The Insufferable Know-It-All
It was much to my relief that both Harry and I got into Gryffindor. Despite being lumbered with my annoying brothers and that bitch Hermione, it really wasn’t all bad.
Hermione Granger was such a bloody know-it-all, it irked me something rotten. Always putting her sodding hand up in class. And I swear she had her sights set on Harry. Well, he was my best friend, and I wasn’t going to let that frizzy haired cow come between us.
Unfortunately, I had to share a dormitory with her, and she kept complaining that Scabbers was nibbling her sheets. Well, no one else was complaining so I could hardly understand why she was making so much fuss. Merlin, it was just a harmless rat!
It was going to be a long seven years, that was for sure.
Lessons were cool. All except for Potions which we had to share with the stinking Slytherins. And boy, did Snape and the Slytherins hate Harry! I couldn’t help but snigger, though, when Snape refused to acknowledge Hermione’s constant outstretched arm. I mean, no one likes a show off.
Harry ended up joining the Gryffindor Quidditch team as Seeker, despite it being unheard of having a first-year play, and even though I was happy for him, I couldn’t help but feel secretly pissed off. Especially when McGonagall bought him the latest model of broomstick. And despite his sob story of how he had to sleep in a cupboard, I started to get the feeling that this boy had everything fall smoothly into his lap.
But he was famous and loaded so I kept him close.
Besides, we had a laugh.
Draco, incensed by the fact that Harry didn’t get expelled after tricking him into flying, decided to challenge him to a duel to prove who had the bigger dick.
“I’d take you on any time on my own,” he sneered after Harry goaded him about hiding behind Crabbe and Goyle. “Tonight, if you want. Wizard’s duel. Wands only - no contact. What’s the matter? Never heard of a wizard’s duel before, I suppose?”
“Of course he has,” I spat, slapping a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “I’m his second, who’s yours?”
“Crabbe,” he answered swiftly, after sizing his friends up. “Midnight. Trophy room.”
“But I don’t know what a wizard duel is!” Harry spluttered after they had left. “And what’s a second?”
“Well, a second’s there to take over when you die.” I said thickly through mouthfuls of apple pie. “But you’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure Malfoy doesn’t know enough magic to even hurt you. Probably.”
And then that Hermione bitch stuck her nose in.
“I couldn’t help overhearing what you and Malfoy were saying-”
“Bet you could,” I muttered, helping myself to more pie.
“- and you mustn’t go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you’ll lose Gryffindor if you’re caught, and you’re bound to be. It’s really very selfish of you.”
Hark at her!
“And it’s really none of your business,” Harry said.
“Goodbye.” I added.
What. A. Bitch.
Well, everything went wrong, and I fully blame Hermione Granger.
Even though it was mostly Draco Malfoy’s fault.
She actually stayed up to try and stop us from meeting Draco and Crabbe. Even threatened to tell Percy on us. But instead of fucking off like we told her to, she decided to follow us!
All the way there, she whinged in our ears about all the points we were going to lose for Gryffindor. We even had Neville come along for the ride as the dipshit had been stuck outside in the corridor having forgotten the password.
Really, these two were such losers - completely cramping our style.
But then it turned out Draco pissing Malfoy had set us up anyway. Filch was waiting for us in the trophy room.
We managed to run away in time though and ended up shutting ourselves in a room with a giant three headed dog. Still, at least it wasn’t a spider. I hate spiders.
“What do they think they’re doing,” I gasped breathlessly after we had managed to escape it and return to Gryffindor Tower. “Keeping a thing like that locked up in the school?”
“You don’t use your eyes, any of you, do you?” Hermione snapped. “Didn’t you see what it was standing on?”
“I wasn’t looking at its feet!” I bit back. “I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn’t notice there were three!”
“It was standing on a trapdoor. It’s obviously guarding something.” She said pompously.
“Guarding something?” Harry frowned, looking thoughtful.
“That’s right. Now, if you two don’t mind, I’m going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed... worse, expelled!”
And with that, she wheeled on the spot and stropped up the stairs, slamming the dormitory door behind her.
“She needs to sort out her priorities!” I muttered as Harry nodded in agreement.