1 - Beginning
*Y/n writing in her brand-new diary*
Monday October 22, 2020
I guess i should introduce myself. I am l/n f/n and i'm currently 17 years old. i'm a 2nd year at Nekoma High. There really isn't anything special about me, i'm like any other girl my age. I read, i write and study. I choose to journal because although my life is boring, i have a lot of thoughts that i need to sort through and this really helps with all of that.
Of course, i've said this all before in previous journals but i feel that i have to repeat these things because i have a huge, creative mind and here's what i think: what if a huge asteroid hits earth and wipes humanity out. And by some miracle, my journal survives the next 10,000 years and the civilization that currently inhabits earth find this journal. I believe they can learn a lot about humanity through this very notebook. I have a huge responsibility and that is to educate the life forms after us.
Enough blabbering. Here's what you'll end up learning about my personality: I am not a happy, chirpy, jumpy person. Ive never been that way. Ever since i was a child, i've been the quiet kid that stood in the corner and avoided interactions with others at all times. Some might say i'm a negative person but i am simply blunt. I tell you things the way that they truly are, no sugar coating. There's no particular reason that i'm this way. You might assume that i've gone through some sort of trauma for me to be so closed off or aloof but there really isn't one. I have good parents and they raised me incredibly well. I have those suburban parents. You know, p.t.a (parent teacher association), neighborhood watch & meetings, book club, occasional party throwers and barbecuers. Yes, that's them.
If i'm being completely honest though, i often feel very alone and sort of trapped in a way. Again, i'm not sure why i feel that way. It's sort of like walking in pitch darkness. Scary right? I feel that way all the time.
Well, not all the time. I may have just lied, forgive me. My life isn't entirely dark, i have a friend, a best friend. Lev Haiba. My one and only light. Imagine me cringing as i write this but even as gross as that sounds, it's the truth. I met Lev when i was 5 when he became my neighbor. As a kid, i hardly ever spoke because i really do not like to conversate with others but when i met Lev, he got somehow me to talk nonstop. Although our dynamic is different and we are polar opposites, we became best friends almost immediately.
Of course, as time progressed, we also fell in love with each other. Lev and i's relationship is rather odd, i must admit. We both recognize and acknowledge our feelings for each other but we aren't dating. Although, we arent technically boyfriend and girlfriend, people at home and at school also acknowledge our relationship. It's sort of like an unspoken rule. At first we got teased. You know, the 'Why aren't you dating' or 'Come on just date' But eventually people accepted our situations and became accustomed to it.
I hope you understand what i mean. Lets put this into perspective: Imagine, you see a boy and a girl who are OBVIOUSLY into each other and act very couple like, yet they aren't dating but you know that they are at the same time, the only difference is that there's no set-in-stone label. If im being completely honest, im waiting for Lev to make the first move and ask me to be his girlfriend, though i am in no rush. I like the way things are now and i doubt that me becoming his official girlfriend would change any of that. Hes an antsy boy so the chances if him asking me to be his girlfriend any time soon is very unlikely, hes afraid of confrontation. Lev is also very attractive but apparently i'm so scary that girls wouldn't dare to flirt with him. I'm thankful for that.
NEVER MIND. i'm dont not making any sense. I would erase everything i just wrote but i prefer writing in pen so booey to erasing. Anyway, Lev Haiba, my little light. Very clumsy, that boy. Also incredibly tall. There's almost a foots distance between our heights, neither of us seem to mind that though.
All throughout this journal, i will talk about Lev a lot, as he is one of the few friends i have. I do have a singular girl friend, Misa. Although i don't hang out with her a lot because she's very popular and attracts a crowd of people. As i've mentioned, i don't like to conversate nor do i like large crowds. Even with all that, we're close enough to call each other best friends.
This is a lot to unpack in a single entry so i'll give your brain some time to rest and tell you a small story of lev and i :
There was this one time about 2 years ago, Lev and i had gone to a carnival together alone, like a date. We had went on the Ferris Wheel, crepes in our hands and i remember he got so upset with me because after i had finished my crepe, i ate his. Lev went into a full emo mode, sort of like Bokuto from Fukurodani Academy (He's a friend of Levs). It was so hilarious.
The best thing about Lev is that his "emo" modes don't last long because his attention span is similar to a gnat, those tiny flies. The painful part is that he'll remember those sorts of things out of nowhere.
A few months ago, Lev texted me out of nowhere and said this "Remember that time we went to the carnival and you ate my crepe in the ferris wheel? FAKE FRIEND ALERT. GOODBYE" and he ignored me for a whole hour before forgetting what he was so upset about.
With Lev being Lev, people might think that he's very clingy but it's the exact opposite. Yes, he is clingy but i know he can survive without me for a while. It's comforting to know that he would be okay if i were to suddenly be gone, but then it's also a painful thought. Lev would miss me of course, i know he would, but he would also continue with his life and be independent, as he always has been. Ive always admired him for that, you see, i'm the clingy one.
Now to talk about my day:
This morning Lev and i walked together to school, nothing different. The day went by FOREVER, i went to Levs practice and i actually talked to some of his teammates. I'm really proud of myself. It's not that they're scary or anything, it's just that my communication skills aren't any good. But after a year, i'm finally warming up to the team. It's nice honestly.
Misa told me about some new boy she was flirting with and how she was afraid that she'd end up feeling romantically for him. Of course, i assured her that she wouldn't fall for him because she doesn't fall for anyone, they fall for her. Misa the heartthrob, i couldn't be any more proud of her.
But i do think that's a wrap so.... goodbye. See you tomorrow
Jackie- hi hello. thank you for reading :) so y/n thoughts and journalings will be in italics
Before and after her entrys there will be a "●" so that you can tell when shes writing and when she isnt
blah, blah blah
i dont know, something totally random
i hope that makes sense. if not, i am so sorry