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Con Man Fan Fic - InCONnito

By CaptCash

Scifi / Humor

"The Rust Belt Tour

The wheels touched down and Wray awoke with a jerk. Where was he? Cleveland? Pittsburgh? Buffalo? Did it matter? Bobbie had booked him on a 6 week “tour of the Rust Belt”. 6 weeks, 6 cons with comic store appearances in between. 5 weeks in and he was starting to feel more frayed than ususal and the plane was the first real sleep he’d gotten in all that time. 2 more cons and he could go home.

“Welcome to sunny Pittsburgh” , droned the pilot as the late February rain started. It was gonna be a long ride to the convention center. Why did his crotch feel so cold? It was then Wray realized that the passenger next to him had also fallen asleep and in the process had spilt coffee down Wray’s pants. How did he sleep through that?! Welcome to sunny Pittsburgh.

At least getting the rental car and the drive to the convention center had been uneventful. He had to admit it stung a bit that the banners hung for the Con annouced guests like Patrick Stewart, Chris Evans, and Oscar Issac with bold colors and fonts and his own name as reduced to a “also featuring”. At this point he just wanted to get into his room, change his stained pants, and take a nap before all the craziness began.

Wray had just managed to get into the hotel room and set his things down when the door flew open. In the door way stood a voice actor cum con lothario and the one of Wray’s closest friends on the con circut.

“Ha! Wray peed his pants!”, boomed Jerry Lansing. “What’s the matter did little Wray-Wray get all scared?” Jarry half-tackled half-hugged Wray the way big bothers or golden retrievers do. Crashing both of them on the bed.

“Dammit, Jerry. Get off of me. I didn’t pee my pants and IF I had peed my pants now it’s all over you.”

Jerry let up and held his hands to his nose. He took a deep breath in and considered the smell, “Eh. I’ve done weirder. ”

“Get OFF!” Wray shoved Jerry as hard as he could. The baritoned-voice actor took the hint and let Wray up.

“Aww. What’s the matter, buddy?”

“Nothing. It’s this weather. The flight. “

“…that you peed your pants.”

“I DIDN’T PEE MY PANTS, JERRY!”

“I know. Look, you were a sad sack back in Detroit. So I called in a favor with the 501st. We’re gonna get your groove back!”

“I’m not a middle-aged woman that needs to be romanced by Taye Diggs! I don’t need my groove back. I have plenty of groove! I am groove-ful!”

Jerry cocked his head and looked at Wray in a away that said, “Can you hear yourself speak?”

“OK, maybe I could use a little groove.”

A grin split Jerry’s face. “My MAN!”, Jerry near-shouted. Arms wide, he backed toward the closet, “You and I are going”, with a florish he threw open the closet door revealing a pair of Storm Trooper costumes, “incognito!”

Wray sighed to himself, “ I have a really bad feeling about this.” Then Wray realized something, “How did you get those into my hotel room closet?”

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