Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
modestlobster would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Titanium Steel: A True Story

By modestlobster

Humor / Scifi

Chapter 1

When your pilot summons you to the bridge – you go. Ain't no questions asked.

On occasion, your pilot – once you have arrived at said bridge of unsaid Firefly that you own – he might say, "Mal, now don't get mad, but we may have – how can I say it – 'bumped' into something with the ship."

To which you will most surely stare him down, with the stoniest stare that not even a man made of stone could manage.

"Bumped?" You ask your go tsao de monkey of a pilot. "Right, so no complaints when my fist 'bumps' that grin off your face."

"Unfortunately, Mal, you know my face is stuck this way – no amount of bumping could improve it any direction... Besides, I think it adds character."

You tell him firmly, "'Character' ain't something we can afford." but in that kind of heroic tone of finality you've got going for you. And you're just about to step out, your job done, to do more important things like finally organizing your collection of suspenders (such a gorram mess – what would Ma Reynolds think?), when you recall a jien huo:

"I thought I hired some sorta robot thing to replace you... or did I just dream that."

"Mal, sometimes I worry about your affinity for robots. And don't say it's the same as dinosaurs." He'll suddenly get all dark and broody, like a dark brooding thing, before continuing, "Because dinosaurs are dead, and they're never coming back... Well, except for that one planet – Dinotopia – where they run free and happy."

Jung chi duh go-se dway, you recall, fondly, "I hate that place. Dinosaurs think they run the whole gorram world. I'd like to turn the whole place into an amusement park."

And then you remember – that, in fact, you are not here to talk about dinosaurs. "But robots, now they are perfect for every task under the sun! Why, did you really think this perfect head of hair coifs itself?"

"Actually, I thought it was a wig that covers the brain damage you got in the war... Sometimes it's hard to tell when Zoe's joking."

"There's certainly going to be someone's brain damaged on this ship in a moment. And it surely won't be mine."

Your pilot, he will call out to his beloved, saying, "Zoe, if the captain kills me, it'll be on your conscience!" and then he might foolishly turn back towards you and admonish, "Just, with all the excess brain matter, make sure it doesn't cover up the letters of S E R E N I T Y to say anything less heroic... Like S F P L II I I Y..."

"Sfpliiiiy was my mother's maiden name." You are beginning to burn with the burning rage of a thousand men whose mothers' maiden names have been off-handedly insulted. "It was a close second for naming the ship."

Your pilot doesn't notice your rage. "I'd hate to know if there was a third option." Now he notices your rage. "I meant 'love', Captain. Much like you and your love for robots. Yes, I'd love to know!"

"Fizzlewhitz." you tell him. Run-tse duh fwotzoo, that would've been a mighty fine name, wouldn't it've? A Firefly named Fizzlewhitz, fizzling and whitzing across the 'verse... Hey, hey now – no one's paying you to daydream:

"Seriously now, where is that robot I got to replace you? I paid good money for that thing. It even came with a hat."

You open that convenient closet you just remembered that you had installed in the bridge for moments just such as this, revealing your newly-prized possession (dashingly wearing said hat) to your awe-struck subordinate.

"Mal, I think they call those 'mannequins' – not robots."

"What!" Seriously, what? "No. It's a – see, with the arms? You just have to – battery packets, and – how the heck do you..."

You push those gorram robot buttons like it were Button-Pushing Day on Bellerophon. "Robot, I command you! Go and hit Wash with your arms of titanium steel!"

Your trusty pilot leans back in his trusty piloting chair. "Well, this should be... interesting."

"And I don't have the encyclopaedic brain of a robot. Define 'interesting'."

"Oh god, oh god, we're all –"

You give your robot death thingy a generous shove towards the offending niou-se. (You mean Wash, not yourself. You're pretty sure you took a shower in the past week. Yeah, you smell okay.)

"– gonna have to pick up your robot's arms if they're going to fall off like that all the time."

Stay calm. You can still bow out of this gracefully... Just don't make eye contact, back away slowly in a zigzag manner, and pray to your fay-fay duh pee-yen that he doesn't go and pick up –

"Your hat, sir."

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, modestlobster
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

John Smith: This is what Sci Fi is all about. Reads like early Heinlein. In the style of Space Cadets. No esoteric problems..but good ol blaster and space action with a host of relatable characters

Chevonne Prinsloo: I loved this book.. I didn't want to stop reading it! just my kind of book... I really love how the plot of the story carries along. I hope there are more books to follow after this one! I like the way she describes how Rogue is feeling and the way she shows the emotions going through Rogu. I als...

ericaporamoralcine: La trama es muy interesante y original y eso ya dice muchísimo cuando todos tratan de triunfar con ideas ya trilladas.No puedo opinar en detalle sobre la gramática, porque a pesar de entender el inglés a la perfección, la falta de uso en cuanto a lectura y diálogo hacen que me maneje bastante mal...

Meri Amber: The plot is creative, fun and addictive! The writing is superb and the characters are really well put together. Definitely highly recommeded!

Nymeria: Really can't get enough of this story. It flows well, it captivates the reader from page 1, and throws you into such a well-written, well conceptualized world that you'll believe it's real. Everything in the book is meshed together really well. From character backgrounds to plot twists, you can t...

Mayank Nrr: well i have enjoyed the bookWhats good is the story its twists its characters and suspense its mix of thriller and horror hoping for a sequel Whats not Is the part where raven to protect cade started to avoid him this is normal in every story heroine trying to save the hero but the track ended so...

PaulSenkel: If you like Arthur C. Clarke's Odyssey, especially The Final Odyssey, then you will probably also enjoy this book. I definitely did.It does, however, address a more adolescent public than the above-mentioned book.I enjoyed the story and finished it in a few days. The overall situation on earth an...

spooky jedi: Love your story!I really hope more people read this story!Its amazing!! The plot is very unique and different, which is very good to have in a world full of stories. You have very complex and intellectual plot line, with your many loveable character and that hint of 'will they, won't they' is ju...

Liam Butler: I am Liam Butler, and I wrote this novel. If that sounds like an AA admission, that's because it sure feels like one. It is traditional for a writer to hate his own work, it is almost a rite of passage to destroy one's own work in a drunken rage for the first time. Perhaps it's the public availab...

More Recommendations

Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...

hridhyaraj: I am only able to read till the bonus chapter of boyband...please someone tell me what happens after that.... I can't wait to know what happens next. does aqueela and jt get back together? what about Troy? I feel pity for the guy...and where does Emma and Xavier move to? I'm just flooded with ...

Melissa Davis: Interesting book and an enjoyable read. Had something different to it, that made me glad I picked it up.

Laluna: I started reading this 4 hours ago at 2 am and I just can't keep my eyes off the screen since then bcs the story was literally soooo good. Not to mention that I've gotta go to work in the next two hours and I will probably have massive eyebags under my eyes but I'm not even sorry lol. The only th...

SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...