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You Know You're Obsessed With Firefly When

By emilytheslayer323

Humor

Chapter 1

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH FIREFLY WHEN…

In your history class, your teacher refers to the New Mexico territory as "this land," and the first thing you do is look over to the friend you converted, and tell her that it should be called her grave.

A perfectly normal conversation is about whether or not a gaseous planet like Jupiter could be terraformed.

You have incorporated the terms "gorram" and "shiny" so well into your vocabulary that you don't even realize you're saying them anymore until your family or friends look at you a bit strangely.

You took 2 newbies to a pre-screening in May

You bought extra Firefly DVDs to give away before the BDM was released

You had a Serenity party, inviting 50 people, and even bought extra tickets on September 30, 2005

You bought several Firefly and Serenity DVDs as Christmas gifts

You feel a sense of pride that the movie got made at all... it really does feel like it is your movie.

You find yourself peppering your conversations with Chinese phrases like "go se" and "dong ma?" and don't even realize that everyone is looking at you funny...

When you and your best work friend (whom you converted into a Browncoat) have a single shorthand phrase for someone ticking you off: " You know, I'll kill a man in a fair fight..."

You own your very own Jayne hat.

You're still having the same discussions with the same people over the same topics and you're still not tired of it!

You're trying to make plans to get together with people you met through this show, and call the resulting meet-up a shindig, and forget to make the word ironical.

When you take a box of blue latex gloves to the opening weekend for Serenity and pass them out among the other patrons.

You get a nosebleed and you start looking for men with blue gloves.

You try to convince yourself that you can watch Ariel and not be late to class, even though class starts in 20 minutes

You change the greeting on your cell phone to say 'Shiny!'

You cried before Objects of Space even started because you learned about Firefly from a friend that had the DVDs and you didn't want it to be the last episode ever.

You and your friends complete a very important project on and on time, when no one expected it could be done, and you send everyone an email saying "We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."

You randomly spam friends with Nathan Fillion pictures and the re line "O Captain, My Captain".

You refer to your dogs as meimei and didi and your significant other begins to think you have completely lost your mind.

A shirt that you haven't seen in a while randomly appears in your gym bag. You start pondering where it came from, and then state, "I don't know. Maybe it's always been here." Then you start laughing and start explaining to your friends how that was kind of an Early quote from your favorite episode of television ever. They have no idea what you're talking about, and look at you funny.

Your econ professor mentions that something is an albatross (that's how well I was paying attention; I don't remember what he was talking about) and all you can think of is River.

You've begun cursing in Mandarin without realizing it, and you're terrified you'll accidentally do it while your wonderful (and ridiculously innocent and non-cursing) Chinese roommate is around.

You have a dream about getting married in a firefly themed wedding.

For about a week after you watch the show for the first time you go around asking just about everyone you know if they've ever watched Firefly.

And you corner some of your friends into watching it - and because you can't possible expect them to watch it all on their lonesome, you "have" to sit through it again just to keep them company. And make sure that they grasp the cultural context of the show. And all the slang words.

You have trouble drinking a milkshake because it is very thick and has bits of candy in it, and without even thinking you say, "My food is problematic."

You get frustrated with other people when you use words like 'shiny' and 'gorram it' in your regular speech and then have to explain to other people what it means... and then you offer to make them Browncoats because it'd be much easier than explaining.

At the mention of hero you ask "the hero of canton?" or say "big damn heroes, sir"

You get a little teary at the mention of a leaf.

You frequently yell "I can kill you with my brain" during arguments.

You get a big package at work and you briefly wonder if there's the dead body of an old friend inside.

You sit through a marathon of Firefly on the Sci-Fi channel and hiss at the roomies when they ask you to quit hogging the TV.

You find out someone you just met is a fan of firefly and your opinion of them instantly rises.

You hear the Firefly theme song playing in your dentist's office, and you wonder several things almost simultaneously: 1) Is that on the radio? 2) Is it commonly played on the radio? 3) If it's not on the radio, who in the office is a fan?

Until the dentist and the hygienist both approached you, both wearing blue latex gloves...

Every time someone asks the question "What's going to happen?" or "What will he/she/they do?" you say, "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order." (Resulting in either very strange looks from strangers/mere acquaintances or eye rolls from knowing friends.)

Every time you get paid, you say, "At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime."

You started watching Castle because of Nathan Fillion and giggled with joy when he dressed as Mal for Halloween.

You say "gorram" more than "goddamn."

You can't wait until your kids are old enough, you can let them watch Firefly with you.

You aim to misbehave.



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