I feel numb. I’m sitting up in the clock tower, alone. Leaning my back against the cold stone, I look over the balcony, watching all of my other students laughing and playing in the snow. Pulling my legs up to my chest to warm myself from the cold chill, I move my gaze up towards the evening sky.
It was beautiful, the sun setting over the horizon, painting the sky with bright colours of pink and orange, but I couldn’t enjoy it. I came up here so I could take myself away from everyone, I’m sure the whole school now knows about my incident in class. My dad has gone away to talk to Dumbledore, I don’t think I will be coming across a boggart anytime soon.
Dropping my head between my folded arms, I close my eyes for a moment as I feel tears pricking the back of my eyes, I didn’t want to cry, my dad is alive, and safe. I didn’t want to cry over something that hasn’t even happened, but the sight of it being played out in front of me, it tore my heart in half. It truly is my worst fear.
After some time, I could hear faint footsteps, instantly thinking it was either my dad or Hermione, I hear the faint whispers of two boys. As the reach the top floor where I sit, the footsteps come to a stop next to me. Lifting my head, I meet eyes with Fred and George, who are looking down at me with soft smiles.
“Hey guys.” I say, my voice faint and croaky. I lean my head back on the stone windowsill, waiting for them to say something.
“Hermione told us what happened.” George broke the silence, sitting in front of me, leaning his head on my pulled up knees. I nod slowly at him, I knew they would already know.
“She said you wanted time for yourself, but we thought that was rubbish-- so we came to find you.” Fred says while sliding his back down the wall, sitting down next to me.
Tears well up in my eyes, falling down my blotchy cheeks. George scoots over and to sit next to me, he takes his hand and wipes away my tears. Both boys have wonderfully warm hands, it’s comforting. I didn’t realise how cold I was until the Weasley twins were sat next to me.
“Has this happened before, Phoenix?” George asks me.
“Yeah-- Hermione said your face dropped as the boggart changed back into Snape.” Fred adds. I let out a sigh, while fiddling with my fingers, I try to find the words to explain my reoccurring nightmares.
“I constantly had this same nightmare-- it happened most nights, when I was younger. It would terrify me, and I knew it worried my dad too. As I got older, I didn’t have it as much, but the same thing would happen, and it would cause the same reaction.” I wipe away my stray tear as it falls down my cheek. “It felt so real, like I had actually lost him. I’d fall into a depressive state-- unable to move myself out of it. All I think of is how I’ve not made him proud.”
Fred and George’s brows furrow as I speak. “Phoenix, I’m sure you make him proud everyday.” Fred says, wrapping his arm over my shoulder.
“How? I’m a Morphmagus, and I haven’t even been able to develop my powers... it’s embarrassing.” I wipe my eyes again. “I only have these stupid eyes, that change colour when I am feeling something... it’s so fucking embarrassing.” I begin to rub my fingers harder into my eyes, desperate for another colour to show through-- desperate to push away this feeling of nothingness.
“Phoenix, stop.” Fred says, taking my hands away from my face. The runs his fingers along my knuckles. “Look, you can’t change who you are--”
“Yeah, no one want’s you to change anyway.” George adds.
“But what matters is-- your dad hasn’t gone anywhere, he is still here.” Fred tilts his head, so his eyes meet mine. “And you are extraordinary, powers or no powers.” His words manage to pull a smile up on my lips. Looking up at George, who is nodding in agreement, I let out a weak giggle and shake my head.
“There she is.” George smiles widely. “Now come along, everyone wants to see you.” George says while slapping his legs, lifting himself off the floor. Fred follows him, and both boys hold out a hand each for me to grab. Taking their hands, they help me up from the floor.
As I stand, Fred wraps me up in a tight hug. I could feel George snake behind me, hugging me from behind. I feel safe, their warmth wrapping around me. I close my eyes and savour this moment, hearing both their heartbeats.
Walking down the steps of the clock tower, Fred and George have their arms draped over my shoulders, engulfing me between their large bodies. I look like a tiny elf against the two 6′3 boys. The both chat amongst each other as I listen; usually I only had my father with me if I had one of my night terrors, but these boys are making me feel so much better already. I still can’t push the darkness away completely, but I am feeling brighter as the boys laugh and joke.
As we walk down the hall, the corridors are sparse, and the smell of roast beef hits my nose, telling me it’s dinner time. My stomach rumbles and my mouth waters in appreciation-- I didn’t realise how hungry I was.
“Hungry are we Phoenix?” George points out, laughing.
“I’m starving as well!” Fred groans, rubbing his stomach. I let out a giggle, watching the boys get excited for dinner, as we make our way towards the Great Hall.
A loud voice booms through the corridor, stopping me in my tracks, making the boys stop also. Furrowing my brows, I turn my head, looking back to where the voice had come from. Pansy is stood there with her annoying clan of Slytherins, including Malfoy. My blood begins to boil, my eyes narrowing at her sight. Turning around, with Fred and George still draped over my shoulders.
“Fuck sake.” I say lowly, making George snicker.
“Oi-- shove off Parkinson, did you not learn the first time Phoenix fucked your face up?” Fred shouts over to them, making Pansy’s lip curl up into a snarl.
George laughs, “Made her face better more like.” He whispers in my ear, I smirk and shake my head.
“Oh, I just wanted to see how she was, that’s all.” Pansy says sarcastically, glaring at me with dark eyes. “I mean, having a break down in the middle of class-- how embarrassing.” she scoffs.
I feel my eyes burn. It’s the first thing I have felt in hours. Bleeding through the dark black shade is the colour that Pansy is oh so familiar with, my anger making itself known.
“How about you make yourself useful Pansy, and piss off.” I spit at her.
Fred and George start to tug me away, knowing that I would let my anger get the better of me. Going to turn away with he boys, I let out a long sigh, running a hand through my hair.
“I really wish I was there, it would have been a good show.” Pansy laughs.
Enough was enough, it felt like a switch had flipped in me, boiling me over. I whip out of Fred and George’s arms, starting to run full speed towards her. The boys try to grab at my cloak, but they couldn’t get their grip, only able to call after me as I bolt towards Pansy. Everything was going so quick, she was completely unaware of me running towards her until I was tackling her side, throwing us onto the floor.
I straddle Pansy over her stomach and without hesitation, I was punching her face. I could hear her screaming out, trying to grab my wrists to stop me from pounding my fists into her. She eventually manages to grab a handful of my hair, pulling my head back sharply, causing me to groan as she pulls my hair at the scalp. I grab her wrist as she tries to throw a punch towards me, managing to connect my hand with her face once more, slapping her hard. As Pansy tugs at my hair once more, I cry out once more; placing my hand over hers as she grips tightly.
My eyes shoot open wide; I suddenly feel something come over me, like a wave of emotion, but this wasn’t my feelings, even though they were similar to mine, there was something else:
Anger, rage and fear.
My breath gets forced out of my body, as this emotion comes over me. Suddenly I am pulled off Pansy by Draco. Everything had happened so quickly, Fred and George had only come over to us, breathing heavily. Draco’s arms are wrapped around my waist, pulling me back, but Pansy wouldn’t let go of my hair, I feel the pain at the root of my scalp, gritting my teeth as I fight her for my hair back.
“Pansy let go!” Draco shouts from behind me. She grips it tightly, not showing any signs of letting go.
“Baubillious.” I whisper. A surge of white sparks come from my hands and down Pansy’s arm, she let out a screech and finally releases my hair. I watch as Pansy lifts herself from the floor as Draco drags me away. She shakes her hand from the shock I gave her, her lip curled up into a snarl.
“Stay the fuck away from me Pansy!” I squirm in Draco’s grip.He let’s go of me and I storm away, walking back towards the Great Hall. Fred and George follow me closely, my hands shake from the adrenalin. I smooth my hair down from where Pansy had gripped onto it for so long.
We walk into the Great Hall in silence, the smell of roast beef and potatoes hit my nostrils once again. I look over to the Gryffindor table, and simultaneously the group turn towards us. I see their brows furrow as I stride towards them, my eyes burning red. Hermione instantly stand from the table, bringing me in for a tight embrace.
“What happened?” She says with a worried tone, pulling away from me, she scans my eyes.
“Pansy--” I tell her, rolling my eyes. She sighs and walks me over to the table, Fred and George following closely behind. As I take a seat, Fred slides in next to me.
“Phoenix, do you want to tell us what you did to her?” Fred says, I furrow my brows at him, unsure of what he meant.
“Yeah Phoenix, do you even have your wand on you?” George added, I flick my eyes between the boys. Complete confusion comes over me as I realised that I didn’t even use my wand when I cast baubillious.
“I don’t know how that happened.” I say, shaking my head. Running my finger through my hair, I also remembered the wave of feeling that had come over me when I came into contact with Pansy. “I think I could also feel her feelings--”
“What do you mean, Phoenix?” Hermione says, knitting her brows together.
“Well it was like I felt her emotion-- we were both angry, but I could feel her fear.” I flick my eyes up to the group. “It happened when I touched her hand.” I place my palm over the back of Fred’s hand, referencing the motion I had done with Pansy, but all of a sudden the same feeling of emotion came over me once again. This time it was completely different to what Pansy was feeling.
Lust, attraction, arousal.
My eyes instantly widen, causing me to slap my hand over my gaping mouth. Removing my hand from Fred’s, I turn to look at him, staring at him. He found it all arousing.
“What is it, Phoenix?” Fred says, his eyes dark.
“I don’t know-- I think I am getting what other people feel, just my the skin on skin contact.” I look down at my hands, then back up to Fred, who is staring at me with wide eyes. He blinks and removes his gaze away from me, awkwardly sipping at his drink. “I don’t understand, my powers as a Morphmagus are meant to be transformation into another being, and all I can do is feel what others are feeling.”
“Phoenix-- you’re an Empath, it’s got nothing to do with your abilities as a Morphmagus--” Hermione beams at me. “Empaths have the ability to know what others are feeling, just by a simple touch, and your use of magic without a wand is a very rare skill to have.” She places her hand over mine, allowing me to be succumb to her emotion.
Worry and compassion.
I give Hermione a warm smile, unable to comprehend my development in power. I chew on my lip and stare at the plates of food in front of me. Taking a spoon, I start scooping food onto my plate, unable to push away my hunger any longer. Flicking my eyes up at Fred again, he doesn’t meet eyes with me, just continues to look ahead.
“You ok, Freddie?” George asks, making the whole table turn towards him. Fred’s eyes grow wide, I look up at him with an evil smirk.
“Y-Yeah, all good mate.” He laughs awkwardly, turning back to fill his plate with food. Turning back to my meal, the thoughts run through my head. Morphmagus-- wandless magic-- an Empath... there was too much to take in. I fill my brain with questions that I would ask my father, he must know something about all of this.