Last few weeks were full of surprises. Rose got a job, John got a scholarship... and Amy got pregnant. Wherein the last one information definitely was the most startling. He even wondered if really should go to Edinburgh in that situation. But soon, Amy ordered him not to be a fool, as the rest of the team would be around, adding:
"And you're coming back in six months, so will have plenty of time to help!"
He had to admit, Rory behaved in the best possible way. After first shock, assured Amy that actually, was very happy, proud and surely everything would be fine, as long as they loved each other. John felt really proud of his friend, wondering what he would do on his place.
So, still he was moving to Edinburgh. Tomorrow. In fact, should be excited, happy... however the only thing he could feel right now was terrible sadness. And he missed Rose. Since she started working in Torchwood (what a funny name for the coffee place...) seemed very busy. He also had some strange impression, she avoided him. Maybe, even better he met her so rare, as pretty soon would have to get used to her absence...
Honestly, John regretted, Rose didn't tell him not go. She was the only one person, who could hold him back, keep him in London. He needed her, at least as a friend. Like always, John decided not to investigate his deeply hidden feelings. It was easier this way. Anyway... he didn't want to go. Without her. What an irony! Last year, would be so happy of this opportunity, dreamed about it, but didn't believe he would win one day. Win and didn't want it, anymore. Next year, Rose could take part in this competitin too (and surely win, as he saw how talented she was...). Then, they could go to Edinburgh together.. as friends, helping each other. Thought, now he would see her only once a month during weekends (at best!) made him feel horrible.
John looked out of the window. Despite not so late hour, it already darkened outside. At last, it was December. What a pity there's no snow this year... He really should start packing... But much more he needed to talk to someone. To Donna. No, to Wilf! He also must goodbye him, tomorrow would not have enough time for everything. Without much thinking, he took a coat (which brought so many memories now...) and left home. First off, John headed towards the hill. With so clear sky Wilfred, for sure was watching stars... Pretty soon, got on place seeing his old friend who greeted him heartily.
"John, dear boy! I've already thought, you won't come to say goodbye!"
"How could I?"
John smiled warmly, truly happy to see him. Wilf took a look at him carefully and added:
"I wanted to congratulate you, but actually you don't look like a winner... why are you so terribly sad, John?"
"Oooh, no... not so terribly. Just you know... I'll miss all of you... is far away..."
"You will miss this girl."
"W... what girl?! What are you talking about?!"
"You're in love, that's obvious."
And when John heard this words spoken aloud, he noticed they're true. He loved Rose, that's why didn't want to go anywhere.
"Wilf... what are you talking about?"
Because really... how could he know? Even before John realized it himself...
"John... I've read your novel... an still wasn't sure till I saw you today.. I know you so well... Now I can see how real this story is... no matter what unbelievable adventures the characters of it relive..."
John knew he's right. That was the main reason, why he didn't let Rose to read it. She could notice it too... See his true feelings toward her hidden between the lines... There was no point in further denying.
"Oh Wilf... why you must be so magnificent... but it doesn't matter. She cannot know..."
"Sometimes is better not to disclose emotions... not show them..."
"Why no emotions?'
"Because it hurts..."
"My dear boy... feelings, emotions... they make us human... even if it hurts sometimes. Without pain and suffering, we could never understand what the real happiness is... or fully appreciate it..."
John looked at him. At his old, wrinkled face. His bright eyes, filled with so much kindness, so much wisdom... and some beautiful sadness. Eyes, which already had seen so many days and who knew how many left him... How many more times, they would watch stars together sitting on this hill... Suddenly, he realized how important, how dear this incredible man was to him.
"You know, Wilf... I would be proud..."
"If you were my Dad."
"Oh don't start..."
But John knew he was truly moved by his words, now looking at him with moist eyes. Feeling tears just behind his own eyelids, decided to break off the silence.
"I should go... pack myself..."
"John... please take care of yourself... and promise you'll be calling to me..."
John slowly started walking down, but after a few steps, turned back hearing Wilfred.
"Will you tell her?... will you tell her, before you go?"
"I don't have a courage... "
He answered sadly and walked away.
Wilfred Mott yet long watched as John was going down the hill. He thought how important to him this amazing boy was, like his own son... and how much, he could give to help him now, if he just knew how...