Sitting high up in an empty building, I could hear footsteps echoing on the concrete floor. I sighed annoyed at the constant nagging. “I told you once, don’t make me say it again. I’m staying, Uriah-”
My sentence fell apart as I stared directly into Tobias calm eyes. I leaned back on the wall and said, “Don’t tell me he made you come here to talk-”
“Sense into. Yes. But he didn’t ask for my help.” He looked out toward the unknown wall and said, “Uriah is right. The city isn’t safe for you. With your mother on trial and everyone knowing your biological connection, it just doesn’t look good for your safety.”
“And you think this unknown place that had put everyone, including us through an experiment sound’s any better?” I retaliated irritated. “For all you know, it could be another shit show waiting to happen.”
“And maybe, we’ll be able to be with our own kind that understands us and won’t judge us. Isn’t worth to find out?” He asked back.
“Would you ever leave Tris behind?”
That stopped him dead in his tracks and I stood up and walked to the glassless window. “Exactly,” I replied when I turned to the crane and started to climb up the metal bars. I knew Four would be too afraid of the heights to follow.
“Kinder!” Four commanded my name, but I wasn’t going back down. I wasn’t going to leave Zeke while still under recovery.
The feeling of vibration under my extremities made me glance down in surprise when I realized Four was climbing up the posts. Was he mad?
Climbing up higher and higher, I was panting as I stood at the top. Unbelievable enough, Four stood next to me again clinging on the bars for dear life. His darting eyes of slight panic danced around and I asked confused by his determination, “Why are you following me? You hate heights.”
“Because this is important.” His eyes finally landed on me and I watched his muscles relax. “You’re my friend and I want to make sure you’ll be safe.”
“Look Four, I appreciate the love, but I will be fine. I can handle myself,” I said hoping the clipped tone in my voice wouldn’t seep through.
“No you won’t,” his voice didn’t hold back his resentful pitch. So it was like that, eh?
With my nostrils flaring out of their control, I lashed out, “Oh my god, I’m not your responsibility!” My head suddenly felt off when thinking this felt familiar. Like a strong case of dejavu and it was freaking me out. Did we every have a fight like this before?
“Kin are you okay?” Tobias voice finally broke my thoughts and I shook my confused head.
I need to stay on track. I responded as I tried to slow down my racing heart rate. “Why does this bother you so much?”
As if Four had forgotten the height, he started to talk with his hand and lost his balance. Quickly, I steadied his hips and watched him take a big gulp.
“Damn do I hate heights,” he muttered under his breath when holding the railings beside my head like a stiff gargoyle. The once powerful Four had now disappeared.
Instead the man, I found more interesting and that could open up to me, stared deeply into my hazel eyes. Tobias said, “I care for you. I let you into a part of my world I’ve only shared with Tris in my fears.” He sighed looking worn, “But you see no matter how much I try to hid it, Tris will never understand it completely. Not like you….” His words trailed off knowing what he meant. We had both been abused.
His deep blue eyes finally leveled to my height and he grasped my hand, “It’s strange, but you know how to read me like we’ve know each other for years. And that’s what I need when I feel like I’m about to lose myself. I need that friend.” His lips slightly smirk as Tobias added, “Us broken pieces need to stick together.”
“I really hate you,” I mumbled as I looked anywhere, but at him.
“Is that a yes you’ll go?” Tobias asked softly.
My insides were cringing. Don’t go. Don’t leave Zeke. But I barely responded, “If that’s what you both want then.”
I felt gentle burning finger touch across my cold wind burn cheek and I glanced back. “Please don’t cry. We both just want you to be safe.”
Nodding my head I could understand. “I know.”
“I can’t believe Tori is gone,” I heard Tris whisper horrified as she sat on a couch cuddling Four. He rubbed her back comforting, but like he said before I somehow could read him like a book.
His muscles were tensed up, lips slightly pressed firm together and those ones soft dark baby blues were guarded to show the truth.
Only a few glances reveal his feeling of shame and unworthiness to being with Tris Prior, a pure divergent. She had been offered a job for the Bureau and accepted it without a thought.
As for Tobias, he was struggling being called defected. Another insult to his self-esteem after so many years of verbal abuse. He was labeled flawed. I guess there goes his theory of not being judged.
His eyes moved over to me and I shifted quickly to the ground afraid he read me next. Deep down, I saw him quite the opposite. Tobias was brave, strong, and a good hearted man. He held more beauty inside than most of the people I met at this place so far. And I couldn’t imagine what they would even think of Zeke, let alone.
“I can’t believe it either,” Tobias responded quietly.
Uriah bumped my side and turning my blonde head, I heard him asked quietly to me, “Why did you turn it down the position?” I don’t trust them, my mind lashed out.
I gave a firm smile and whispered back, “It’s really simple. I didn’t want it.” Giving a big sigh, I asked louder to everyone, “How long do we have to stay here?”
Finally I said it. Everyone’s eyes glanced at me and I suddenly felt out of place. “You like it here?”
Tris nodded her head, “I do. The Bureau of Genetic Welfare is trying to stop the violence in Chicago. I’m willing to pick up where my mother left off.”
I glanced over to Uriah, who shrugged his shoulders, “It’s better than going back to Evelyn’s reign.”
Sucking the disappointed air, I stood to walk away. “I need some air. Excuse me.” My teeth couldn’t keep from clenching and my insides where about to erupt. I knew deep down this place must have some secrets and I was going to find out one way or another.
Taking a sharp left I made my way to the outside of the building and wandered the grounds. I remembered faintly, Tobias had walked into this direction with Nina.
My stomach twist at the thought of my mother’s assistant. Making headway over crumbled walls, I peeked over the top to notice people wandering around. They looked like factionless I had once feed, but the only difference was high walls with barbwire containing them. Guards blocked the entrances as if they were a danger.
“This is a genetic damage camp,” I heard Tobias whisper in my ear.
Turning away from the sight, I tried to hold my tears back. It finally made sense. Why they wanted to recruit me a prime specimen of divergent. They were separating people by good or bad genes. I could literally throw up because their point of view was just the extreme opposite of Jeanine. Would this madness ever stop?
“Nina,” I shot my eyes over to Tobias as he said, “has a plan to stop all of this.”
“And what is this genius plan of hers?” I said not holding back my anger.
Tobias ignored my tone, knowing my feelings on her the day I tried beating the crap out of her. She had been in the control room in charge of my sister’s death. “She wants to steal the guarded memory serum so David and the Bureau can’t use it to reset the memories of everyone in Chicago.”
“They’re what?” I asked confused.
Four moved closer to me, “We have to stop them before it’s too late.”
Again I was cut into pieces.
My abnegation side agreed that the Bureau would do this bad plan and I had to do whatever it took to save them. But my erudite side couldn’t understand. Wasn’t memory serum generally from the abnegation region? Why would allegation guard something so common to get?
My brain was in overdrive as I continued to think,Unless it was something else.
Finally my gut instinct told me not to trust Nina.
“Are you in?” He asked sounding desperate and I swallowed the bile back down my throat. “No.”
His eyes opened wide and I continued to say, “Not with Nina. I don’t trust her.” I was watching his eyes become more distant with anger and I grasped his tight fist. “I really believe there is some truth to her words though. The Bureau is corrupt and has to be stopped.”
I tried prying his fingers open so I could hold his warm hand, “But not this way. She’s up to something. Why would the Bureau guard a memory serum? You could get that anywhere in abnegation. This has to be something else. Something more valuable Tobias.”
His lips were set firm and I knew he was feeling crappier with my shooting his liberating plan down. I sighed, “I’m not going to tell you what to do. I know you’re trying to set things right, but in my eyes this is the wrong path.”
Four nodded his head in understanding and I said, “I’m going to snoop around and dig for some information. Do you want to help?”
Taking a deep breath, he responded quietly, “I can’t. I have to be back at the camp before sunset. Rules are rules.”
“You’re being sent there?!” I practically yelled appalled and then I covered my mouth.
His hands grasped my shaking shoulders and Four tried to comfort me, “I’ll be okay. I get out in the morning. Tris made sure in the agreement-”
“She knows about this?” I whispered coldly.
Four started to figure out my sudden emotions and before I knew it I kicked the wall in anger. “If this was happening to Zeke, I wouldn’t even be in that building. I wouldn’t take that stupid job. How stupid is she not to see this. To see what they are doing to you? To them?? God, I be by right by your side no matter what they said. That’s what I would do because I l-” I paused in my rant suddenly to gaze up to Tobias unreadable face.
“I need to go,” I whispered softly before running away. As I reached enough distance, I collapsed to the ground with my head spinning. What was wrong with me? Had I finally lost my mind?? I loved Ezekiel. I was married to him. I would do anything for him.
Burying my head into my knees guilt riddled inside my body. But why, why did I almost say something I would have regretted.
That I loved him too.