The night when Szu was raped he came over to my house and seduced with a new "game" that he wanted to try out. It didn't take me long to fold under his charms. He tied me down, blindfolded me, and caressed mw with a feather.
I held my hand to my chest. All that time, Szu was being attacked. I was lost in my own pleasure while some pervert violated her in her own house, our home. To make it worse, I was too busy to help her recover and find justice. Because of my own problems, Qian took matters into his own hands. I shut my eyes, cursing myself. Why did I kiss Yao on that? How did it all come to this?
"Yao," I spoke up.
"Are we making a mistake?"
He lifted his head, eyebrow raised. "Why would you ask me that?" I opened my eyes, shaking my head. How could I tell me here what I was thinking? He would think I was childish and doubtful again. Or worse, I would probably break his heart. Yao may not look it, but he can be a sensitive guy. The other countries belittle him and Ivan scares him. Only with my father, Yao found the respect that he desired. In the beginning, he was rather doubtful of me. Over the recent years, our business partnership has become more stable. The personal side was chewing me up. I needed to break away from that part, but my own selfish desires keep preventing from saying the words. He rested his hand on my cheek.
"Talk to me," he said. I bit on my lower lip.
"What do you think of us?" I asked.
"Excuse me?" he asked. I struggled to say it.
"I just don't think…" My heart twisted in knots. I tried not to cry as I tried to spit it out. Yao pulled me into his arms. Stop it. Why are you so good to me? You keep making it worse for me to save myself. I pushed him away with tears in my eyes.
"Ju?" Yao asked.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I just can't." I leapt out of bed and ran into my bathroom. The running water from the faucet drowned out my sobbing. Why am I like this? I am the leader of the Liao clan. I am not supposed to be broken up like this over a man! Love doesn't make someone pathetic and whiny. I wiped away my tears. I probably can't do this alone. Still, I can't be broken up like this. Something had to change. I stopped my crying and took in a deep breath. We will still get married as a failsafe for the clan. However, something has to change in order to reserve what little is left of myself. I opened the bathroom door.
"Ju?" Yao asked in my bed. "Are you feeling okay? Were you crying?" I shuffled before putting on a brave face.
"Yao, we need to talk," I said in a trembling voice.