Rachel gawked at the scribbled page resting before her on her lap. She had been trying so hard to write a song, but she couldn't seem to find a theme for a song. Mr. Schuester had said that the best songs develop from pain, but currently there was no pain in Rachel's life. She couldn't be happier. It was her senior year and she and Finn had been dating for almost six months now. Maybe she could try writing a love song.
Rachel glanced up at the clock. She couldn't believe it was almost five thirty. She had been sitting here for almost two hours and it seemed as if everyone had left now. She closed her notebook and bent down to slip it into her bag. She was suddenly startled as a familiar face was staring at her. "Oh…hello, Jesse." She said almost as a question. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since…well since nationals."
"I miss you Rachel." He reached out and grabbed her hand.
She quickly extracted it from him. "I have a boyfriend."
"Who Finn?" He spoke Finn's name as if it were a curse. "You can do so much better than Finn."
"I love Finn." Rachel said. "He's amazing despite what you may think."
"C'mon, I would treat you so much better."
"I'll take your offer if I want eggs thrown at me." Rachel started towards the door, but Jesse grasped hold of her wrist.
"That was like two years ago." He raised his eyebrows as she turned to face him again.
"You still hurt me, Jesse. And I don't have feelings for you." Rachel started for the door again, but Jesse abruptly jumped in front of her and planted his lips on hers. She quickly pulled away, stumbling backwards. "What are you doing?"
"You can't tell me that didn't mean anything to you." Jesse said, roughly grabbing her arms.
"It didn't. You're hurting me." Rachel exclaimed, burrowing her eyebrows at him. "I need to leave."
"Not till you admit that you love me."
"But I don't, Jesse. I love Finn and I always have. Even when we were going out I had feelings for Finn."
"Finn, Finn, Finn! Get over him!" He tightened the grip on her arms.
"He's my boyfriend." Rachel scoffed. "Please let me go."
"But it should be me!" He shook her aggressively.
"Jesse, stop!" Rachel cried nervously. She had never seen him like this. She knew he was obsessive and almost possessive, but she had never seen him violent, other than with Finn at junior prom.
He brusquely attacked her lips with his. She attempted to pull away, but he grasped her tighter. She lifted her knee and collided it with his groin. She pushed him away from the door and placed her hand on the knob. But her grabbed her and pushed her away, causing her to fall to the ground. She scrambled to her feet and grabbed her bag. He quickly approached, but she continued to back away, afraid of his sudden violence. But soon there was no more room to move. He slammed her body against the wall and began to pull her floral dress down. She grew nervous and let out a horrified gasp. "C'mon you know you want this."
"No, Jesse. I don't." She cried, glancing at her now bare shoulder. She went to pull her sleeve back up, but he held her hand down.
"You do." He cocked an eyebrow and pulled the sleeve back down.
"Jesse, no." Rachel whispered, feeling her entire body tense as his hands slid down her body. She suddenly kicked him again, but he did not seem to react. Instead he began to unbutton his jeans. "Jesse, please don't do this to me."
"Oh please. You were asking for this." Jesse started to pull Rachel's dress off completely, but she squirmed and begun to scream. But he didn't seem to care that she didn't want this.
"Jesse, stop it! Stop!" She shrieked, hoping someone would hear her. But it was a quarter to six and it was more than likely that all of the teachers had left. He unclipped her bra and she felt her throat begin to burn from screaming. Jesse shoved her to the floor, colliding his fist with her face. She continued to fight even though she was now completely bare. But she received a stronger force in return. "Please Jesse, stop!"
But he ignored her cries and pinned her wrists above her head. She kicked and squirmed feeling tears trickle down her cheeks. Jesse covered her mouth with his swallowing her scream. Her small body began to tremble, feeling no room to breathe. She struggled to get him off her, but it was useless. He was far stronger and powerful than she was. His body was crushing hers and she could barely move the slightest bit.
She began to sob, feeling so vulnerable. She just wanted to get out of here and see Finn. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She wanted to feel his warm, comforting lips on hers.
"Please Jesse, please let me go!" She screamed, but only felt the grip tighten around her aching wrists. And she felt disgusted as she felt his bare skin on hers.
"You know how long I've been waiting for this." He grinned maliciously.
"No, no, no! Please! Get off of me! Get off!" She shrieked, but it was too late. It one swift thrust, everything was taken from her. And it was replaced with a horrific pain both physically and emotionally. "Stop! Please stop!"
But her whimpers were ignored. And finally, after what seemed like hours he pulled away from her. He pulled on his clothes, staring at her. "You better not tell anyone about this. You won't want to know what I'll do if you do tell. This will seem like heaven."
"I…" She whispered huskily.
"Nobody would believe you anyway. Besides you were asking for it, you little whore. But I had fun. Maybe we could do it again soon, slut." And with that he was gone, abandoning her in the middle of the choir room.
She waited for the footsteps to fade, before she slowly sat up. She suddenly felt the urge to vomit and her head pounded as the room began to spin. She reached for her bra and underwear and slipped them on, despite the bleeding from between her legs. She glanced around for her dress and found it across the room, slightly torn. She slowly stood up and grabbed it. She pulled it on, despite the tear. Before she knew it she was pulling her dark curls back and staring at a puddle of vomit before her.
She fell against the wall and collapsed to the floor. She drew her knees to her chest and buried her head, sobbing. She had never felt this worse in her life. Not even when Finn had broken up with her. She stood up and grabbed her bag. The room that meant so much to her. The room where she could express her feeling or perhaps escape them. The room where she felt like she belonged no longer felt like the same room. It became the room that she was robbed. The room where she lived a nightmare. Where she became a victim.
She quickly left the school and found one car in the lot. She pulled out her phone, looking at the time. She couldn't believe it was already seven thirty. Thank god her dads were on a business trip. Making up excuses would not have been fun. She slipped into her car, debating whether or not to call Finn. But she couldn't. Jesse had told her not to tell anyone. And she didn't even want to think about what he would do if she did tell.
She drove home as the same scene played in her head over and over again. She sobbed the entire drive and when she got to her house, she dragged herself in. She made her way into her room and pulled off her clothes, tossing them in the corner of her neat room. She grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom to shower. She turned the water to the hottest it would go. She stepped inside wanting the burning water to take away everything she felt. She glanced down at her legs as she noticed blood dripping down from them. She scrubbed her skin raw, but she still felt dirty and she didn't know what to do to stop the bleeding.
She scrubbed and scrubbed, leaving her skin red and angry, but not clean. Well, not that she thought anyway. The water burned her skin, but the pain felt relieving in a way. She wanted it to cleanse her skin. To numb her. She wanted nothing more than to not feel anything.
After forty minutes of scrubbing she finally gave up and hauled herself out. She quickly dried herself and wrapped the towel around her body. She grabbed a Kotex pad and headed back into her room. She threw on a pair of pajamas and laid down on her bed. She curled up, bawling. She watched as her tears rolled off her face and splashed onto her comforter. She rocked herself back and forth, wanting to sleep, but at the same time she didn't want to close her eyes. She was suddenly startled as "Mama Who Bore Me" filled the room. She glanced over to her bag where her cell phone was, but ignored it. Her entire body ached. She was exhausted, but she knew sleep would not come. Instead she just laid there, trying so hard to clear her mind.
She jumped as she heard the door open about twenty minutes later. Her heart raced in her chest, hoping Jesse had not gotten in somehow. But she relaxed as she heard the familiar voice. "Rachel?"
"One minute." She called in a low, almost husky voice. She slowly sat up and made her way to the mirror. She slowly brought her hand to the large bruise below her eye. She gently ran a finger over it, but even to the slightest touch was it tender. She softly rubbed concealer over it to hide the evidence of her deadly secret. She opened the door, forcing the slightest smile at Finn, even though it felt impossible to smile right now. But Finn could see right through the fake smile.
"Hey, are you okay? You didn't answer your phone so I got nervous and decided to stop by. But then you didn't answer the door and I really got nervous."
"I…must not have heard the door. Maybe the bell is broken." Rachel shrugged. Finn pulled her in his arms and she slightly flinched, but realized this was where she wanted to be. She felt safe in his arms. He pressed his lips against hers and slid his hands down her waist. A wince escaped from her lips as he hit her ribs where Jesse had punched her.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Finn backed away, staring at his girlfriend. Then he noticed that her pants were soaked with blood. "Rachel, you're…um bleeding."
Rachel glanced down at her pants and took a deep breath. "I have my period. Let me go change." She grabbed another pair of pajama pants and headed into the bathroom.
Finn sat down on her bed. Something was definitely wrong with her. But what? Didn't they share everything with each other? And she seemed fine earlier today. He smiled at her when she came back out in a new pair of pants. "Is everything okay? You seem kind of…blue."
"Yeah, just…my period." She sat down beside him and he gently pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. This was where she wanted to be forever.
Thanks for reading! This is just the first chapter. There is many more to come. I hope you enjoyed! I would love to know what you thought! Also any ideas? I'll see if I can work them into the story, but be patient, because I already have many chapters written. Thanks! Review!
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