Desperate times
Kageyama pov
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"What?"
The wierd girl looked back to me, I wasn't sure why, but I had wanted to comfort her. My sister says its probably cause I have 'hero syndrome.' Apparently I really want to save someone or something like that.
I never thought that way about Udai, she and I had been strangers ever since she came to karasuno, but of course I knew her from the national team. However no matter how much I'd like to learn from her, her personality always pissed me off. She was too blunt, it made conversations impossible.
Im pretty sure the only guy that can get through a conversation with her without malfunctioning is tsukishima. He and her hang out a lot. I guess after hearing the way she feels about herself I feel a little bad, but what are guys supposed to do? If she just randomly starts calling them daddy when they get mad, or calls them incels before they get a chance to compliment her. I guess it makes her insecure, but Udai is really scary.
Actually, no, intimidating, she intimidates people. Any other time than, well now, she would give off this intense aura. Some says it's sexy, others, like yachi, thinks its scary, I dont really know what to feel about it. I just know, I avoid it at all costs. Most of my team talks about her, and how jealous they are that hinata gets to hang out with her, they think she would "good in bed".
Personally, looking at her in the halls, while she walks home, and even when she plays, I dont get turned on at all. I would rather have someone who I can protect, somebody that wants me to hold them and keep them safe. She makes me feel like she wants to do that to me, and I dont need a protector. Its a turn off, if anything. As for people like tanaka, apparently confidence is sexy, and she would be like that tiktok trend "she gon fuck me like a pornstar"
"Hey?Dude? What the hell?" I snap out of my thoughts to a faint giggle from her tear dusted face.
"Ah!S-sorry."
"Were you just trying to do a hinata?" She laughs harder this time, good, at least she isnt sad.
"I-yeah..." I turn my head away from the tight gaze we both had on eachother. I needed to get away from her deep blue eyes, those were the eyes that could break people.
"Bahahaha! I tried that earlier, turns out its not as easy as he makes it seem,huh. Why did you do that? Tryna pretend your him so you can be the one with lil yachi against the wall?" She was still laughing uncontrollably.
Any other time I would have been speechless, because she was right, but she was way too comfortable with what she had just said. Intimidatingly comfortable. For some reasons though, right now I am not flustered or nervous. I look over at her laughing figure and all I see is pain. Is this maybe her way of dealing with it?
"I wasnt." I say, knowing my tone was high, and she definitely could tell I was lying.
"Oh yeah, sure, you dont just wanna punch that Orange in the face and scoop up babies blonde and get that fucking wap!Bahahah"
"St-stoppit, that gross."
"Yeah, your right, that pussy only talk hinata, no English Spanish or french...."she looks down to the ground with an exaggerated put as she quote those fucking song lyrics. Why os she so bold? This is so lewd and she doesn't even care. How come when she said that about ...Hitokas pussy..I got sad.
"Everybody's pussy talks hinata...."
"Omg what the fuck, you just got done crying about how hinata doesn't like when you act like this, and now your back?"
"Uhm...yes?" I looked her up and down in disbelief, I took in her perfect curves and sculpted thigh, from vollyball. I observe her dark, empty, blue eyes. Then her sharp jaw line, and high cheek bones. This girl was the embodiment of perfection, and yet she acted so the opposite. It feels kinda wasteful to me, she is so beautiful, but does nothing to me, or hinata. I bet thats how she feels: wasteful. Like everyone in the world wants her, except for the one guy she wants.
Kinda weird that the guy SHE wants is Hinata, but I guess it doesn't matter.
"Dont worry, I feel the same about yachi!"
"Huh?"
"I wanna be like her" now her joking pout almost felt real, but I really couldn't tell. Thats another scary thing about Udai. No one ever knows if what she acting like is real, she can look so happy and be so sad, or act angry, but not care at all. Even act turned on, even when she is completely disgusted by you, I dont know how she does it. I try to pretend all the time, and always fail.
"K-kageyama-kun...i-i I didnt mean to kiss your best friend. I-im so so sorry, please d-dont kiLl MEe!?"
I shot my head over to Udai only to see her in a timid little position on the floor, looking up at me as if afraid I would hit her. Her jaw was trembling and her body was tense, unable to move, but aching to. What the fuck?
"U-udai, what? I- calm..calm d-dow-"
"Bahahahhaha!"
"Huh?" I review her new found position, crouched over herself, laughing histerically.
"Kayegamaaaa, protectttt meeeee!!"
She wheezes, still laughing at her previous actions.
"What was that?"
"Huh? Oh...that was.. Hitoka.." she says between panting breaths.
"Did it make you feel good?" She asks me a now serious, slightly desperate face painted on. Is it real? Is she going to make another joke? This feels more real than before, but its so hard to tell. The only time I didnt question at all was when she was sat here sobbing. I think the only real things that have come out of her mouth...were the words about how much she hates herself. Fuck me, I should have just ran after yachi instead, now I'm sat her confused. If I leave that a dick move though, right? Do I even want to leave?
"It..kinda..i-"
"It did, huh?"
"Yeah..im stupid its-"
"No your not, you wanna save her, everyone does."Udai is now staring up at the sky again, its a turquoise blue, bordering on dark, we have probably been here for hours.
"What do you mean"
"Well, sir. Everbody says that confidence is sexy... and they say that to their shy, UwU girlfriends"
"Uhm, what?"
"Its redundant."
"Redundant?"
"Yeah, they are saying thry like confidence, after deliberately choosing the opposite."
"Deliberately?"
"What?"
I dont think she understood, I was asking because I didn't know what the word meant. I will not tell her, I think if I do she will leave, and I dont really want this to end. If it does, I gotta go back to the real world, where Hinata is with Yachi, and I am crying behind the gym.
"N-nothing.."
"Oh..class 1? Deliberately means on purpose, like they chose it."
"I-thanks."
"Yeah."
"I think I get it, people think you are the ideal type of girl, but then turn around and actually date the opposite."
"Yup"
"Its the same for me, I think."
"I don't really know you, but im sure girls talk about you, your hot."
I couldnt speak. She just called me hot while staring emotionless towards the empty sky. She said it like she doesn't even care, well she probably doesn't.
"Hey I have an idea!"
"What?"
"Ok turn around, count to three, and then turn back around."
"W-what are y-you gonna-"
"Dont worry, you'll like it." She didnt have nat evil grin like she was up to something, just a matter-of-fact tone and blank face. She is serious?
I stood up and turned my back to her, I could hear shuffling behind me, so I assumed she was standing now too.
1
2
3
I turned around and was met with a completely different girl. She was looking to the floor and blushing furiously, reminded me of the first time I met Yachi. She fiddled with her fingers and slowly came up to meet my taken aback face.
"K-kageyama...you..you l-look really HOT" as she said the last word she turned around so her back faced me, and brought her hands to her face, to cover her blushing cheeks. The girl in front of me was Saina Udai, but the only thing I was Hitoka. I felt a wierd feeling shoot down my body all the way to my dick. I wasnt hard, but I definitely felt turned on. Oh no. No no no no no. This is wrong. I should get turned on by Yachi. Well....it wouldn't be the first time, but this isnt even really her. Am I just that in need of being a protector.
More importantly than the feeling in my pants, why is Udai doing this right now? Why isn't she laughing yet?
I see her turn and look back up at me, blue eyes twinkling with wonder.
"How did I do?" She asks, no sense of embarassment, just curiosity.
"This is wierd"
"Yeah, I know"
"So why did you do that?"
"Maybe I wanna be like yachi too, im better at pretending than you are though."
"Yeah, you are...."
"Want me to do it again? I'm kinda scared to leave here because then everything from earlier will come back."
"No, dont!! I feel the same, though. A-about n-not going back."
"Huh, okay. Well, if theres nothing to do here than ill just go home and cry I guess. Have a nice night stranger."
She began to make her way down the small path that would lead her to the next corner of the gyms outside. I watched as her items were almost spilling out of her bag, but somehow stayed inside. I knew that I'd never see udai again, and now I had to think of how I would face my so-called bestfriend...and our manager. I wish I could just pretend udai is yachi. Then I might be able to release this, whatever it is, inside me. I know its wrong, and I'd be using her. I just didn't want to stop the feeling I got when she pretended to be Yachi.
"Wait up a second!" I started jogging towards the black haired girl.
"Huh?D-I drop something?"
"No, just...I have an idea."
"Yea..me too"
β‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘ββ‘
"What?"
The wierd girl looked back to me, I wasn't sure why, but I had wanted to comfort her. My sister says its probably cause I have 'hero syndrome.' Apparently I really want to save someone or something like that.
I never thought that way about Udai, she and I had been strangers ever since she came to karasuno, but of course I knew her from the national team. However no matter how much I'd like to learn from her, her personality always pissed me off. She was too blunt, it made conversations impossible.
Im pretty sure the only guy that can get through a conversation with her without malfunctioning is tsukishima. He and her hang out a lot. I guess after hearing the way she feels about herself I feel a little bad, but what are guys supposed to do? If she just randomly starts calling them daddy when they get mad, or calls them incels before they get a chance to compliment her. I guess it makes her insecure, but Udai is really scary.
Actually, no, intimidating, she intimidates people. Any other time than, well now, she would give off this intense aura. Some says it's sexy, others, like yachi, thinks its scary, I dont really know what to feel about it. I just know, I avoid it at all costs. Most of my team talks about her, and how jealous they are that hinata gets to hang out with her, they think she would "good in bed".
Personally, looking at her in the halls, while she walks home, and even when she plays, I dont get turned on at all. I would rather have someone who I can protect, somebody that wants me to hold them and keep them safe. She makes me feel like she wants to do that to me, and I dont need a protector. Its a turn off, if anything. As for people like tanaka, apparently confidence is sexy, and she would be like that tiktok trend "she gon fuck me like a pornstar"
"Hey?Dude? What the hell?" I snap out of my thoughts to a faint giggle from her tear dusted face.
"Ah!S-sorry."
"Were you just trying to do a hinata?" She laughs harder this time, good, at least she isnt sad.
"I-yeah..." I turn my head away from the tight gaze we both had on eachother. I needed to get away from her deep blue eyes, those were the eyes that could break people.
"Bahahaha! I tried that earlier, turns out its not as easy as he makes it seem,huh. Why did you do that? Tryna pretend your him so you can be the one with lil yachi against the wall?" She was still laughing uncontrollably.
Any other time I would have been speechless, because she was right, but she was way too comfortable with what she had just said. Intimidatingly comfortable. For some reasons though, right now I am not flustered or nervous. I look over at her laughing figure and all I see is pain. Is this maybe her way of dealing with it?
"I wasnt." I say, knowing my tone was high, and she definitely could tell I was lying.
"Oh yeah, sure, you dont just wanna punch that Orange in the face and scoop up babies blonde and get that fucking wap!Bahahah"
"St-stoppit, that gross."
"Yeah, your right, that pussy only talk hinata, no English Spanish or french...."she looks down to the ground with an exaggerated put as she quote those fucking song lyrics. Why os she so bold? This is so lewd and she doesn't even care. How come when she said that about ...Hitokas pussy..I got sad.
"Everybody's pussy talks hinata...."
"Omg what the fuck, you just got done crying about how hinata doesn't like when you act like this, and now your back?"
"Uhm...yes?" I looked her up and down in disbelief, I took in her perfect curves and sculpted thigh, from vollyball. I observe her dark, empty, blue eyes. Then her sharp jaw line, and high cheek bones. This girl was the embodiment of perfection, and yet she acted so the opposite. It feels kinda wasteful to me, she is so beautiful, but does nothing to me, or hinata. I bet thats how she feels: wasteful. Like everyone in the world wants her, except for the one guy she wants.
Kinda weird that the guy SHE wants is Hinata, but I guess it doesn't matter.
"Dont worry, I feel the same about yachi!"
"Huh?"
"I wanna be like her" now her joking pout almost felt real, but I really couldn't tell. Thats another scary thing about Udai. No one ever knows if what she acting like is real, she can look so happy and be so sad, or act angry, but not care at all. Even act turned on, even when she is completely disgusted by you, I dont know how she does it. I try to pretend all the time, and always fail.
"K-kageyama-kun...i-i I didnt mean to kiss your best friend. I-im so so sorry, please d-dont kiLl MEe!?"
I shot my head over to Udai only to see her in a timid little position on the floor, looking up at me as if afraid I would hit her. Her jaw was trembling and her body was tense, unable to move, but aching to. What the fuck?
"U-udai, what? I- calm..calm d-dow-"
"Bahahahhaha!"
"Huh?" I review her new found position, crouched over herself, laughing histerically.
"Kayegamaaaa, protectttt meeeee!!"
She wheezes, still laughing at her previous actions.
"What was that?"
"Huh? Oh...that was.. Hitoka.." she says between panting breaths.
"Did it make you feel good?" She asks me a now serious, slightly desperate face painted on. Is it real? Is she going to make another joke? This feels more real than before, but its so hard to tell. The only time I didnt question at all was when she was sat here sobbing. I think the only real things that have come out of her mouth...were the words about how much she hates herself. Fuck me, I should have just ran after yachi instead, now I'm sat her confused. If I leave that a dick move though, right? Do I even want to leave?
"It..kinda..i-"
"It did, huh?"
"Yeah..im stupid its-"
"No your not, you wanna save her, everyone does."Udai is now staring up at the sky again, its a turquoise blue, bordering on dark, we have probably been here for hours.
"What do you mean"
"Well, sir. Everbody says that confidence is sexy... and they say that to their shy, UwU girlfriends"
"Uhm, what?"
"Its redundant."
"Redundant?"
"Yeah, they are saying thry like confidence, after deliberately choosing the opposite."
"Deliberately?"
"What?"
I dont think she understood, I was asking because I didn't know what the word meant. I will not tell her, I think if I do she will leave, and I dont really want this to end. If it does, I gotta go back to the real world, where Hinata is with Yachi, and I am crying behind the gym.
"N-nothing.."
"Oh..class 1? Deliberately means on purpose, like they chose it."
"I-thanks."
"Yeah."
"I think I get it, people think you are the ideal type of girl, but then turn around and actually date the opposite."
"Yup"
"Its the same for me, I think."
"I don't really know you, but im sure girls talk about you, your hot."
I couldnt speak. She just called me hot while staring emotionless towards the empty sky. She said it like she doesn't even care, well she probably doesn't.
"Hey I have an idea!"
"What?"
"Ok turn around, count to three, and then turn back around."
"W-what are y-you gonna-"
"Dont worry, you'll like it." She didnt have nat evil grin like she was up to something, just a matter-of-fact tone and blank face. She is serious?
I stood up and turned my back to her, I could hear shuffling behind me, so I assumed she was standing now too.
1
2
3
I turned around and was met with a completely different girl. She was looking to the floor and blushing furiously, reminded me of the first time I met Yachi. She fiddled with her fingers and slowly came up to meet my taken aback face.
"K-kageyama...you..you l-look really HOT" as she said the last word she turned around so her back faced me, and brought her hands to her face, to cover her blushing cheeks. The girl in front of me was Saina Udai, but the only thing I was Hitoka. I felt a wierd feeling shoot down my body all the way to my dick. I wasnt hard, but I definitely felt turned on. Oh no. No no no no no. This is wrong. I should get turned on by Yachi. Well....it wouldn't be the first time, but this isnt even really her. Am I just that in need of being a protector.
More importantly than the feeling in my pants, why is Udai doing this right now? Why isn't she laughing yet?
I see her turn and look back up at me, blue eyes twinkling with wonder.
"How did I do?" She asks, no sense of embarassment, just curiosity.
"This is wierd"
"Yeah, I know"
"So why did you do that?"
"Maybe I wanna be like yachi too, im better at pretending than you are though."
"Yeah, you are...."
"Want me to do it again? I'm kinda scared to leave here because then everything from earlier will come back."
"No, dont!! I feel the same, though. A-about n-not going back."
"Huh, okay. Well, if theres nothing to do here than ill just go home and cry I guess. Have a nice night stranger."
She began to make her way down the small path that would lead her to the next corner of the gyms outside. I watched as her items were almost spilling out of her bag, but somehow stayed inside. I knew that I'd never see udai again, and now I had to think of how I would face my so-called bestfriend...and our manager. I wish I could just pretend udai is yachi. Then I might be able to release this, whatever it is, inside me. I know its wrong, and I'd be using her. I just didn't want to stop the feeling I got when she pretended to be Yachi.
"Wait up a second!" I started jogging towards the black haired girl.
"Huh?D-I drop something?"
"No, just...I have an idea."
"Yea..me too"
