I woke up, screaming as horrible visions filled my brain. Panting, I turned over to see my brother, Sodapop, who was wide awake and sitting up. Shoot, I wouldn't have been surprised If I woke Darry and the others up too. Two-Bit was sleeping on the sofa, while Steve was rocking in the chair beside him. The group always made me laugh, and I was glad because the last few months were a depressing time for all of us. We had lost two of our best friends in brutal accidents, most of them having to do with the socs. Socs were mean and cruel, the ones that jumped us. Greasers never really did anything to Socs, except we fight one another. For a second I wondered where my lost gang members were, then I remembered. Dally's triumphant look on his face as he died. Johnny's last words. Stay gold. That's what he had said. I shook my head, Scared and confused. Why had Johnny wasted his last breaths on me? I surely couldn't be that important. I trembled a bit, and I felt Soda move closer to me. His arm went around me and made me feel safe and secure.
"Hey, Ponyboy, what's wrong? You have a nightmare again?" His gaze only shown with kindness and love for me. I never had to feel scared around Darry or Sodapop. We were all we had now. I nodded and didn't look him in the eye as I stared at the ground.
Once Johnny and Dally died, the nightmares came back. The ones I couldn't explain. I would often have visions of pools of blood along with gunshots and Johnny's screaming face as the church fell on him. I couldn't stand it anymore. The pain. The depression. I felt as if I was falling into a deep hole and I could never escape. I felt wet tears on my face, and they dripped on Soda's large arm that he was holding me firmly in. I felt him shift beside me.
"It's not just you, Pony. We all miss them." I saw a tear slip down Soda's cheek, and I turned away. I didn't like it when my brother cried. Sometimes, when a Greeser cries, it means they aren't Tuff, don't look as manly as they did before. It's a stupid rule I know, but I don't try to cry much, at least not when I'm out in public. I took a shaky breath.
"I know." I pulled the blanket over me, as it had been thrown off me as I launched away from my nightmare. I silently prayed Soda wouldn't say any more. For once, I didn't feel like talking, not even to him. He seemed to get the message through because I heard him sniffle once, then lay down beside me again. I hid my head into my pillow, thinking hard. First, It was Mom and Dad, Now It had to be Johnny and Dally. With how things were going, I bet I will be all alone in the next few months. No, think positive. I thought to myself. Soda would never leave me, and I don't think Darry could bring himself to.
I had a lot of people who still loved me, I had to stay strong. The last year may have taken several lives that were very important to the gang, but we wouldn't lay down and cry. We were greasers!
I fell back to sleep, my breath slowing as I stared at my wall until it blurred and my eyes closed.
I woke up late. I could smell eggs being baked and loud laughs and cheers could be heard from the Family Den. I realized with a jolt of excitement, it was the weekend and I could finally have some time to myself! I hopped out of the bed me and Soda shared, quickly throwing on some clothes. It's not like I have anyone I'm seeing today anyway. I walked out of the bedroom, into the kitchen where the gang was chatting in a large group, talking about the time Steve had heald off four guys with a pop bottle. I shook my head and grabbed an egg, hard, because that's the way I like them. I ate it quickly, not wanting any questions from Darry about where I was going and when I would be back. I was about to step out of the house when a firm hand touched my back. I looked behind me, and I saw Darry with a glare plastered on his face. I could never seem to get away from him.
"Where are you going, Pony?" He asked, suspicion in his voice. Soda may have not asked us to argue, but we still did it behind his back. After all, we were too different to get along all the time.
"I was just going to the lot. I need to think about things." I replied, my voice shaking a little. I hadn't been there from when Johnny passed. But I needed to spend some time with Johnny, and as silly as it was, I thought his spirit would be there. Darry didn't question me though, he took his hand off my shoulder and ruffled my hair.
"Alright, Kid, be back in an hour." I heard his footsteps fade, and I smiled. Like I said before, me and Darry still fight, but at least not as much as we used to.
I turned away, heading for the lot, my head spilling with nervousness, and my stomach filled with butterflies. I didn't know how I would react when I went to me and Johnny's traditional meeting spot, but I knew that I would feel closer to Johnny, knowing he had once set foot here.
I sat down, my back pressed against a tree, listening to the sound of birds chirping. I thought I heard footsteps, but when I turned around I saw nobody there. I shrugged and turned back to face the lot, looking at the huge stack of newspapers. I wondered if they were the same that Johnny used to sleep in every night. I crawled into the pile and felt emotion rush over me. I miss you, Johnny. So much. I jumped as I heard a motion to the side of me.