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Hoseok’s POV

“This is bullshit!” I hear Jeongguk shout from the other side of the house.

I sigh, relaxing back into the bed. I’m still not fully healed, so they keep telling me to stay in bed as much as possible.

“Still feel like shit?” Yoongi mumbles from across the room, book in hand as he reads quietly.

I hum. “Could be better,” I answer hesitantly. Yoongi doesn’t talk to me much. Of course, I understand why. I killed his boyfriend.


I look away, not knowing exactly how to respond.

“You could at least try to defend yourself,” Yoongi slaps his book shut and rolls his eyes.

I scoot myself up on the bed and look at him. “Why would I defend myself for something that was obviously wrong?”

Yoongi just stares back at me, expression unchanging.

“I regret everything that I did, you know,” I add. “Tae was my friend, too.”

Yoongi stands up and marches right out the door. Tears immediately come to my eyes. He’s sensitive. I understand. But seeing him upset makes me upset.

I wish I had never met Jimin. Taehyung would still be alive and happy, living with Yoongi.

“Stop crying,” Jin walks in, sitting on the corner of the bed.

I sniffle. “I wish I was the one...”

“Hm?” Jin hums. “The one who...what?”

“I wish I had died that day instead of Tae,” I bite my lip, holding back my sobs.

Yoongi’s POV

I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. I quickly open the cap and down most of the water.

“Damn,” Namjoon mumbles from the other side of the counter.

I lift my middle finger up and down the rest of the water from the bottle.

“Thirsty much?”

“Long day.”

Namjoon looks down at his watch. “It’s only noon.”

“Well, Hoseok makes the time go by slower and slower for me,” I grumble.

Namjoon sighs. “Look. We all understand where you’re coming from, but are you ever gonna let that go? You know as good as I do that Hoseok was under the influence of drugs same as we were before we broke out of it. It’s not his fault.”

“I don’t need a lecture right now, Joon,” I grit my teeth. “If Jin were the one he murdered, you would be the same way.”

“I happen to be smarter than you, no offense.”

I blink. “Offense taken.”

“Whatever. I just know that it’s not Hoseok’s fault. It was Jimin’s and we already got that revenge,” Namjoon says. “Actually, Y/N did. So how about we stop getting in petty arguments with each other and spend time looking for Y/N since she’s the one who was supposed to be home an hour ago.”

“I’m not forgiving him,” I shout at Namjoon as he walks away.

A tear comes to my eye and I quickly flick it away. I’m not letting myself cry over a stupid issue like this.

Hoseok’s POV

A cup of orange juice is slapped onto my breakfast tray. I look up and see Yoongi standing there.

I blink up at him. “Is this poisoned or something?”

“Don’t give me ideas,” he mutters before walking away.

“That seems like it’s going well,” Jin chuckles.

I hum, taking a sip of the orange juice.

“You know, Tae always asked for orange juice first thing in the morning,” Jin adds.

I look down at the cup. Life keeps choosing to haunt me with these little things over and over.

“Yoongi always got it for him.”

“Are you trying to make me feel bad?”

Jin smiles. “No. I just think maybe Yoongi’s showing sympathy. Also this gives you something to bond with him over.”

I nod. It’s not a bad idea. I do like orange juice.

Hoseok’s POV

I wake up to the sound of something crashing to the ground.

“I’m fine!!” Jeongguk shouts. He’s been a mess lately. Trying to find Y/N is proving to be pretty difficult.

I groan. “Seriously? My beauty sleep...”

“You can suck it up,” Yoongi says from his chair, still reading that book.

“Little Women,” I mumble, reading the title of the book out loud. “You like that book?”

“Don’t know. I’m in the middle of reading it,” he answers, simply.

I nod, clicking my tongue. “You dyed your hair again.”

Yoongi looks up from the book. “Hoseok, I’m not in the mood for your awkward attempt at apologizing.”

“I wasn’t going to—” I sigh, cutting myself off. “I just figured you’ve already heard what I have to say and you’ll forgive me when you’re ready. That doesn’t mean I’m not sorry...But,” I sit up, “I was going to ask if you could get me some...orange juice...maybe.”

Yoongi’s face drops for a moment, but then he stands and walks out of the room, coming back moments later with a cup of orange juice in hand.

I grab it from him and take a quick drink.

“Not scared it’s poisoned this time?”

I shake my head. “You came back with it too quick.”

He hums, but I continue.

“But even if it was poisoned, I wouldn’t blame you. Hell, I’d drink it anyway. I deserve it,” I sigh.

“Don’t play that card, Hoseok,” Yoongi rolls his eyes and continues reading his book.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

Yoongi’s POV

I look up from my book and sneak a glance at Hoseok. Why do I come to his room every morning? Why do I always feel the need to make sure he’s okay? He doesn’t deserve to be alive. In fact, I wish he had died instead of Tae.

Or maybe I don’t.

What I know is that when I talk to Hoseok I can feel how sorry he is. I can sense his sincerity. I just don’t want to forgive him.

I continue to stare at his sleeping face. I’m looking at a murderer right now. I’m protecting a murderer.

But deep down I know Namjoon’s right. I need to try to make efforts to make him feel better. It’s not doing any of us good right now.

Hoseok shifts a little in his sleep and I immediately look away, returning my attention to my book.

Soon I hear him whisper, “What’s happening in the book now?”

“Amy just threw Jo’s story in the fireplace,” I mumble.


“You don’t know what part that is, do you?”

“I’ve never read it, so no,” he answers.

I take a deep breath, setting the book down to look at him. “Juice?”

He tries to hide it, but I see the hint of a smile appear on his lips. “Orange, please.”

And I can feel my broken heart heal just a little bit more in that moment.

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