"ive gotten behind on an assignment and my teacher gave me an extension, i'll be caught up once that assignment is done," braelynn smiles which automatically put a smile on moms face.
"great job babygirl, once you finish the assignment maybe we can go for lunch or a movie," she lightly rubs braelynns hand before turning back to the waffles in the toaster.
"what about you aria? have you turned in your missing assignments?" her tone changed immediately once the conversation was on me.
i look up from my phone with a confused look, "missing assignments? i'm a week ahead in my classes, when do i ever have missing work?"
i was genuinely wondering where she got this information from. i'm always on top of things, especially school, always getting my work done and turned in with my best work days before the dead line.
"you mentioned having missing assignments. if you thought i would forget about it and you could get away with it, you're wrong and you need to get it done."
"i don't have any missing assignments," i state once again. i was trying my best to ignore her, she probably just got braelynn and I confused.
braelynn turns to me slightly after shoving her mouth full of a waffle, "try making to-do lists for school work. it helps me not forget about what i have missing."
i roll my eyes after cringing, "first off, talk after you swallow your food and second off, i don't have any missing work! i don't need to make a list of anything when i know for a fact i'm not missing a single thing."
she nods, pointing her syrup covered form in my direction, "you say that yet mom is just trying to help remind you of work that's missing. obviously you're missing something if mom has to get onto you about it."
"exactly braelynn. ariella, your sister understand, why can't you? i'm just trying to help you stay on top of things, quit talking back to me and thank me for reminding you."
i purse my lips and nod as i place my dishes in the sink, "okay, well i have a class in a few minutes so i'm heading back upstairs."
"oh thanks mom! sure wouldn't remember anything without your help!" my mom mocks as if she was me. she doesn't remember anything i tell her, only what braelynn tells her.
i've learned to ignore it at this point.
i nod at her words and speed walk to my room. i didn't have another class for another thirty minutes but i wanted to get out of that conversation.
two people that knew nothing about what they were talking about was teaming up against the one person that knew what they were talking about. for Christs sake, it was about me! i think i would know!
finally i made it up to my room and i instantly felt calm again.
my room was my safe place, not just because it's my room but because it was me. it was decorated exactly the way i wanted it to be, it had nothing to do with the outside world or my mom. and sure as hell didn't have anything to do with braelynn.
braelynn and i are so different in so many ways but everyone always sees me as less than her.
i've learned to deal with, hell, i grew up in my twin sisters shadow. i can deal with it as an eighteen year old.
the only thing braelynn and i have in common is that we are twins. if you even want to count that as something in common...
our style, aesthetic, personalities, everything... everything was different between us.
as a twin, you'd think that being so different from each other would give each one of them their own chance to shine but when it comes to braelynn and i... her light shines bigger than mine at all times.
sometimes i wonder if i even have a light, if i'll ever get the light. i always joke around and tell people that braelynn was planned and i was the accident that tagged along.
i say it as a joke but deep down i feel like it's the truth. i get it, twins aren't really a planned thing but hell... why am i still living in my sisters shadow? i'm damn near eighteen years old.
oh that's right, because i gave up around the age of ten. i gave up when i was ten because braelynn asked to sign up for dance classes.
no, not because i was jealous but because when i asked to join a club or a team... i was instantly shut down and told "no."
i was told no but was given to reason why my sister could do it but i couldn't. at that moment, it was like every memory i had of me being treated less than braelynn flooded my mind.
it was too many memories flooding my mind, way too many because they came from everyday i have lived.
when braelynn and i were babies, if we both cried at once, i'm sure mom checked on braelynn first.
i try my best to get along with mom and braelynn but it seems like they don't care to try on their part.
braelynn is my sister, twin sister, one of my best friends but someone that always turns the situation to be about her.
i love her, i really do and i'm glad i can talk to her about things... until she makes it about her. at the point, i just let her ramble about her problems and decide to focus on mine later.
when it's her and I alone, things are fine for the most part. when mom is around, mom's compliments and constant having the conversation about braelynn seems to boost her ego.
braelynn is two faced i guess you could say. she's a brat around mom and others but can be an angel when alone.
i sprawled out on my bed, staring up at my ceiling trying to clear my mind. that's until braelynn came bursting into my room.
"thought you had class?" she questions before plopping onto the edge of my bed.
"first off, if you knew i had a class why would you come busting in here like you were about to catch me doing meth? second, i only said that for you and mom to hop off my ass," i didn't look up at her, i continued to stare at the white ceiling.
"moms just trying to help you ari, learn to appreciate it."
i groan, propping myself up on my elbows to looks at her. she was facing me already, holding a half eaten banana.
"mom doesn't help me bri, she helps you and then helps you push my buttons."
she shakes her head in disagreement, "she's looking out for you. she wants us to succeed in school and... life."
"believe what you want but i know when she says she wants us to succeed, she means she wants you to succeed and for me to fail."
"why would she want you to fail? you sound ridiculous ari, seriously," she was stood by my desk, drawing on my whiteboard with the dry erase marker.
"so she pick out my flaws and remind me of them every time she sees me."
"you're being dramatic! she's our mother! she wants nothing more than for us to be happy and live life successfully, she wouldn't pray on your downfall."
"God shut up!" i sit up fully, my tone making her turn around in confusion.
"stop acting like you don't see her treating me less than you—"
"i don't ariella! you always have a horrible attitude and never show gratitude. what's stuck up your ass lately? Jesus, if mom treats you like that, i would've noticed by now and maybe she has a reason too. fix your attitude and maybe she'll start treating you like your age."
"get out of room."
"see! i'm just trying to talk you and you have to make this about how mom does this and how mom does that!"
"my God braelynn! when the war was going on, mom called you every thirty minutes to check on you but would decline my calls! how do you not see it?" i had tears in my eyes but i had to quickly blink them away before she noticed them.
"that's because you're ungrateful for everything she does! say thank you more often and—"
"get out!" without second guessing myself, i grab her high ponytail, swing open my wooden door and pulled her out into the hallway.
"and stay out!" was the last thing i shouted at her before slamming the door, leaving me alone once again in my room.
"maybe she's right... what if it's just me who thinks this?"
"ari, you know how your sister and mom are. why do you still let it bother you?"
i was taken aback by my boyfriends question. he knows why i get so upset about situations like the one a few hours ago.
"am i just supposed to ignore them? like, they're my family lux. what they think and say about me hurts more than what a stranger would say or think."
"but you constantly bitch about them and what they say. move out! stick up for yourself! do something else instead of complaining about it," his words stung but obviously made me question myself.
lux has always been good at that. good at making people question themselves and their actions. he's a good manipulative person which is the reason i'm still with him.
hell, i sound dumb.
the amount of times he's hurt me, the amount of nasty names he's called me... yet here i am on the phone with him and in a few, i'll end the call by saying, "i love you lux, i'll let you go."
"love you too ari—"
"oh! real quick, can you come over after you get off work?"
"nah, going to payton's tonight after work. i'll see you in class tomorrow," with that he hung up.
yeah, i'll see you tomorrow... in class... that's online. i'll see you're face virtually, that's fine i guess.
i lock my phone, laying my head on the fuzzy pillow beneath me.
"screw it," i unlock my phone and click on the contact, 'whitney'
a few annoying rings later, i starting to question everything but before i could hang up, the call picked up and a squeaky voice spoke.
"ariella! hi honey!"
i giggle slightly, "hey whit, you busy right now?"
"not at all, you okay? you need me to come get you?"
"no no! whit i'm okay, just wanted to know... if you wanted to go out tonight or something?" why did i feel nervous? i had a pit in my stomach but i need to let loose, have some fun.
"like... for dinner?"
"i was thinking more of a... you know whit, nevermind i— i shouldn't have—"
she read my mind like a book.
"y—yeah, a party."
the line went silent for a moment before she chuckled loudly, "you! ariella? wants to go to a party? miss 'i never go to parties because i'd rather read and study' wants to go out?"
"and i already regret asking..."
"you didn't ask, you started too but i finished the sentence. but if you're being serious, sure i'll go to a party with you. what's the addy?"
"i don't— i didn't plan this far."
she chuckles, "it's okay, i can get us into a party. i'll pick you up around ten, okay?"
"ten at night? that's late for a party to start—"
"it's fine ariella! drink a red bull and you'll be good to go," she was too excited about this which helped my nerves.
if she's not nervous, there's no reason i should be either.
happy new year! i'm extremely excited and nervous to publish this :')
please leave some feedback for me in the comments and voting!
also the tpwk music video came out today, let me cry in peace—