Corruption (Illumi x Killua)

Chapter 5

Killua stares at the cracked wall as the old clock ticks loudly and endlessly. It’s been a silent night, one without any tint of existence.

During his ghost-quiet and corrupted life, he learned that love is only an illusion for those who refuse to accept the cruel reality. No one cares about him, but about what he can offer.

The pupils in the little assassin’s eyes have faded with time. He finally became what he was supposed to become at the beginning of his life, a ragdoll to be hurled and thrown around like garbage.

Every time he’d tell himself that soon everything will become alright and he won’t have to worry anymore, he only ends up failing miserably and giving up on his already degraded hope.

No human would be able to experience what he does and get over it without any type of trauma and permanent scars. Not long after being fully broken, he began getting used to the daily pain and abuse. He even started liking it, craving it like it was his only source of water on a planet made out of hot desert-sand.

His younger brother, Kalluto, was nowhere to be found. All he remembered were his agonizing and blood-gurgling screams of help and how helpless he was. Instead of making new, beautiful memories with his dear brother, he will have to be forever stuck with that horrific image implanted in his head.

No one would understand how Killua felt inside while he was being taken advantage of and raped. It was like being trapped in a cage with bars made out of poisoned needles, or perhaps, wanting to scream but having no mouth.

It’s truly pathetic how everybody is talking about Karma, about a non-existent entity that punishes individuals based on their actions. Killua knows too well that Karma is not real and it will never be. It’s nothing more but made-up crap created by hopeless people with the poor excuse to believe in their own lies that their culprit will get what they deserve one day.

The pain in his chest stimulates whenever his mind processes a faded image of his older brother. From an idol to a monster, then back again to an idol.

The poor boy’s feelings were so twisted and messed up that he can’t manage to adapt to them or at least understand them. One day, he hates him for his corruption, and then the next day, he loves him despite all of his wrongdoings.

His reflection is what scared him the most. He couldn’t recognize himself, it felt as if he was staring at a completely different person.

His vision was slowly bending into a foggy conception of his surroundings. His legs were trembling and in pain as if he was walking on a path made of sharp knives.

Suddenly, he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. As he turned around, he looked naively at his older brother and gently tilted his head in confusion.

“Big brother?” He asked in a trembling tone.

“It’s time for you to go,” Illumi replied, in his usual cold tone.

Deep down, in his rock-hard heart, he genuinely loved toying with Killua, but he knew that he to get rid of him at some point.

Killua silently looked at him with his mouth slightly open, he didn’t understand what he meant by that, but it gave him a bad sensation of fatigue and distress.

“I don’t get it...” He murmured.

His brother crouched in front of him at his level and kissed his lips without any other word. He raised his needle and prepared himself to pierce it in his brother’s brain to kill him.

Killua hugged him tightly and placed his head gently on Illumi’s shoulder. He was trembling and grinding his teeth against each other.

“I can be useful! Please don’t kill me!” His screams echoed in the empty room. His tears poured endlessly, wetting Illumi’s clothes. His hands were gripping his brother’s firm body like his life depended on it.

He didn’t want to leave him, not yet. He was willing to sacrifice everything just to hold his older brother’s hand one last time.

“I need you! I promise I will be a good toy, don’t kill me! I will do whatever you want, just let me be with you. I’ll do whatever it takes, no matter what...” His sobs were getting louder and louder. He couldn’t control himself anymore.

“No.” He coldly responded.

“I beg you! I need you, I crave you, I need you in my life! You’re the only one I live for!” He cried out.

No response, just silence, and pain.

“I love you...” He softly said before closing his eyes and accepted his cruel fate.

Illumi hesitated for a second before pushing his brother away from him while smiling maniacally.

“That’s a pleasant idea. Maybe I really should keep you alive, as my pet, for all eternity.” He chuckled and kicked Killua in his already bruised abdomen.

Killua moaned at the impact in pleasure and touched the place where he got hit. The pain was so sweet and fulfilling.

He stood up and smirked after seeing Killua’s perverted reaction at the pain caused by him.

Killua forgot about all the unspeakable and horrid things his power-hungry brother did to him. He forgot about how scared he was when he first got raped by him. He forgot about the cruel abuse and negligence he went through. He even forgot about what Illumi did to his younger brother, Kalluto.

It was as if he had no past. No memories and no feelings, just one purpose, serve his superior.

“On your knees.” Illumi ordered.

Killua smiled sweetly and followed his dear brother’s command without any hesitation.

“I love you.” Killua admitted, for one more last time.

This is the tragic story of a boy named Killua Zoldyck.

A young boy whose fate was condemned by his own brother. The one who was supposed to help him and shape him into the perfect assassin transformed into his worst nightmare.

Sometimes it’s better to die than to live a life full of regrets and sorrow.

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