Sorry
He stared out the window of his bedroom. He hadn't moved out of the dorms like everyone else, so his half of the room was still sitting undisturbed, allowing his trophies to take up space, his red beanie sitting on the dresser allowing his shoulder length brown hair to fall around his sharp features, as his dark eyes concentrated on the clouds outside. He wore a plain blue t-shirt with sweatpants, knowing he'd spend his day inside, he hadn't been leaving his room except for practice and classes, not that anyone seemed to notice. His friends had been increasingly busy since they opened the barrier, but that couldn't be helped, they had lives outside of him. Mal and Ben were planning their wedding, Evie and Doug had started looking for places together, and Carlos and Jane had finally started going on actual dates, not just sitting in the library next to each other. Evie had been kind enough to offer the boys a room in her cottage, but Carlos was the only one to take her up on it. Their happiness was all he could ask for after everything they'd gone through. Sure he missed them, but his feelings hadn't meant anything on the Isle, why would they now?
As he continued to fall further and further into his head, allowing the dark thoughts to consume him, he didn't hear the knock, nor did he hear as the door creaked open.
"Aww Jay, why the long face?" A high pitched, Scottish accent rang through the room, his tone as condescending as every time they talked to each other. Jay however still hadn't come out of his head, falling deeper and deeper. Staring outside without seeing. This got the young man's attention.
"Jay, it's me." He said moving further into the room, kicking the leather vest, Jay was famous for, as it laid on the floor in a heap. "Hey, I'm going to come closer." He cautioned, carefully setting his hook on the perfectly made bed, noting that Carlos still had a dog bed situated on his bed, even if he and the animal never actually slept there. "Jay, it's Harry." He said, now standing next to the brown haired boy. It was scary how skinny and frail he looked, his normally expressive eyes were a flat dark color. If it weren't for his chest rising and falling Harry would have thought the younger was dead. The pirate had seen Jay like this several times over the years and knew that the only thing he could do was wait him out. So he grabbed a book off the floor, making himself comfortable on the window seat next to the silent male.
Hours passed, Harry getting through the entire book before Jay began to move. At first it was a twitch of his eyebrow, but then it grew to his lips tugging downward, his fingers curling and uncurling, him shifting towards the source of warmth next to him, then finally Jay surfaced. He always felt blissfully numb after these episodes of his, he really had no idea what to call them. He just knew they had started when he was a child and didn't think they wouldd follow him here.
Without looking at the person next to him, he fell into their sturdy chest, breathing in the saltiness of the ocean, the oil used for a large ship, and something distinctly Harry. The scent was something he had grown to hate, but right now all he wanted was to become one with the man.
He didn't even say anything, not able to grab a single thought, but as soon as long thin fingers began running through his hair, occasionally tracing his neck and back, he felt safe. A sensation he hadn't associated with the male in years.
"You were gone a long time, I was starting to get worried." Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "Are you okay with me moving us to the bed, or would you prefer to stay here?" He asked, his tone so gentle and so caring, Jay felt his eyes water. Sobs ripping out of him painfully, as if they were trying to break him open. "Oh, dove." He said, wrapping his arms tighter around Jay's shaking shoulders not commenting or shushing, just existing with him as he let all his pent up feelings out.
Harry had always been so good to him after his episodes, he knew exactly how to handle the fragile mess the VK became. There were days when Harry was the only thing that could pull him back to the surface after his father locked him in the cupboard and left him for hours (or days depending on the villian's mood). After their fall out the poor boy had to navigate his mind on his own, which meant he unfortunately became angry, mostly at himself, and took out that anger in unhealthy ways. Ever since arriving in Auradon he'd been doing better, Tourney and fencing keeping his anger in check while studying and reading had become a way for him to escape into someone else's world for a bit.
"You still with me?" Harry asked, pulling the younger from his thoughts. They'd perfected non-verbal answers, finding that Jay would spiral again if forced to express himself too soon. Tapping the hand Harry had around his waist once, he sank further into the warmth the pirate offered, the sweat on his skin causing him to shiver. "I'm going to move, just to grab a blanket. I won't be gone long." The elder of the two said, not moving until he got some kind of response. The immediate tightening of Jay's hands along with the frantic breathing told him he was right to wait. "Alright, dove, I'm not going anywhere. Its alright. We can stay here, I'm just worried you're going to be cold." He whispered, pressing another kiss to the crown of his head. So they sat there, staring out the window, Harry asking him the occasional question. It was nice, the feeling of love he was being given, something he hadn't received in years.
"I miss you." Jay croaked, his voice tiny and broken as he confessed.
"And I you. But it's not the same. I'm with Uma and you're with Mal. Even if they've begun patching things up, it would never work." Harry replied, his voice just as small and just as broken.
"Why are you here?" Jay asked, forcing himself away, sitting up and moving back to the wall, pulling his legs against his chest using it as a way to protect himself. "Why do you care?"
The older could only sigh, his heart breaking at the thought of leaving. "Because, I promised you, after the first day I met you, I would be there when I could." He watched as the guarded expression grew stronger, watched as the walls that Jay only used around strangers became stronger. "Love. That's why I care. I love you."
Jay took in a shuddering breath, his mouth ready with a reply. However, his response was cut off as Mal came storming in the room. Both males looked away from each other, wiping at their eyes before Harry stood up, and walked away, like he'd done so many times before.
