I was a year above my age group in both potions and Defense against the dark arts, I secretly wanted to be an auror and was going to put my plan into action my seventh year, unbeknownst to Walburga. I couldn't stand my mother. My father had always kept Walburga in check and tried to keep her from being too horrible to me and Sirius, however after he passed she had came at them with years of pent up aggression.
The abuse came in the form of gaslighting and manipulation for me and it only got worse when I was sorted into Gryffindor. Now at age fifteen, Walburga had been putting pressure on me to be like my older cousin Bellatrix and get the dark mark. She had been giving me gifts like new dresses and jewelry, which was as affectionate as Walburga could be to anyone that wasn't my younger brother Regulus. I hadn't openly made my decision clear, I told my mother that she would think about it but in reality, I would rather date a dementor.
Walburga had given me until my seventh year to decide. But made it perfectly clear that if I refused I would be just like Sirius, disowned and removed from Grimmauld place. What Walburga didn't know was that I helped my brother escape, and when asked to follow I refused solely because I was terrified of my mother. What a stupid mistake.
"You're brother is an ingrate! I fed him! I clothed him! And what does he do!? He runs to that Potter bitch!" Walburga said as she burned his spot on the family tapestry. I bit back tears when I thought of that memory, I could still smell the burning fabric. I had missed Sirius, but was glad that I would see him at the start of My sixth year.
The sound of ribbiting pulled me from my thoughts. As I got closer to the dungeons the sound got louder, the smell of mud and dirty water filled her nose as a strange sight came into view. The whole entire corridor leading to the potions classroom was transfigured into a marsh. Keres watched as several students tried to tred through the muck in order to get to class on time, one girl a year above me in the same house as me, Lily Evans, I remembered, was stuck in muck up to her waist crying angry tears as her mascara ran down her face.
"I'm going to kill them!" Lily screamed as she tried to pull herself out of the muck.
I trudged over to her. Deciding that Walburga's rules weren't important at the moment. Lily had never been unkind to me, quite the opposite in fact, she had offered to help Keres study for her transfiguration final in third year.
"Need a hand?" Keres asked Lily. Lily huffed and held her hand out to Keres.
"Your brother and that Potter are a nuisance! I wonder how Remus and Peter deal with them." Lily said referring to my brother and his friends.
"Oh trust me, I know, Sirius changed the color and texture of my hair once and turned my room into a marsh on several occasions." I said whilst preforming the spell to reverse the marsh.
"How do you live with that?" Lily asked.
"Well I don't, atheist out anymore. Our egg donor kicked him out. He lives with James now." I said quietly. Lily gasped and grabbed my hand to hold it in hers.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that-"
"It's fine Lily, I'm glad he doesn't live with us anymore. Walburga can be a bit much and I'm glad he doesn't have to deal with that." I said smiling.
Lily and I sat together in potions, professor Slughorn was droning on about several different potions he alway kept in the back of the room.
"Miss Black, can you identify the potion to your left please?" Slughorn asked knowing full well that I had been day dreaming. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I stood up and walked over to the boiling brew. Right away I was hit with the scent of the potion. It smelled like several different things, fresh linen, dark chocolate and the pages of old books, it was subtle, but the more I smelled it the more intoxicating it became. I fought the urge to stick my head inside of the cauldron for a better whiff, placed the lid back down, and cleared my throat as I felt my cheeks turn dark red with embarrassment.
"That sir, is Amortentia. It's a very powerful love potion, arguably the strongest one in existence." I said in a partially dazed state.
"Good, can you describe what it smells like Miss Black?" I nodded. This man loved to embarrass me, I could feel it in my bones. As I looked at the rest of the class, my eyes caught a pair of honey brown eyes. Remus Lupin's gaze pinned me down on the spot. He had that effect on me, the sunlight from the unshuttered windows danced across his freckled face and illuminated his brown curls that showed hints of premature greying. His facial scars were thin purple lines adding a cool shade to the aesthetic. In this light to me he was absolute perfection, an imperfect adonis.
"Miss Black, away with the faeries are we?" Slughorn asked, drawing me back into the real world where Remus was actively making fun of me to Peter and James. Sirius wasn't in this class, he was in Divination, otherwise he would have joined in.
"Y-yes sir. Sorry, Amortentia doesn't have a trademark smell. It smells like what you are attracted to the most, for instance, my smells are Dark chocolate, fresh linen, and the pages of old books." I said, my cheeks felt like they were on fire as I returned to my seat, with Lily. I felt eyes on me once more, burning into my skull like hot coals.
"I wonder what mine would smell like." Lily wondered aloud as she sat cross-legged on her bed, flipping through magazines.
"Probably quaffle leather and sleek easy hair potion." I snorted as she hit me in the back of the head.
"Dont think I don't know what you're hinting at Black." Lily said with an edge to her tone.
"Fine fine, don't admit that you fancy James. I'll try not to notice the way you stare at him."
"Oh come on Ker, don't tell me you don't fancy anyone." Lily said nudging me.
I shook my head and sighed.
"Sorry Lils, my heart isn't big enough to fancy anyone. Its small and made out of coal." I said as I hung upside down on my bed. Alice Fortescue and Marlene McKinnon started laughing as I said that.
"Bullshit Black, I know who you fancy!" Marlene hollered while yelling.
"Say that a bit louder Mar, I don't think the Slytherins heard you." I said cringing at the idea that my little brother would find out my secret.
"Don't play with me Ker, you know I will." Marlene said. I nodded.
"Do go on Marlene, who is it that you think I fancy?" I inquired. Marlene's smile grew wide like that mischievous cat from a muggle children's book Lily had lent to me.
"I saw you and Pettigrew getting very familiar in the library." I rolled over and broke out into peels of laughter.
"You can't be serious Mar, that spineless rat? I would never. He'd fold as soon as someone would touch him." I said through the laughter.
"Besides, I like a boy with a brain, who isn't afraid of a bossy woman. I'm afraid I'd break Peter."I said. They didn't need to know about Remus, I wouldn't get their hopes up anyway. He's never shown romantic interest in anyone, why would I be any different?