I shoot up in bed, clutching at my chest breathing heavily. It was just a dream; more like a nightmare. I hate having these nightmares, I hate the thought knowing that she isn’t gonna be here when I wake up. I pick up my phone and check the time. 3:30 AM. Great, I still have a few hours to sleep. Oh well, I’ll just get started for my interview a few hours early. As I get out of my bed, I feel a little lightheaded.
“Ugh, why can’t I just have a peaceful sleep?” I moan and get out of bed. As I walk down to the bathroom, I turn and see Hayden’s door shut. It’s been shut for the past few weeks. I just can’t bring myself to open the door and look at her things. I decide to walk to the door and just sit against it.
“So, Hayden, I have my job interview this morning. I’m excited, but I don't think I’m gonna get the job. But that’s okay, I’ll apply somewhere else. Well, I gotta go get ready. I love you.” I sigh and walk away from the door. I walk into my bathroom and turn on the lights. The sky gets a little brighter each minute. The big windows sometimes make me feel self conscious, but these are the windows that Hayden wanted in my bathroom, so I had to get them.
I put the shower temperature to as hot as it could be. I was too stressed and needed to relax. After my shower, I look into the mirror and see the shell of myself. My skin isn’t as bright as it usually is. My eyes don’t have that glimmer anymore. I look broken. I am broken. I open the medicine cabinet and find Hayden’s pills. I looked at the label and it read “Alprazolam”; Xanax. Maybe you could take some to calm you down. I instantly shake that thought from my head, put the medicine down and close the cabinet. I walk back into my room and head to my closet to pick what I’m going to wear. I decided to wear my favorite pink sweater and a black/grey/white skirt. After getting dressed, I walked over to my jewelry box and pulled out Hayden’s necklace. I took it from her room last night because I wanted her near me for my interview.
“I’m ready. Ready as I’ll ever be.” I tell myself in the mirror. I pull my hair into a ponytail, grab my bag and walk out the door. As I walk out the door, my phone starts ringing. Dad's name pops up on my screen. It’s been a couple of weeks since we last talked, we didn’t end things on a good note. I decide to accept the call and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey Livvie. How have you been these past few weeks?” He knows how I’ve been.
“Fine. Just sorting through some things. But I’m good.” I sigh at the end.
“Olivia, your mother and I are worried about you. You haven’t talked to anyone since Hayden died. Have you cleaned out her room and packed up her stuff?” Oh my god, I wish this phone call would end. I hate when he brings up Hayden, just leave me be. Let me grieve. So I decide to lie.
“Yeah dad, I’m working on that now. I just have an interview to get to right now. So, I’ll call you back later?”
“Of course honey. Maybe you can come over and have dinner with your mother and I?”
“I’ll think about it dad. Bye.” Hurry up please.
“Okay. Bye Olivia. Love you.” I quickly hang up the phone and take a deep breath. I don’t really wanna go over there later, but I know they all want to see me. Mom has been trying to reach me, but I keep declining her calls and tell her I’m busy. In my defense, I was busy...Busy dealing with my own problems. I love them and all, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like they don’t listen to me. These past few weeks have been terrible for me, I’ve just wanted the pain to stop.
I arrive at McCallister and Russell Associates. Big buildings, nice windows, a lot of people. Exactly what I need to take my mind off things. I walk into the building and just stand there, taking in my surroundings. Wow, I hope I don’t look too underdressed.
“Miss? May I help you with something?” The front desk lady asks me. She seems nice. Early to mid-twenties I believe.
“Oh, um, yeah, hi. I’m Olivia. Olivia Williams. I have an interview scheduled for 8:00 am with Mr. Russel.”
“Ah yes. Your name is on the list. I’ll take you to his room Ms. Williams.” She leads me up a flight of stairs and takes me down a hallway to a big room. Outside the room, the plaque reads: Mr. Issac Russel. Fancy, I like it.
“Here you go Ms. Williams, take a seat. Mr. Russell will be with you shortly. Is there anything I can get for you? Coffee? Water?”
“Water would be fine. Thank you.” I smile sweetly at her. Her brown hair pulled back into a nice ponytail. If I get this job, I have a feeling we’d be pretty good friends.
“I’ll be back with your water shortly.” She nods and walks out the door.
I sit there for a few minutes alone, playing with my nails to keep me calm. The room smelt of vanilla with a hint of cinnamon. Reminded me of the fall for some reason. When I was a kid, mom would always make cinnamon rolls on Saturday mornings. Oh my god, they were the best thing ever. Hayden would always complain that hers didn’t have enough cream on top. She complained about almost everything. Homework, chores, waking up in the morning. Hayden hated being woken up, she always yelled at people in the morning. The thought of this makes me laugh a little.
“Is something funny?” I hear a voice behind me ask. I jump in fright.
“Shit!” I scream. “Sorry. Oh, um, I was thinking about something.” I stand up and greet the man, finding out it's Mr. Russel. He looks approximately 26-27. Very successful businessman.
“At least you aren’t crying. Well, anyway, welcome Olivia Williams to McCallister and Russel Associates. I am Issac Russel.” He extends his hand out to mine and I shake it.
“Nice to meet you. It’s an honor to be interviewing for you today. I lightly clasp my hands together and play with my fingers. (Another thing I do when I’m nervous)
“So, you’re applying for the writing position. Am I correct?” He eyes me as he asks the question and I start feeling a little more nervous.
“Y-Yes I am.” I smile and nod. He starts asking me all those questions interviewers ask. I feel myself getting nervous again when he ends the interview. How long did that take? An hour? Thirty minutes? I don’t know.
“Well, Olivia, it was nice of you to interview with us, but I don’t see you being a good fit with this company. I hope you have a good rest of your day. I’ll have Eva come in and show you out.” He nods and walks out.
Oh my god, I didn’t get the job. What do I do now? What’s my plan C? Plan A and B are down the drain. I stand up and run my fingers through the end of my ponytail, just as Eva walks in.
“Hi. I am here to walk you out. I’m sorry you didn’t get the job. It’s a very tough position.”
“It’s fine.” I follow Eva back down the stairs and into the lobby. “Have a good rest of your day.” I quote Mr. Russel.
“You too Olivia.” She lightly waves as I walk out. I grab my phone and text Ryan.
Me: Hey. Just failed a job interview. Wanna do something?
Ryan: heck yeah
Ryan: what do you wanna do
Me: let’s have a party tonight
Me: i’m not busy. We can invite the group and some more people
Ryan: club instead, less we have to do
Me: okay great. I’ll text Aaliyah and tell her the plan
Me: okay i gotta go. Love you bud
Ryan: love you too
Then I decided to text Aaliyah. She is honestly my best friend. We grew up together, we’ve lived beside each other since we were born. We even went to the same writing school. We had daydreams about marrying celebrities and living fancy lives. Her and Ryan are the only ones I talk to nowadays, sometimes Ryan’s boyfriend Elliot.
Liyah: supp babee
Me: club. You. me. Ryan. elliot.
Liyah: done. I’m coming over soon
Me: coolio. I didn’t get the job
Liyah: aww sorry boo. They can smd
Me: if they don’t, i will
Liyah: see you soonn
Liyah: LOVE UUUU
Me: LOVE UUU 2
I arrive home and Aaliyah is in the kitchen looking for food. I sneak into the kitchen and scream. She screams and drops the ice cream that was in her hand. I burst into a laughing fit.
“WTF Olivia!?” She yells at me, but I can tell she’s holding in her laughter.
“Sorry honey. I just wanted to scare you.” I compose myself and go and hug her. She hugs me back tightly. She smells like coconut and tropical paradise. “Okay, you can let go now. I’m gonna take a nap before the club tonight.” I yawn and head to my bedroom. Liyah follows me and lays down beside me. Before I know it, she is fast asleep. I roll over onto my side, close my eyes and fall asleep.