Broken Beginnings

Chapter 25: Day Dreams and Nightmares

Rendal POV

I am currently sitting in my room, as I have been for the last half hour trying to calm my heart beat after Alexa told me that she thinks I will be stronger when I go back to training and that I might even rival her skills! When I asked why she replied saying that I would have more strength in my arms, or rather arm, because of how much I use it now. I was shocked by the compliment to say the least and even now I still feel as if I’m flying!

Speaking of using my arms, though, I am going to get out of my wheelchair and into bed, but just as I was about to do it I heard a knock on the door. I sensed he presence of my Master and watched as the door slid open.

‘Good evening, Master.’ I smiled, somewhat dreamily.

‘Greetings my young padawan, I came to ask how your afternoon had been.’ He explained coming to sit on the edge of my bed as I turned my chair to face him.

‘I see.... It was good....’ I replied, my mind wandering back to my time with Alexa.

‘I’m glad to hear it.’ He nodded. ‘What did you get up to? Did you do anymore meditating?’ I nodded lazily. ‘Good, and did you get to.....’

I zoned out of the conversation as thoughts of a certain padawan danced through my mind. Seeing her eyes, her smile, watching the way her cloak billows behind her when she walks or runs anywhere and then my memories of seeing her face without her hood.... I don’t think I will ever forget that....

‘Rendal?’ Obi Wan’s voice shook me from my day dream.

‘S-Sorry Master.’ I shook my head to clear it.

’That’s alright, but tell me what did you do this afternoon?′

‘Well....’ I trailed off as once again images of my afternoon with Alexa flashed through my head and I still got a warm tingly feeling when I saw her cute smile in my mind.

However I knew that I had to try and push such thoughts away, if Obi Wan sensed that he was thinking about her he might say something.... Though what is there to say? We’re friends, but I can’t help thinking that their might be something more between us in the future....

‘I sense that your mind is else where tonight, my young apprentice.’ Obi Wan regained my attention.

‘I’m just a little tired.’ I sighed, half lying.

‘I understand.... But it does make me curious as to why you are keeping your thoughts so closely guarded.’ He raised a brow.

‘I.... Uh.... I didn’t realise I was.’

I winced internally at how bad my response was, as if he wasn’t already suspicious enough!

‘You know, Rendal, if there’s something on your mind don’t be afraid to tell me.’

‘Thank you and I know, but there’s nothing bothering me.’

‘Very well, I will leave you to sleep.... But first, would you like a hand into bed?’ He offered kindly.

‘Thank you, but no thank you, Master. I am trying to build up strength in the two limbs that I can still use.’

‘Alright, goodnight my apprentice.’ He said getting up and opening the door.

‘Goodnight, Master.’ I nodded watching him go out.

This is going to make things difficult, how am I supposed to keep focused when all that’s ever on my mind is Alexa and why am I almost constantly thinking about her?!

Alexa POV

I decided to do a little meditation to calm my mind before going to bed tonight....

Ha! Rendal must be rubbing off on me.

I mused as I sat cross-legged on the floor with my eyes closed, making sure to keep my breathing steady and just allow myself to be completely open with the Force, letting it fill me up. I smiled inwardly as the rush of things that had been circulating in my head slowly came to a stop and I felt a sense of tranquility roll over me. Then once I became tired I stopped and got into bed.

I am now warmly “tucked up” in the comfort of my bed and I am more than ready to go to sleep. However as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep I start having that same strange dream with that voice which is as soft as silk in my head....

That song that had now become stuck in my memory played over in my mind and I knew every word.... It was almost like magic the way it helped me become at peace with the world, it’s a shame it didn’t last....

I have been having this same dream all week and at first it starts out well, with that song and those words that are almost whispered in my ear, but then nightmares take over.... I toss and turn as I feel the pain of punches, the burning and jolting sensation of being electrocuted and the sting of a whip on my back.... But that’s not the worst bit.

Oh no. The sounds that I hear are worse. The screams and cries of the slaves I lived with, the sound of Jabba’s haunting laugh, the electric sizzle of the magnaguards staffs, cracking whips, those people on Shili when they were tortured! And.... Rendal.

Ever since I had first heard him in my dream on Shili I had never been able to forget it, it was just as haunting and it made my heart race just as fast now as it had when I knew he was in trouble. Flashes of him strapped to that metal table screaming in agony flashed through my head, his limbs thrashing and struggling against his bonds, his mouth and eyes wide open in terror and the droid mercilessly caused his arm to snap.... His bruised and broken body lying their trembling as I walked in and found him....

That was what did it.

I woke up screaming and wailing, my head thrashing from side to side trying to force away the images, but they just kept coming! Blood, bruises and battle droids! Screaming, crying, sobbing.... Pain everywhere!

I didn’t hear the doors usual hiss as it opened, but I soon felt big strong arms curl around me and I snuggled into my Masters chest, my tears soaking into his pyjama shirt. However, despite his comforting embrace I just couldn’t stop myself from crying my eyes out!

‘Oh Anakin, I-I.....’ I struggled to get the words out.

‘Hush Alexa.... It’s alright, I’m here.... Nothing can hurt you....’

‘Those screams.... They....’ I trailed off hearing the echo in my head as another image flashed in my mind for a split-second. ‘Anakin.... I saw Rendal!’

‘What?’ He asked rather shocked.

‘I-I saw him.... He was in pain.... They were torturing him!’

‘Alexa, it’s alright, Rendal is fine, I promise.’ I shook my head, my tears splattering everywhere.

‘No! I saw him, I could hear his screams!’

‘Lexa.... It’s ok, it was just a dream....’

‘But I saw him!’

Anakin POV

I had been sleeping peacefully when I heard a blood curdling scream! My heart stopped as my eyes shot open and I bolted up in bed! I had only heard that sound a few times in my life and I had hoped I wouldn’t have to hear it again for a long time, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. Within seconds I raced out the door and straight down the corridor, using the Force to open the metal door and flew into my padawan’s room.

Inside Alexa was holding her head, shaking wildly as wails came loudly from her open mouth! I went over to the girl and gently wrapped my arms around her, her whole body shook as the sobs wracked it heavily and as she cried there was a rawness to it, like the pain she was feeling was still an open wound. Few of the sobs were stifled at first, but overcome by the wave of her emotions she broke down entirely, all her defences were washed away in those salty tears.

For a moment I thought that after this, she would trust her with her vulnerability and tell me what had brought her this terror in the night, the way she had months ago after the attack on her by the bounty hunter, but somehow I knew she wouldn’t. No. The shutters would come down, his emotion walled off behind a mask of coping and she would just wear it until everything was right again, but then again she didn’t know another way.

I felt her nuzzle her head into my chest and her tears splash onto my shirt, I knew it would be completely soaked by the time she was alright, but I didn’t care. Instead I just focused on trying to steady her and get her breathing back to normal because right now she was gasping for air, but despite this she still tried to speak.

‘Oh Anakin, I-I.....’

‘Hush Alexa.... It’s alright, I’m here.... Nothing can hurt you....’ I soothed.

‘Those screams.... They....’ She trailed off before continuing. ‘Anakin.... I saw Rendal!’

‘What?’ I asked confused.

‘I-I saw him.... He was in pain.... They were torturing him!’

‘Alexa, it’s alright, Rendal is fine, I promise.’ She shook her head.

‘No! I saw him, I could hear his screams!’ She insisted.

‘Lexa.... It’s ok, it was just a dream....’

‘But I saw him!’

It was then that I had an idea, the only way she would realise that all she had seen was nothing more than a dream would be to bring Rendal in to see her.

‘Alright Alexa.... Shh....’ I began rocking her back and forth, then once she had calmed down a little I managed to call Obi Wan on his comlink and get him to bring Rendal here to the girls room.

Rendal POV

I was woken in the middle of the night by a nock on my door, I grumbled, who in their right mind was up this late and what did they want me for?

‘Wo is it?’ I asked groggily.

‘I’m sorry about this Rendal, but it’s Master Kenobi, may I come in?’

‘Y-Yes Master.’ I mumbled and the door hissed open. ‘What is it, Master?’

‘It’s Alexa, she’s had a nightmare about when you were tortured and she’s very upset. Anakin seems to think that if you-’

‘I’m on my way.’ I stated pushing myself up and getting into my wheelchair, all of my tiredness gone upon hearing that my friend needed me and Obi Wan wheeled me to her room.

Once we got there I was shocked by the sight before me; Master Skywalker was cuddling Alexa against him and she was sobbing quietly into his shoulder as they rocked backwards and forwards. Never in the world would I have expected to see this, but now that I am I wish I wasn’t. Seeing her so vulnerable made my heart brake in two and I wanted so badly to take Anakin’s place and hold her.

‘A-Alexa?’ I whispered her name softly so that she looked over her Masters shoulder and saw me.

‘Rendal?!’ Her face brightened immediately. Master Skywalker then gently let go of her and moved aside so that I could come forward to talk to her.

‘Hi Alexa.’ I gave her a small smile and she surged forward to hug me!

‘B-But I saw them torturing you..... They.... I heard your screams....’

I winced as I realised what she had been dreaming about and I took in her face as she blinked briny tears from bloodshot eyes, her thick lashes stuck together in clumps as if she’d been swimming. The tears made wet tracks down her face and dripped from her wobbling chin. Clear watery snot streaked from her flaring nostrils down her orange skin to her open quivering lips.

‘Oh Alexa, it was only a dream... I’m fine, really.’ I assured her, hugging her back.

I have no idea how long we stayed like that before we broke apart, but it didn’t feel long enough. I wanted to hold her forever and it must have been that simple fact that made me so reluctant to let go of her. However I saw a look of surprise on her face as she looked around and I realised what was up: both our Masters had left the room. I smiled, it would seem we were so busy that we didn’t even sense them leave or heard the door as they walked out, but I didn’t really mind.

‘Thank you.’ My heart skipped as she spoke those two words in my ear softly and I smiled at her.

‘You’re welcome.’


So guys what did you think of that? I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!

May The Force Be With You!

~ Lexa

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