༒0. A god
trigger warning, violence warning, smut warning, gore warning, spoiler warning, humiliation kink warning, bdsm warning, drug use warning, strong language warning, degrading kink warning.
this story is not normal nor fluff filled in any sense. be prepared for that.
"what was he like?" you glanced down at your shot glass , tilting it side by side as you watched it side down the side with an oily like residue.
even staring at its gleams you could see his steely blue eyes , imagining your times together, hallucinating from way to many drinks.
you swallowed hard and downed it to get rid of the things you saw making it fill your body bitterly. you shuddered, tried to ignore your pounding heart and dizzied vision.
you forced a laugh and squeezed the shot glass until you knuckles whitened—-conflicted with which emotion to show
"what was he like..." you repeated finding yourself gazing into the leftovers in the shot glass as your attention fogged over with memories.
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༒PROLOGUE : ERWIN SMITH WAS A GOD༒
on his way back to the city from another futile raid, the commander noticed strange movement amidst some trees.
gurgled noises that sounded like a dying human and the neighs of a horse running around wild.
motioning levi to go on without him, he lead the surviving members of his platoon to inspect the site.
at the opening of the small forest, the bloodied cape and badge of a fallen soldier was all that was left of his being.
the commander stared at the torn pieces of the uniform from the scout regiment though he did not react.
unfaltered, unmoving—he'd seen death so many times that another death was insignificant to him yet he honored their bravery and loyalty to the regiment.
"I swear your death will not be in vain" he said watching mike gather the fragments of the soldier's existence then he averted his gaze to the heart of the forest where the gurgles and neighs sounded from.
soundlessly he followed, not having to go too far in the forest, and ignored the calls of his comrades.
Atleast the horse. he pleaded internally but reaching where the Titan was dining, he realized his efforts were in vain.
regardless, he saw something far more strange. a small girl on a limb, hanging pieces of entrails over the titans head and throwing it far away. each time it moved away she moved to another limb.
you seemed to be in the peak of your teens, fifteen he approximated but through your bloodied state he could not tell.
he'd thought the crazed thing was feeding it her own entrails but on discovering the true source his gut writhed.
a man that seemed to resemble you, your father perhaps, was slouched on one of the limbs, completely gutted, one foot seeming to have been bitten off.
and in your hands which you had filled as you hopped to another limb, was he entrails that bloodied your face each time you tried to cut a piece to throw.
erwin found himself watching the stomach churning thing with set jaws, watching you feed the Titan the entrails of your family as you tried to escape towards the opening of the forest.
but before you could, you ran out of bait. hungrily the Titan reached his hand up to the limb and without hesitation you slid the butter knife in your possession across its joints.
surprised, the commander watched the Titan fall to his feet, snarling like a rabid beast, foaming at the mouth in outrage.
it's fingers were cut off at the joints and at the time it seemed to be on par with their odm gear. Eventually he remembered that even a dull butter knife could kill a Titan if held the right way.
and he was surprised you'd known the right way.
"is that kid feeding the Titan her father" mike whispered in disgust, erwin barely glanced over his shoulder since he hadn't realized they were behind him and were watching as well.
"it appears so" he said shifting his eyes to you again, watching you swipe the knife over the 3m Titans eyes each time he jumped towards you.
"if that's the case she's far worst than any Titan I've seen. Let's leave her be" mike scowled.
"I want to assess that Titan. hmm hmm, definitely. let's wait until he's caught her and bring it to the city. I'll name him Giovardo" hange added coming in on the commander's right.
at first he sympathized with them, a terrible human like yourself should just succumb to being another meal for a Titan.
but something didn't sit well with him.Especially when you he watched you try to run off the limb but due to an injury on your own foot you winced and slid off into the titan's grip.
soundless, so soundless. you didn't even scream. they didn't react either.
the Titan was tightening his grip around your body in annoyance, so much so that blood slipped pass your lips. After throwing the knife in the centre of its forehead—your hands were so weak that it barely pierced its thick leathery skin, you calmed. acknowledging it as your final failed attempt.
it was then that you glanced to the side, met two steely grey orbs staring back at you through the bushes. erwin stilled at first, hearing you tell him to not bother with your own eyes.
he grimaced and hopped off his horse. in a moment he had slitted the back of the titans neck and stayed on its back until it fell face forward with a defeated groan.
"GIOVARDO!" hange shouted but erwin ignored it as he walked through the steam emitting from the titans neck, then stop on top of the peak of its head to look down at you.
your eyes that seemed so hooded and dull were now slightly widening in surprise as you stared at the man looking down at you.
you'd seen the uniform before on corpses you had passed but at that moment it seemed to be something much more meaningful.
the way his badges and odm gleamed on par with his metallic eyes, the crisp manner in which his uniform was kept—each seam as sharp as his chiseled face, and the dull muted colors that seemed to resonate with his stoic gaze as he slaughtered the Titan and stood above its corpse.
all added to your immediate perspective of the man.
"Kami 神 (god)" you muttered staring at the blonde soldier as he pried off the fingers that had surely broken a few of your ribs.
"i am not god. I am erwin smith, commander of the scout regiment. since you are injured, we'll take you to the capital" he said with set jaws and though you'd never complied to anyone's will before, you hummed immediately, finding the man worthy of being followed.
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you sat on the back of the commander's horse, rendezvousing with some other soldiers before you entered the city through a large gate built into a high stone wall.
you'd gotten shudders hearing his voice boom as he spoke to the soldiers before leading them into the city.
his words seemed to resonate with you and give you courage though you could not relate to a thing he uttered.
based on the proud speech, you'd expected them to be greeted with cheers and praises, a man of his stature even, but there was nothing of the sort.
erwin kept his head straight as the jeers and swears came their way, some went as far as to throw spoiled vegetables from markets at them.
none of which you understood.
defend yourself you wanted to suggest but noticed that even God himself wouldn't step down to the trough where humans reside just to counter them on the account of a jeer.
finding his behavior suitable of your god complex, you ignored the jeers as well, simply finding pleasure in being rescued by such a deity.
it was then you'd heard a single comment above the others
"YOU DEVIL YOU SHOULD DIE! EVERY DAY YOU TAKE OFF WITH OUR TAXES ONLY TO RETURN WITH BARELY HALF OF YOUR TROOPS!! YOU KILL OF MORR OF OUR PEOPLE THAN THE TITANS DO. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THE SURVIVING NUMBER?!!
THE ONLY THING THE SURVEY CORPS DOES IS TO RAVAGE FALLEN VILLAGES AND ESCAPE WITH THE SPOILS!!YOU PIRATES!! YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU MYSE"-
before the man could finish, you were on top of him pressing a blade to his throat. it was only when Erwin looked down that he realized you'd effortlessly taken off with his gear.
the crowd made a sound of surprise, the man below you wore a horrified look as he watched the bloodied and crazed look on your face.
"how dare you speak ill of god. How dare you defile his stature" you said through a grimace as you held down the blade against his throat until blood pooled against it. the man swore and pleaded though no one dared to do anything since they'd never seen anything like it.
it was then that you'd felt a hand on your head. glancing around you saw the blue eyed man staring down at you from his horse. a stern expression on his face that chilled you.
"do not dare harm him further. come"
you shuddered but obliged immediately, handing him back his gear and hoisting yourself onto the horse.
'I deserve retribution for touching his sacred gear'
"forgive me" you said and he averted his gaze in disappointment as he heeled the horse to continue the shameful summit through the parted crowds.