Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Renee Garrow would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

In The Afterlife

By Renee Garrow

Humor

In The Afterlife

Somewhen in the afterlife – when, because time has little relevance once you're dead – a doctor, a preacher, and a pilot meet and strike up a conversation. And, since this being the afterlife and all, the topic eventually came around to the natures of their demise.

"So, what brought you to this place, if you don't mind my asking?" the doctor asked, the burr of his Scottish brogue taking the sting out of the question once he broached the subject.

The preacher, whose graying corn-rowed hair and goatee seemed at odds with his collar, smiled thoughtfully. "A righteous zealot in thrall to a corrupt and powerful government gut shot me because he didn't think I was worth the honor of his sword," he said, his deep mellifluous voice reflecting neither resentment nor anger at the recollection. He placed a hand low on his abdomen. "Here."

"Och, gut wounds," the doctor said and offered a sympathetic smile in return. "Nasty way to go."

"Yes," the preacher said with a sad nod. "But it gave me the time to warn my friends. I am at peace with it all."

The doctor looked at the pilot, who even in death still retained an air of boyish goofiness. "You look like a healthy lad – I take it it wasn't pleasant."

The pilot rolled his eyes and flung his arms out in pure exasperation. "Tell me about it, doc. I had probably just done the most brilliant piece of flying in the history of mankind – brought a dead in the air gorram brick down out of a flat spin in one piece, mind you – and didn't even get to bask in the glory before bam, I was pinned to my seat by a tamadah Reaver boarding harpoon like a bug." He slumped and gave his companions a slightly bug-eyed look. "I tell ya – where is the justice in that?" Then in the next instant he was a lost puppy as he turned to the preacher. "I wonder if Zoë wore something slinky to my funeral. Do you think she wore something slinky to my funeral? Because I really would have liked that."

The preacher smiled and nodded. "I'm pretty sure she did," he said a little more wistfully than a man of the cloth had a right to.

"Zoë?" the doctor asked.

The pilot sighed and the echo of its longing stirred the ether. "My wife – the most beautiful warrior woman to ever grace the heavens." Then he glanced around sheepishly. "And if she heard me say that, she'd kill me with her pinky finger. Oh, no, wait …." His hands came up again in frustration as he shouted, "She can't. I'M ALREADY DEAD!"

Both the doctor and the preacher reached out comforting hands and patted the young pilot on the back.

"I'm sorry," the pilot said and nodded a thanks to the two men. "So, what about you, doc? How'd you die?"

The doctor grimaced and the action brought dimples out from behind his stubble. "A bloody exploding tumor," he all but growled.

The preacher blinked and the pilot's expression froze in a rictus of embarrassment. His eyes widen and darted briefly towards the preacher as his mouth formed a silent 'o'. An uncomfortable silence surrounded the three, and this being the afterlife it was as still as the grave and more than just a tiny bit unsettling.

The pilot cleared his throat. "No, really – how'd ya die?"

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Renee Garrow
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...

E_W_Hemmings: First of all, sorry this review took so long: I've had science mocks recently and then when I came to read this, I made notes to put in the review like I usually do... but then I deleted them. Well done me. As a result, this review is a bit more general than most reviews I write, but hey ho, let'...

faithashley2000: This is such an amazing story, very well thought out and the plot is perfect. I recommend everyone to read this. Although the readers are most likely going to be teen girls, due to the cheesynees and romance

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...

jasminedazz: A very cute short story with a good balance of all elements. The writing is quite detailed giving a visual image of what is being read which quite a commendable quality in writing. Just a small pattern that I have noticed is that there is no paragraph breaker between events that have elapsed time...

Marijana1: The story might be characterized as “modern fantastic”. The representation of “the future” is not only ironic and fault-finding, but also very critical. Of course, it is highly exaggerated, but I get the feeling that it may well be linked to the truth, even though it is far away from it. The fact...

Regina Lum: While the plot so far is kind of linear and loosely follows Pride & Prejudice's plot, I find this version of Pride & Prejudice a very enjoyable read!! I read all 13 chapters in one sitting!! I can't stop myself from reading! I hope to read more and feel the love blossom between Elijah and William...

Emily White: Love this book so much !!!!!!!!!!! This is my favorite book now I can't explain why I love it I've been reading it for the past week now I read it during my reading class in school if the teacher lets me

Beloved Q Medina: At first I figured it was another genre fiction book and didn't have any expectations, but by the first few chapters I found myself engrossed in Sid's journey. Some say that genre fiction is predictable, or not as substantial as literary fiction, but this novel was anything but that. I found myse...

More Recommendations

Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...

Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!
King's Lament

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!
Spectra

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."