Write a Review

Southern Heat

1 Like a Whore In Church

"Dammit to hell! I'm fixin' ta open a can of whoop ass on you, Campbell. "

Rachel huffed as she put her hands on her hips and surveyed the grass clippings spewed along the front walkway of the immense Southern mansion. Then she remembered her nephew had already left on his class trip. Somebody should just go ahead and tattoo DUMB ASS on her forehead for believing that her charming nephew would "do the job of the landscape company for half the price."

There was no one to listen to Rachel's rant except a black and white puffball of a cat. Unruffled by her tirade, Mr. Fluff blinked his placid green eyes at her.

She hurriedly swept the walk and checked her chore list. Last item: BUY LIQUOR!!

"I'm not stoppin' to change. I'm startin' my vacation at 11AM if it harelips the booger man!!"

Looking down at her paint-splattered gym shorts and tie-dyed tank top, she groused, "I bet I'll see somebody I know."

She hopped in her big SUV to make the 12 mile drive to town. Turning onto the highway, she saw a fancy tour bus pulled over in the gravel area where the old store used to be. There were some people milling about, looking wilted as week-old lettuce.

Even though it was September, that was still blazing summer in the Deep South. It was already 94* F and it was only mid morning.

"Bless their hearts," Rachel said shaking her head. "I'm sweatin' like a whore in church," Rachel muttered, turning the A/C up some more.

Heading back home, she saw the tour bus again. Those poor souls were looking even more pitiful, so Rachel pulled over in the gravel lot. Maybe she could help. At least they would know somebody cared.

She paused and looked at her outfit for a second. She looked like hell, but SO WHAT?! She didn't know these people. Besides, she'd already gotten the nice-nasty about her outfit from the cashier at the liquor store. To balance out all the cuss words she'd called (in her head, of course!) that wrinkled-ass uppity old bat, Rachel needed to do a good deed.

She got out waving. “Hey there! Do you folks need any help?!"

There was a middle-aged man with a massive beer gut on the phone. He waved curtly. The rest looked college-ish maybe, and Asian, Rachel guessed.

A tall guy walked over to meet her.
He smiled and put out his hand, "Hello. Thanks for stopping." He looked young, like early 20's, but had an "Ima grown-ass man" vibe.

"Mmm...nice and tall," Rachel thought.

She smiled. " I assume your bus broke down."

"Yes, we are waiting on the wrecker service now." He smiled, and Rachel decided he was an absolutely PRECIOUS grown-ass man with killer dimples.

"How long before you're rescued?"

"They should be here in 2 to 3 hours,” Mr. Dimples said in his deep voice.

"Good Lordy! Where are they comin' from? Mars?!"

"Closer than that, I hope." Mr. Dimples gave her another dazzling smile.

Rachel fanned herself, thinking "it's gettin' hot up in here..."

"There's a wrecker service - with a BIG wrecker, like y'all need - just down the road a mile or so. Lemme call Skeeter and see if he can come get y'all."

After a little discussion amongst Skeeter, Mr.Dimples, the beer gut bus driver and whoever they talked to on their phones, they had a plan. Beer Gut would go with the bus to the wrecker shop, and try to find replacement transportation. There wasn't really a waiting room at the wrecker shop, so Rachel offered to take all 7 of the "engineering students from Korea" to her house. It was only a couple of miles from where they were, and still very close to the wrecker shop. She would take them back to the shop once their bus was fixed.

The "engineers" were talking amongst themselves in Korean. A bouncy guy with black hair wondered if the woman was going to kidnap them for ransom. "I'm scared," he whispered.

Mr. Dimples said, "She IS dressed kinda like a crackhead."

Another tall guy, this one with bright blonde hair whined, "Hyung, her car is fancy. And I bet it has air conditioning."

The grey- haired hottie smiled with his plump lips, "She looks like a high-schooler. Plus she seems really sweet."

The muscular one with a bunny smile chimed in, "Yeah. And if she's not, I can beat her up."

Rachel spoke up, "I can't leave y'all to melt on the side of the road. "

Mr. Dimples said again, "We do not want to trouble you."

Rachel answered, "Hush - I won't hear another word. Tell your folks back in Korea that you got a taste of Southern hospitality while you were in America."

"Besides, you got one about to keel over." She pointed towards a pale guy dressed all in black, long pants and long sleeves, and a black bucket hat. He was half sitting, half laying on the steps into the bus.

The bouncy dude with black hair chirped, "Really?! I think he's better. He actually feels chilly now."

Rachel shook her head, "Oooh nooo, honey!! That's baddd! He's 'bout ta have a heat stroke!!"

A/N how long can they pretend to be engineers?😂 Smexy shenanigans ahead...Keep reading!
BiTSi-bug 🐞

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.