“Grr! Argh!” A plastic T-Rex makes its feelings known in concise fashion.
“Argh! Grr!” A plastic stegosaurus responds in kind.
Wash sits at his chair on the bridge, wearing a customary Hawaiian shirt, barely disguising his glee as he controls the dinosaurs.
T-Rex: “Grr! Grr! Raaargh!”
Stegosaurus: “Stay back! You will never defeat me! I have a black belt in defensive growling!”
T-Rex: “Then where is this belt of yours?”
Stegosaurus: “It's...more of a figure of speech. But I'm really good at it! Argh! Grr! Argh! Etc.!”
T-Rex: “Haha, well, I am the Alpha Dino! None stand against me! I shall kill you all!”
Stegosaurus: “No, please don't kill us all...”
The stegosaurus looks around. No other dinosaurs.
Stegosaurus: “Me all? Please don't kill me all? All the me? Please don't kill all the me? Any of me? Please don't kill any of me!”
T-Rex: “Pah! Enough of your pathetic grammatical quibbling! Now die!”
Stegosaurus: “But why?”
T-Rex: (taken aback) “What?!”
Stegosaurus: “Why do we have to kill each other? Why can't we just be friends?”
The T-Rex suddenly stares off into space, struck by a thought that had never occurred to him before.
A long beat.
T-Rex: “Quiet! I'm having an existential dilemma here!”
Stegosaurus: (quietly) “Okay...”
Another long beat, as the T-Rex ponders.
T-Rex: “You're right! My psychopathic nature has lapsed! Let's be friends!”
Stegosaurus: “Yay! Dino dance party!”
The dinosaurs high-five, and dance around the radar screen oasis and palm trees.
Zoe: “Am I interrupting anything?”
Wash jumps, sending the dinosaurs and palm trees scattering across the room.
Zoe stands at the entrance to the bridge.
Wash fidgets nervously in his chair, trying to look casual.
Wash: “What? No, I was just...uh...planning out the...uh... How are you?”
Zoe: “Were you playing with dinosaurs?”
Wash: “Huh? Dino-whatnows? What are those? Would I ever...? They were, uh, moving by themselves. Uh-huh. Totally by themselves. A story told by toys.”
Zoe: “Sounds like something out of science-fiction.”
Wash: “We live in a spaceship, dear.”
Zoe: “After all we've been through, you think I'd judge you for something like that.”
Zoe: “Some people juggle geese.”
Wash looks relieved.
Zoe crosses the room. Picks up the dinosaurs and palm trees. Puts them back on the console.
She picks up the T-Rex and makes it move.
T-Rex: “Reporting for duty, sir.”
Wash picks up the stegosaurus and makes that move.
Stegosaurus: “Of course, because obviously dinosaurs have rigidly defined, hierarchical, militaristic power structures...”
Zoe rolls her eyes.
Stegosaurus: “I mean...look over there! It's a sinister palm tree!”
T-Rex: “You're right. We must stop this...scourge of the land. Before it's...too late.”
Wash picks up the palm tree and makes it move.
Palm tree: “No, wait, I'm just misunderstood...”
Out through the window of the bridge and onto a wide shot of Serenity in space, as Wash and Zoe continue playing with dinosaurs.