"No. No fuckin’ way.”
"Why not, jungkook?”
It’s just another typical night in the jimin's and Jungkook's household. Yoonji (jikook's adopted daughter) was out with her friends.
Jimin’s in his bathrobe, rubbing lotion on his legs. Jungkook, on the other hand, is attempting to read a crime novel, but really it’s just serving as a retreat from the topic jimin has been trying to breach for a while.
"I read in a sex column that it’s good to try something new! Given the shit we’ve been through, I think it would only help our relationship.”
Jungkook sets his book on the end table. He had been on the same paragraph for the past five minutes. "Jimin, there’s a huge difference between trying something like roleplaying and having some strange guy fuck you right in front of me.”
"It’s called cuckolding, jungkook's. There’s more to it than that.”
"Yeah, okay. Not only would another guy fuck my husband, but my masculinity would be destroyed in the process. How could I not want to do it?”
"Would you at least consider it? Now that you’re not murdering and stealing, you’ve become even more of a bitter bastard. Try something new and unfamiliar!”
"You’re just saying that because you’re not getting the raw end of the deal.”
"Who knows, maybe if it goes well we could switch? I could be a cuckquean!”
"Wait wait wait. Remember that time we tried to have a threesome? The other girl had to get a couple of her teeth replaced. I doubt you could be a cuck queen or whatever the fuck it’s called.”
"Oh, that was so long ago!” jimin says, acting like it wasn’t only a few years ago. "I'm different now! A lot more open with things!”
Jungkook rubs his temples. "Jimin, I don’t know...”
"It would really make me happy, jungkook.” jimin wraps his arms around jungkook’s soft waist. "Please consider it. If it doesn’t go well, we won’t have to do it again.”
He sighs. “...as long as I can pick out the guy, I'm in.”
Jimin hugs him tighter and kisses his cheek. "You won’t regret this, babe.”
"I hope I won’t,” jungkook mutters as he clicks his light off for the night.
"How about that one?”
"Nah, too pretty.”
"Ahhh, too hunky.”
"Oh, come on!”
It’s mid-afternoon and they’re in front of jimin's laptop at the dinner table. Jimin had to reopen and update his dating account, but that was only after insisting to jungkook that he hadn’t touched it since they renewed their commitment to one another.
"Jimin, I don’t want to be completely upstaged by the other guy. Maybe like, half upstaged would be ideal.”
"Jungkook, on these types of sites everyone lies. Often times the photos are from ten years ago, or the dick size is increased by three inches. You have to take a lot of the profiles with a grain of salt.”
"Surprisingly, I wouldn’t know that.”
"Yeah, you’re out on street corners looking for whatever piece of ass crosses your path when it comes to cheating.”
"Not anymore, okay?” He catches himself before he says anything caustic and throws up his hands in defeat. "But you’ve made your point. How ‘bout that one?”
Jimin reads the profile jungkook picked out loud in a mock dude-bro voice. “‘Jason, 27. I'm a free spirit who enjoys surfing and hiking. I'm also packing 9 inches and can fuck all night.’ Really, jungkook?”
"What? He seems like your type!”
"I thought you didn’t want to be upstaged?”
"What, you think I’d be upstaged by some stoner Vespucci beach douchebag?”
Jimin pauses for a bit. "Yes. Yes I do.”
"What are you doing?” yoonji calls from the kitchen.
Jimin slams the laptop shut and makes his way to the other room. "Yoonji, how was day?”
She eyes her dad warily as she lifts her water bottle up to her lips. "Fine,” she takes a gulp, "What are you doing on the laptop?”
“--I heard something about ‘fucking all night’ and ‘packing 9 inches.’ What the fuck, dad? Did you open up your dating account again?”
Jimin tries to play off Tracey’s question with a scoff. "I never even had one in the first place.”
Yoonji cracks up at that. "Okay, foxymama21 , whatever you say.”
Jungkook steps into the kitchen, trying to be casual but failing completely. "Hey, yoonji, how’s it going? Your dad and I were--”
Yoonji scrunches up her face. "You guys were looking at a cheating site together ?! Gross! Both of you! At least be more secretive about it!” She storms up to her room, saying "Ew, ew, ew!” the whole way.
"You’ll understand when you’re older, sweetie!” jungkook calls out. He looks over at jimin.
"Let’s do this later." Jimin says after they hear Tracey let out one more "EW!” before slamming her door shut.