A PRAYER OF MALCOLM REYNOLDS based on the 90th Psalm (a prayer of Moses)
1 So here it is, uh, God. Sir. I've heard it told you're a safe place for a wanderin' mind. Hard to argue when many a wanderin' mind has come to you 'fore mine.
2 I'd apologize for takin' up your time, a heathen such as myself, but if memory serves you've got more'n enough. Been 'round long 'fore the 'verse - and way it's told you'll be 'round long after it's gone.
3 I'm on a clock myself. Headed to an early grave.
4 Feels sometime like I'm running to my death - don't suppose I know another way. You get to tryin' to stay alive for so long you can't even...well; reckon to you not much time has passed since before time,
5 kind of like a blink, my life, to you, right? Bit like those plants Kaylee is always bringin' aboard.
6 No matter what she does they just die overnight. Now I sound sort of River-like, comparing life to flowers - heh.
7 Anyway, way I see it, you've got to have a mighty powerful anger in you to let the 'verse go on as it does. Shepherd used to talk about a 'special hell', as if this hell aint special enough on its own,
8 even for a God-fearing man. Heh, more so for a God-fearing man; always knowin' your wrongs are written in some eternal book. Aint no escapin' that kind of fear, and a man can only take so much fear 'fore he starts tryin' to break free of the thing causin' it.
9 Everyone on this boat broke free of somethin' makin' 'em afraid, come to think of it. And where'd that get 'em? Hunted, shot, stabbed, kidnapped...dead. People gone just like that. No better off for fearin' you or not fearin' you.
10 I know I'm not likely to see my old age. People don't get to be 70 or 80 out here in the black. Just aint the way of things.
11 And, I dont know, maybe that's how it's meant to be! Maybe it aint about who fears you and who don't. Maybe you're just lettin' us spin 'cause you're mad - and well, can't say I ain't felt the same everyday since the war. Just plain...mad. Mad enough to do stupid things - which I have. On...multiple specific occasions.
12 Ma used to say that's why we need the good book. To make us wise n' keep track of ourselves.
13 Never been much for readin', even when I...believed. But I spoke to you, like this. I prayed nearly everyday. Thanked, like ma taught me. Begged, like hunger n' pain n' cold taught me. Never wondered if you could hear me, till the war. Only, I kept thinkin', 'how long is he gonna keep me waitin'?'
14 Thought if I just survived, if I could just hold on...each mornin' would be 'nough of a blessin' cause 'ventually we'd be done. 'Ventually we'd win and have our salvation;
15 I fed my men the same prayers - 'keep holdin'! Keep fightin'! Our angels'll come! They'll come and soon we'll be drinkin' n' laughin' together somewhere safe!'...Cant look back on them prayers now without feelin' bitter.
16 Well. Wars long done. 'Fraid any hope for salvation I had died with my men. It's ashes in Serenity Valley. But I ain't askin' to be saved anymore, God. I know now that ain't...that ain't a thing likely to happen. I reckon it's beside the point of it all anyway. So I only want one thing, for my crew - n' if it counts for anythin', your man Shepherd was a part of that, so as a favor to him - When I'm gone,
17 Keep 'em flyin'.