This Time I'm Ready To Run.

Five Hearts In One Home: 2

It’s dinner.

It’s safe to say I’m at least going to throw a knife at someone. Though I’ve loosened up, it doesn’t make a difference how nervous I am. And improvising is not an option.

Slowly, taking my time, I make my way downstairs. I can’t. My hands are clammy, my feet are sweating and I don’t know how to move. I stop mid-stair and try and distract my self with something. Think fast. I turn to the wall to be accompanied by pictures of baby Harry. He looked adorable. This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever se--

“Love?” He takes me out of thoughts “They love you, promise.” He says. I looked down at him and frown.

“Harry, you interrupted my head’s thoughts.” I smile. He apologised smiling back at me. “She or he was saying how cute your baby pictures are.” He moves up the stairs so we are face to face, eye to eye.

He smiles again “You sure you’re okay, love?” He asks. I am okay. But am I going to be okay? No. That was a lie: of course, I’m nervous, I’ve never met someone’s parents before, only Emma’s.

I nod hesitantly. “I think so,” He stares straight at my lies. He knows.

Harry holds my hands. My clammy hands.“Love, you don’t need to be nervous. Please, they love you. They think you’re amazing. I promise.” I blush. Get your act together Blossom.

I stand up straight, I do a little shake, taking deep breaths in and out then look at him. “I’m ready.”

I walk down the stairs and make it to the table without falling, tripping or ruining a single thing. Maybe I’m not that bad after all. Or maybe this is a one-off.

All the plates of food get brought to the table. “I hope this is okay.” Although I’m nervous, I can’t just stare at Anne with a blank face.

“I’m sure it will be” I smile. Anne nods and sits down in her chair. I bite into the lasagne. In all honesty, this is one of the best meals I have ever had. I feel Anne’s eyes on me. For every right reason, of course. I smile and take another bite.

“So, where do you come from?” Gemma asks, eating her food.

“A small area called Slough. It’s about an hour’s drive from London.” I smile, taking another bite of the dinner.

“Ever been up this part of UK?” She asks. I shake my head no.

“Ohh. Well then, welcome.” She turns to Harry “So Harry, what have you’ve been up to?” She asks.

“Tour.”

“Don’t you have February free?” She asks.

“Yeah, so I tried to find a small area to go to. I found a park in slough then met Bloss.”

They talk for some time and then a question pops up. The question.“So, you two dating?” Gemma asks drinking her water. Harry and I’s head shoots up at her. Not because of the water, because of the question. My heart races and my palms are suddenly sweating again.

“Gemma!” Anne says. “Give them some privacy,”

“Sorry,” She says.

“No, no we’re not dating.” At least I didn’t have to answer the question.

Gemma’s head turns to me and Harry. “I like her.” She says. I feel my face turn pink. “I can tell that she’s not like the Carolina.” Now I can guess that that’s his ex and the way she says it is as if it’s a nickname. I won’t ask Harry about it as I don’t need to. He needs his own time to tell me.

I look up at Harry, already staring at me, he smiles and turns to Gemma. “Good, I like her to.”

My mouth drops and his smile appears.

Dinner couldn’t have been better.


“Harry, it’s your room, you take the bed!” I squeak. We look at each other. My heart starts beating rapidly.

“You’re the guest. You take the bed.” He smirks.

I give him a frown. It’s not that hard. If you own the bed, you sleep in it. “No! I’m sleeping on the floor,” I whisper. He gives me a frown before holding my shoulders. He looks deep into my eyes. I didn’t ask or didn’t know we would be sleeping here. But, it does make sense if we did, it’s his family.

“Blossom.”

“Harry.”

“Take the bed!”

Not again.“No!”

“Why don’t we both take the bed?” He whispers in the loudest yet quietest voice he can. My jaw has suddenly detached from my face. I don’t know why he’d say that. Friends don’t do that. Even some boyfriends and girlfriends don’t do it!

I don’t know how to argue back with it. I’m speechless.“Harry, I-” How do I word this? “That’s-” I can’t even finish a sentence.“But isn’t that..” I don’t even know what I’m saying.“doesn’t that mean sleeping together? We can’t, I’m me, you’re you and even if I said yes you’d be sleeping on the layer on top of my layer so there is no physical touching.”

I see his grin. Rambling isn’t a thing I do for fun. It isn’t fun.

“Why don’t we do that then? I don’t want you to sleep on the floor as I’m the one who bought you here in the first place,” good point. I yawn before he continues. “And you don’t want me to sleep on the floor as it’s my bed.”

I have two valid options:

1. making my tired butt push the argument that I’m not sleeping on the bed, I’ll be on the floor and most likely lose.

2. save my tired butt, and sleep on different layers on the bed, letting him win.

Either way, he is most likely going to win each option so, I’ll save my tired butt.

“Fine! Fine! But there are rules. No touching and I get the warmest layer, the layer with two duvets.” I sigh and walk over to the bed. “I’m too tired for this.” I wipe my eyes and yawn again. I feel his eyes on me as I gravitate to the bed. His smile shines through as he walks over to me, moving on the bed too.

He lays down, facing my way. I shut my eyes yet still feel his eyes studying my face. I open them back up. He’s leaning over to me? What? My heart starts racing, my palms become sweaty and my lungs unable to work.

“I won.” He whispers in my ear before I fall into a deep sleep.


I awaken with the warmth of Harry by my side. We’re a little closer than expected. I got hot during the night, so I slept on top of both duvets. His body is so warm.

Harry’s not awake so I’ll let my eyes wander around the room. The sun pours out of the window by his desk, bouncing on the bed. His shelf up above his bed with a trophy and some pictures on it. I look over to the other wall and see he has drawings on the wall. I look at where we are, the bed and see Harry smiling and looking at me and--

Harry’s looking at me?

“Good morning, love.” He says in his morning voice. His morning voice is by far the best thing about him. “You sleep well?” He says still cuddled up to the sheets.

“Yes, yes I did sleep well.” It wasn’t a total lie.“I mean I was hot all night so I slept on top of the layers all night, making myself to cold. I fell asleep eventually, though.” I smile.

“You was cuddled next to me last night.” He smiles. He’s lying, right? I mean why would I do that. That’s something he would do. “Guessing you broke your own rules then,” He says, head is hidden in the pillow.

My face goes red, my lungs squeeze, the heart beats rapidly. “No, I didn’t.” Now thinking about it, that’s probably the reason why I was warmer last night, or how close we were when I woke up. But I refuse to believe I broke my own rule.

“Love, I was sleeping, being a gentleman and not breaking the rules then you rolled over so we were both touching with the sheets between us. As you already broke the rules I didn’t back away.” Oh. God.

I cover my face from the world and I feel like crying. I’m embarrassed. “But-” I sit up and rub my eyes “But it-” he places his arm over my legs and I go even redder. “I couldn’t of,” I say looking down at his tattoos as that’s the only thing that won’t judge me.

He tightens his grip around me. I don’t even care. He’s warm and considering I broke the very strict set of rules, it’s the least he can do. “I’m not complaining.” He smirks hiding his face on the pillow by my waist. “I’m happy you slept okay.”

I fiddle with my fingers in disbelief. “How long were you looking at me for?” I ask in the most timidest voice.

“I felt you moving around so I woke up to see what you’re doing, that’s all,” he smiles. I look at his clock. It’s 6 am. I decide to lay back down. Harry still has his arm around me, and his face is still cuddled beside me. Harry has done so much during the day we’ve spent here. He packed me an outfit that I have already known. So I’m guessing these are his favourite outfits of mine. He wanted me to sleep with him.

We stare at each other. There’s not too much to stare for him. My brown eyes aren’t exiting so I don’t know what he’s looking at with a smile on his face. I, on the other hand, has lots of things to stare at.

I study his green eyes. I’ve never seen eyes so perfect. There are specs of yellow in them making them have more colour to them. Then I realise how lucky I really am. Thousands upon thousands of screaming girls would die to be here today. And I’m not one of those girls. I never have been. Yet here I am today. People would die to be here and here I am acting like it’s nothing. I mean meeting Anne was nerve-wracking. It was fair enough exciting to meet Harry, let alone him wanting to speak to me, yet it was so normal. He didn’t seem like he was the media trained person he is. He’s Harry. Not Harry Styles. People would treasure this moment forever. Me, this is a thing that can happen whenever. Of course, being here I do cherish but I feel like I don’t do it enough. I feel spoilt. I feel guilty. I feel like a brat for being able to see him each day for free.

My eyes start to sting so I blink as hard as I can to make them go away. They don’t.“What’s on your mind, love?”

I guess the only thing left to do is tell him.

“People every day would do anything to be in my position right now.Anything.But I’m here as if it’s nothing. People would cherish this moment and I don’t. Of course, I love this and I care. But people would care so, so much more.” I start sobbing. “I feel guilt, Harry. I feel spoilt. I don’t deserve these moments, let alone deserve you.” I cry making the pillow wet before he holds me in his arms. Butterflies dance in my stomach as he holds my head to his chest.

“Love.” He whispers, pulling me back, then staring into my eyes. He wipes away my tears before continuing. “Love, you do amaze me sometimes. People can think that they hate you because you’re here with me, though you’re the nicest person I know. That’s why there’s hate everywhere. You deserve all the moments in the world. You deserve me because you’re here. If you didn’t deserve me, I wouldn’t be here with you now. I would let you be here with me now. I love my fans. They are truly amazing. But I don’t play a game of ‘who can get me first’. I can fall in love with a fan. Love is love. But I can fall in love with people who aren’t. Like you, you don’t consider yourself a fan, yet you’re still my closest friend.”

He holds me in his arms. “Thank you, Harry,” I say timidly. We hold each other for a while longer as he brushes his fingers through my hair, spreading goosebumps all over. I’ll always have this guilt. But at least I can get a reassurance that I’m wanted here.


“Harry, can you help me with something quick!” Anne calls from the kitchen.

Harry sighs as he looks at me. “You get ready. I’ll be in the kitchen.” He smiles. His lips roll in has he glares at my face. He gets up from his bed and makes his way down the stairs.

Now I have many outfit choices. But I’ll go with the one on the beach as it’s the warmest outfit there. I slide the jeans on before strolling down the stairs. May I just add, I did not fall. I deserve a medal or something like that.

I make my way to the kitchen and pause.

“She’s amazing, she really is,” Harry says to his mother. What is he talking about?“She’s brilliant. She makes me so happy. She’s great.” I don’t know what they’re talking about at all. But I can’t and won’t interrupt. Whatever he is talking about he very clearly is passionate about her. I don’t know what to do. Anne’s cat nuzzles at my ankles as I listen.

“She means so much to me. I’m so lucky.” Harry continues.

“Blossom is clearly special to you.” They’re talking about me. Me. He’s saying those things about me. I mean a lot to him. He finds me amazing. I make him happy. Not a model. Not a singer or an actor. Me.

I blush profusely and I hear Gemma walk down the stairs. I can’t even think straight.“You’re all that he can think about.” She nudges my arm and enters the kitchen. I need some air.

I walk over to the back door and I slide it open. The air is cool the sun shining brightly. The clouds are grey and the floor is damp. I sit on the table. I take deep breaths in and out and try to breathe.

Harry says I mean a lot to him. He says he cares. That’s, not something I hear every day. He means a lot to me too. He’s the reason I’m here. He’s the reason why I leave the house. I couldn’t be more grateful.

“It’s cold out here isn’t it?” Anne says closing the door. She sits beside me. “You alright?” She asks.

“Yeah, just got a lot on my mind.” Too much on my mind.

“He talks about you so much.” I look at her and smile. “I’m guessing you heard him?” She chuckles. I nod. She wraps her arm around my back. I lean my head on her shoulder and smile. “We’re so glad you’re here. He was so nervous you wouldn’t come.” I look at her as she passes me a cup of tea. “Let’s get you inside.”


I can’t get out of my mind the fact that I mean so much to him. I guess I never really think about it. I talk to Emma about him. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting me to be the one Harry talks about. It’s been on my mind all day. All day. I understand it’s only 3 pm but, it hasn’t left my mind.

Let’s get it off my mind.

I slip on my shoes and put on the first coat I see and leave the house. I start walking and walking. I don’t know where I’m going. I walk past a Chinese shop, the smell filling the air. The air is crisp making my fingertips cold.

The bell rings as I walk into a shop. It smells like fresh goods, sheltering me from the spring coolness outside. I haven’t brought any money. I’m not planning on buying anything. I was just getting too cold.

All the workers stare at me. I go completely red.

“Welcome to W Mandeville, my name’s Barbra what can I get for you today?” She asks behind the counter.

“Nothing thank-you,” I say. I’ve also realised I didn’t tell anyone I left. Probably should’ve done that."

“That’s okay, take a seat if you’d like.” She says.

“Thanks,” I say before walking over to the seats. I see a picture of younger Harry holding a piece of bread. I don’t bother reading anything and just take a seat. I play with nothingness on the table. The place is empty and there’s only one thing that I can think about. Harry.

I check my pockets. I bought my phone. Thankfully. I pull out my phone and call Harry. He immediately answers his phone. “Where are you?” He says in a rushed tone in his voice “Where have you gone?” I made him worry. I feel so guilty.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” I say in a dull voice. “I’m at the Mandeville bakery. Sorry again, just needed to breathe.”

“It’s alright love, take your time. You okay?” He asked still sounding worried. How do I tell him without telling him? Although I shouldn’t rely on Emma, what would she do?

“Yeah, I’ve just got a lot of things on my mind I guess.”

He takes his time to answer. “you can always talk to me, love.” There’s a short silence. “Take your time.” I sound like he had moved slightly. “Dinner will be ready by 6,” at least he cares about my health “As I said, take your time. Call me if need be.”

I smile. “Thank you, Harry.”

“Tell Barbra I say hi.” I look over at all the workers. “The one with the dark grey hair” He chuckles.

“Will do, Harry. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I immediately spot Barbra and walk up to the counter. How do I say this without being creepy? Just do it, Blossom.“Hello, this must be Barbra,” I say. My hands go sweaty. Too sweaty.

“Yes, dear?” She smiles.

“Well, Harry told me to say hi.”

Her face lights up immediately. “Awww. Say hi to him for me.” I see happiness in her eyes as she continues. “I hope he’s doing okay. Who are you, my dear?” She must be close to him.

I smile. “I’m Blossom, Harry’s friend.”

“Ohhh. The girl he’s been talking about lately,” I smile even bigger. “Well then, welcome to Homles Chapel, Blossom. You can visit any time you’d like!”

The stay here at Harry’s home has been so welcoming so far. I couldn’t be more grateful.

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