What the fuck did I do! My head was spinning, I really just kissed a guy. I liked it but he looked like he hated it afterwards. When I saw that look of regret cross his face my heart dropped. I should be feeling this was especially not about a guy.
I had got home a little while ago. on my way through the parkway lot of the school Taurus was trying to talk to me but I wasn't in the mood. Though he would most likely be the best person to talk about this with since he gay and all.
I'm not gonna just say I'm gay because I still like girls and durk is the only guy I've felt this way with. I wonder if he feels the same way about me. But that look he gave says otherwise.
I was so high right now my thoughts had me wanting to let go the moment I got home. That's when I felt so weak. I leaned against my dresser putting all my weight on it.
A sudden rush of anger came over me. My fists connected with the dresser. Everything on it falling over.
Something fell, a crack following after. Oh shit.
"I was gonna go to the store tomorrow have anything to get in mind" my mom says.
"Uh eggs and milk is all I can think of right now" I say heading towards my room so I can think.
"Oh ok I was thinking-"
Her voice slowly drowned out as I closed my door, I was probably gonna get my ass beat for this later but I didn't care right now. I layed down on my bed. I still can't believe I kissed von.
I mean he didn't seem to hate it, but when he saw my face after pulling back he looked hurt. I couldn't hold back my expression. Last time being gay got me and my mom homeless, what would happen this time.
Maybe if I avoid him the feelings will go away. But how am I supposed to do that I have two classes with him and we're partners for a project. Whatever these feelings are they need to come to an end.
At moments like this I wish I had a phone. I could just call India and ask for advice. I didn't even notice I was crying till I felt the sticky feeling of dry tears on my face. Then my vision felt heavy.
I guess a nap couldn't hurt.
"Clint I'm telling you it's nothing" I say looking down.
"So coming to school with bruises is nothing" From the corner of my eye I see his fist clenched.
"Calm down I'm ok" I say looking up at him to smile.
"Are you getting beat up or something" he said completely ignoring my words.
"Nah it's nothing going on" I sighed.
"I know you lying, you need to tell me who ever doing this shit" he said looking at the bruise on my face
"Y-yea ok" a noticeable blush on my cheeks.
Thing is if I tell Clint, I don't want my aunt to do worse and kick me out. There are still beatings but she has been a little more calm lately, I don't want her to go to jail, she's still my family. I know Clint is a good guy and cares but, I don't need him ruining things for me right now.
"You know you look cute when you blush" he says kissing me on the cheek.
"Stooppp" I whined pushing him away blushing even more then before.
"Tione can we talk please" I say grabbing his arm.
"Yea what do yo want" he says looking to the side.
"I almost died" I say lowly, I could see him tense the he started shaking.
"I know" he says looking at me with tears running down his face.
"And that's why I want to try again with you I know it will take a while to get back where we were but, I'm ready" I say.
"Ready for what" he say wiping his tears.
"To be public" I say.
"But you were pretty clear you didn't want to" he sighs.
"But I'm ready" I say.
He just get stands on his toes to get to my height and kissed me. I never knew him much I missed that.
"Well hold of for now, let them think we gone, but do you have any new information for me"
"saw von kissing another guy behind his school"
"For real? Damn, question is who was the guy? We could use that"
If you have questions I'll answer
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