April 1998 | seventh year
Draco sat on the train in an empty compartment. He watched as the trees went by, the fog and mist covering the dull weather. It was raining, raindrops on the edge of the glass window, small drops falling slowly. It looked, how he felt...
Draco Malfoy was no longer the obnoxious bad boy or the school bully. Draco no longer felt alive. He felt like he was a ghost watching the world move on. He felt like he was being forced to live.
He is missing from his own existence.
Not only is he death eater but he has to work for the dark lord. A slave to the devil himself.
Draco couldn't remember the last time he smiled, felt happy, felt alive. Felt anything. Not since the summer before the sixth year. Voldermort gave him the dark mark one summer day. He remembered it was a sunny day, it didn't seem real at the time. But as soon as the Dark Lords wand hit his forearm, he felt immense pain. Like his arm was on fire. After that he was different. He only felt pain and sadness.
'He deserves this' he thought to himself.
Draco bullied students at Hogwarts, he was rude and cruel. But, this was all he knew, he has never felt love, not from his father. He felt small amounts of love from his mother but even she was terrified of Lucius. Lucius was a violent man. Ge held no emotions and didn't show any to anyone. He abused Draco growing up, both verbally and physically.
Some may say that this is the reason why he is how he is. But no one knew Draco that we'll. No one was close enough to see how deep he was hurting. No one understood him.
Yes, Draco wanted to be powerful, to be feared by his classmates because his father told him so. Lucius was a monster, some may think Draco is too. But are monsters born or created? Lucius was born a monster. Draco, however, has dreams and a happy soul. A soul that was slowly turned into a monster. Broken.
But as he grew older, he realised that he didn't want that. But it was too late. Then to make matters worse, before he even got the chance to redeem himself, he was made a death eater. Now he was stuck. There was no freeing him. No escaping.
Last year Draco was given a task by the dark lord, a simple task you may think. But it caused Draco to lose his friends, he became depressed. Lonely. Over summer he attempted to kill Dumbledore but was unsuccessful, Snape was the one to kill him.
You may think that he was a coward for not killing him. It may have seemed simple. But Draco was no killer, he wasn't an assassin. He spent the weeks before not being able to sleep, having nightmares and panic attacks. It seemed like Draco was fine but deep down he wanted to die. He never wanted to kill someone, to take someone's life. Draco was many things but he wasn't a killer.
Now, April 1998. Draco is on his way to Hogwarts for his last term. Draco would be thrilled to get out of this school but Draco fears what's to come, what will happen after the war, who will win? Will he die? Draco didn't care if he died, he may even want to die.
Draco hears the train come to a stop. He grabs his bag and strides out, on to the platform. Hagrid waving to everyone to follow him. Draco walks behind, keeping his distance from everyone, Even his classmates such as Blaise and Theo, Crabbe and Goyle.
At dinner, that evening, he sat by himself. Everyone else laughing and talking among their friends but Draco just sits there, with his head in his hand. He didn't even think, he had no thoughts. His world was extremely quiet. Everything else seemed like a blur.