Mother always told me never fancy someone who won’t spend their time on you.
And not once have I betrayed mother’s words, now I have.
I can’t believe I’m writing about you, and I hate to admit that I like you. Unfortunately due to your terrible reputation, I cannot speak of you to my friends, for if I do, they will not hesitate to call me filthy or absurd. So here I am, writing it in a book, on a piece of parchment, like Tom Riddle.
And especially since I’m a fellow mudblood, telling my friends would be a disaster. Yes, there’s no magical powers that run in my blood, I simply have been chosen out of the blue which is obviously to you pure bloods; disgusting. You clearly have no respect for us and you say mudblood as if it’s a slur, but to me it’s just a word. For example you call half bloods, blood traitors just because they chose to marry someone that was a fellow muggle. Many people are hurt by such words but to me I see it as a form of not being content with yourself, if they chose to “mess up” their bloodline for a muggle, they must really love them.
Of course it’s a weird assumption, how are you not content with yourself? You have a family, you’re obnoxiously rich, and you can pay through Hogwarts with your Golden Galleons and you have ongoing relatives that are all pure bloods. So I must say you’re privileged and you must be happy?
But no. You aren’t happy.
I see the way you look at others in the walls, push them away, and mess with people. Not the Fred and George type, the Draco Malfoy type. The type where seeing other people scared and helpless makes you happy, because you want others to feel how you feel; frightened, alone, careless, and shameful. I am ot one to say that you are any of those things but assuming won’t hurt especially since you won’t ever see this diary. Hopefully I won’t accidentally leave it in class. Either way, I hope you stop bullying other people just because they have what you don’t. You’re jealous Malfoy, and I know you can’t admit it.
I might as well say why I like you because this whole entire time I have bashed you using my beautiful, Gryffindor proud mind. Not to brag or anything but I’m sure I would fit well in Ravenclaw too. Not the point, I liked your looks at first, you looked quite nice and clean, and your smell was strong but it was so pleasant as if I could fall asleep within a few minutes. What made it even better was your faint citrus cologne. So yes it was mostly based on looks and smell, I was determined that I would be snogging you by at least third or fourth year.
But then I realized you hated us.
You hated me. You would throw ugly glares and point your wand at me whenever I talked back, you wouldn’t hesitate to tell your father; Lucius Malfoy, because you knew everyone was scared of him. Like father, like son, I guess. So why did I like you? And why do I still admire you from afar, knowing you despise me?
I ask myself the same question every time. damn. day.
Maybe it’s the way you hover your eyes onto me, and when I try to search for the warmth within your eyes, you quickly break your stare from my green ones, like you’re scared I would find it. And I know it’s there, somewhere, one day I’ll find out where Draco, I can promise you that. I am not one to make empty promises or break them, so keep my word. Besides your eyes maybe it’s your hair, I wish I could wrap my fingers around your soft, platinum colored hair, bloody hell the way you let Astoria tousle it makes my heart hurt. Why do you let her touch it, Draco? Because she’s a pureblood just like you?
I’m sorry I’m not a pureblood and I’m sorry I like you, I knew if you found out how I feel about you, you would simply spit on me for being such an arse, or a disgrace to the wizard world. And maybe that should happen, maybe it’ll make me stop liking a bitter person like you. I want you to keep on hurting me, until I give up on you, because I’m tired of liking you Draco.
I really am.
Victoria Eden Rings
things to rmbr~
this book was meant to be more analytical than descriptive, i purposely didnt want to deepen into victoria’s nor draco’s life, thats all up to your imagination :) if i did it would really take away the reason why i wrote this, it was meant to be short.
there are no dates, these letters are from victoria’s point of view, you do not know what happens outside of the letters.