This Time I'm Ready To Run.

Girl Talk

One of the many things Harry has told me is that he’s on tour.

In fact, he told me this on the very first day we met.

Now call me clingy but, he won’t be able to make it on my birthday-- He’ll be in Japan. I know I don’t mean much to him but I thought it’d be nice. Blossom, you’re thinking way ahead of yourself. It’s February. Next month he will be going to Switzerland, so I am extremely lucky that I have a month with him. I just don’t want to forget how to be friends. Bloss, you don just forget.

Anyways, Harry and I are in the kitchen eating a salad. Normally salads aren’t a thing that I’d like to eat, but today I begged him for it. Normally Harry and I would be very talkative but today, no. And the bad thing is, it’s my fault. Also my job’s fault. I’m busy writing my book. Don’t get me wrong, we are talking, just not as much today.

“So, what are you writing about?” He asks, heading over to the sink. Now I’m not very sure about what I’m writing, so that isn’t great. I mean I have an idea. But the truth is, I’m just rolling with it. Either way, I don’t want to tell him, as if we do stay as friends when the book gets published, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

“Not telling you,” I smile, still concentrating on my screen. I peer up as I hear the kettle boiling. Harry walks up, leaning on the island so he’s opposite me. I try not to look as I will go red.

Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I look up at his green orbs, and I feel myself going redder and redder. His jaw bites down at the apple while he looks into my eyes. Butterflies dance in my stomach as I look away, back at my document.Help.“Why not?” He asks whilst I feel his eyes glancing at me. I won’t tell him. I won’t tell Emma. I won’t because I want it to be a surprise.

“Because I’m not,” I say, looking at him again. My heart starts to pound as I see him smile. Why? Do I have a pimple on my face? Is my face really that bad? I didn’t put make-up on today. Bloss, you never put make-up on. “Why are you smiling Harry? What’s wrong?” I start patting my face, trying to find a reason why.

Dragging me out of my own little world, I feel him take my wrists. Help. My lungs are going to explode. Or maybe the opposite. All air leaves the house, as he chuckles, placing my hand down on the counter. “No reason,” He smiles again. Typical Harry. We stare in silence. Not an awkward silence. At all. He turns his head as he and I hear the kettle stop. “Want a cup, love?” He says, getting up from leaning on the counter. I shake my head no, before getting on with my writing.

I haven’t called Emma yet. I need to do that. Harry will understand, right? I’ll feel so awkward about having to walk away. It’s fine, Bloss. He’s making tea. Or coffee. I silently shut my laptop and arise from the stool. “Hey,” Why did I say that? A ‘I’m going to call Emma now’ would be good.“I’m going to call Emma if that’s okay?” Why am I making this so awkward? He doesn’t have any control over me and I doubt he wouldn’t allow me to make a call.

I start walking away, trying to find my phone in my pocket. I left it back with my laptop. Well done Bloss, make it more awkward for yourself.“Love?” Harry calls from the kitchen. I can almost hear his grin.“I think you forgot something.” No way, Sherlock. I walk into the kitchen to collect my phone and leave the room as casually as possible.

Until I trip over absolutely nothing!

I hear him snort before taking another bite of his apple. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking!” I say in the most sarcastic voice.

“You’re welcome, love!” He chuckles. I bite my tongue, trying not to laugh as I walk away from the incident. This time I unlock my phone. “Say hi to Emma for me,” He shouts from the other room.

And the phone starts ringing.

“Hey, Ems!” I say, holding my phone up so I’m in frame. I have realised that there is so much to tell her. I mean, not really. Me and Harry are friends- no she already knows that. I guess the updating department is empty.

“Hey Bloss, how are you?” You don’t know how nice it is to hear bubbly Emma.“I see you’re still with Harry then,” She says “Let me guess, you and Harry have kissed! No, wait- you’re dating him?”

She’s very wrong. I mean why would he remotely want to kiss me. His lips are plump and perfect, mine are the opposite. Blossom, get a hold of yourself. I feel my cheeks turn a different shade. She can tell I’m thinking.“No, No. Harry and I aren’t datin-”

“So what are you doing here?!” She shouts out. I think Harry could’ve possibly heard.“Bloss, go chase the man of your dreams,” I stare at her with a red, blank face “I can already see you being the next big couple.” She will never know how wrong she is.

“Ems, no! Never. Not in a million years.” I say, still going red. She cocks her eyebrows. How dare she.“Emma no! I don’t want to be out there in the world. I would very much love to stay in a little bubble.”

“Bloss, what if your book becomes the next big book? Then you won’t have a choice.” She’s very right. But, I very much doubt that my book will become the next big book. Considering I’m still unsure what it’s fully about, there is a very slim chance of it.

“Still no.” She cocks her eyebrows again “I still won’t. I mean, I don’t want to be labelled ‘Harry Styles’ girlfriend’ or ‘Harry Styles’ closest friend’ or ’Harry Styles curly-headed girlfriend. I want people to buy my book because they’re interested in my book, not because of Harry.” She nods in agreement. That’s lucky.“Not as if we will ever date. But then, either way, those labels would still come across, even if we are just friends. Which we are. So..”

She nods again “Yeah. I get it. Anyways, how is the book going?” She says, bubbling up like a fizz ball. I didn’t tell Harry so I’m not telling Emma. I mean, like I said, not 100% sure what it’s about.

I take a long sigh. “Not telling.”

“Aww, please?”

“No.”

“Why”

“I said no Emma!”

“Okay okay. Have you and Harry slept in bed with each oth--”

“NO! And shush, keep it down, Harry is in the other room.” I whisper “No, Harry has a spare room. I’ve been sleeping in there.” I say. I mean there’s not any more to it. It’s simple. Harry and I are only friends meaning, we sleep separately.

“That’s going to change--”

“Emma!” I shout.

“Anyways, is your lover meant to be on tour or something? I mean, isn’t he meant to be doing singing stuff?”

“He’s on tour. He is going to Switzerland in March, then April, he’ll be dotting around Europe and Oceania, then in May he’s going to Asia. This month he has free. Although he won’t be on stage on the 17th he won’t be here. The 12th is his last day in Japan, then he has until 23rd free.” I pause. She’s laughing. Why?

I was rambling.

“You’re totally in love.” I’m not. Love is a strong word. Very strong. I shake my head no. “Girl, you’re are thinking way into the future. It’s only February the 6th!” Oh god. Now I know I have been thinking far into the future but that’s because I need to stop improvising. I need to think of any possible things that can happen, thus thinking into the future. But I won’t tell anyone that. Not even Emma.

“Emma...” I say in a timid voice, going redder by the second. “So, how have you--”

“No,” Emma cuts me off. We both sit there in silence. I’m so confused.“Bloss, go get your man! You very clearly like each other!” Not true.“So, what are you waiting for?”

“Emma, I don’t like hi--”

“Rubbish! Now go fight for him!”

As soon as I know it, she ends the call.

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