This Time I'm Ready To Run.

Picture Perfect

Genuinely, what could have possibly happened?

Did I do something wrong? He’s acting like a kid who broke his mum’s TV.

“Blossom,” Harry says faintly behind the door. Am I overthinking this? Because something must be wrong. He’s just acting very suspicious and I don’t know why.

“Harry,” I say croakily in a slightly aggravated manner. Why can’t he just tell me whats going on? It’s not that hard. You open your mouth and speak. One of the most easiest things possible. I can do it. Some things I can’t but... I still can. So he can too. Right?

“Can I come in, love?” He asks, still behind the door. I turn to the window looking at the birds flying past. Ow. My head is pounding.

“Mhm,” I mumble. Slowly, the door creaks open. I turn to Harry as he walks in. He still looks guilty. “Harry just tell me what’s going on! Why do you look so concerned? Is it to do with me? Is something on my face?” I take a breath “Did I do something? How bad is it? If it was me what did I do? Why do you look like something bad’s happened? Are you okay, did you do something?” Another breath. “Just tell me.”

He opens his mouth before shutting it back up again. Why can’t he tell me? “Love, I-” He pauses.

I stand up and steadily walk over to him. “You know what,” I say face to face, muscles hurting like crazy. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

He watches me leave the room. I feel like the option I chose was the easiest there was. When he’s ready, he will. Of course, I’d love to know but I can’t and won’t force it out of him.

I walk into the kitchen and grab the paracetamol from the cupboard. I take a glass and swallow. I don’t know where to really go. I mean I’m in his house and I don’t feel the best. I walk over to the living room and lay there watching the fire crackle.

It’s peaceful, it doesn’t hurt, I like it. Then my phone starts buzzing. Emma. I pick it up.

“Hey, Bloss! Have you seen what’s going around right now?” Huh? That went from 0 to 100 real quick.

“No? What’s going around?” Who else is confused? Blossom, no one else is in your head!

“Harry hasn’t told you?” She snickers. So this is the thing that Harry isn’t telling me about. My anxiety creeps up waiting for her to tell me. I shake my head no. “There’s pictures of you two around the internet at the moment. You two in a car.”

My heart sinks. No. No, not now. We didn’t have any time? My eyes swell up, tears forming as she continues. “It says: ‘Watermelon sugar singer caught with a curly brunette girl’ "

She’s joking, right?

“He really hasn’t told you?” She asks staring at me through the camera. What am I going to do? I’m not going to look into it as I am too scared to do so. What will I do?

“Show me the picture?” I think I’m going to pass out. She waves the paper around. And I sigh. My face isn’t shown. If it did show my face, I’ll just die right there on the spot.

Tears fall. I’m so overwhelmed. Why did this happen so quickly? “I think I’m gonna go, Ems,” I whisper. I rub my tears away.

“Okay... Get well soon Bloss” I smile. “Love you!” And I end the call.

And I lay there, sobbing.

I hear footsteps down the hallway. Harry.

I move my legs as he sits there in his usual spot. “I’m guessing she told-”

“Why couldn’t you of told me?” I wimp, not making any eye contact with him.

“Blossom I-” He pauses. I look up at him for a slight second and look away. “I didn’t want you to be mad at me. I promised this wouldn’t happen but it did. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.” His voice cracks.

There’s a small silence. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know.” I stay still. I’m so speechless. “Bloss, I’m sorry I should’ve told you.” I stay still once again. “Love, please say something,”

“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper. What am I suppose to say to this piece of information?

“Bloss, I’m sorr-”

“It’s fine.”

I sit up slowly and turn to him. “I want to go home, Harry.” His eyes are red. He looks so sad.

He opens his mouth and closes it again. “I understand.” He looks down and fiddles with his rings. He tightens his jaw. “I’ll be in the car.” He whispers.

We look at each other one last time before he walks away.

There’s this coldness between us that can only be fixed by leaving for a while. Harry isn’t making that easy. I feel bad but this is the right thing to do.

“Love, will we..” He pauses and looks down at our feet. “Ever see each other?” He asks. Told you: not making things easy. He fiddles with his nails, picking off the blue nails not making any eye contact, eyes full of tears. As I said, I feel bad but, by leaving it for a few days, maybe things will be better.

His jaw clenching trying to hold back tears. I wish I could say yes. I wish I could jump back into his car but, I can’t. I care about him, every time I see him smile it makes my insides smile. He makes me happier than I expected and wanted but that’s what people can do. But, I have to stick to what I said about going home.

Sometimes it’s good to take breaks.

Now, I did question myself: what if I’m just running away from my problems? And I came to one answer:

I am.

It’s not healthy and not the right thing to do but I’ve never met someone as kind as Harry- other than Ems. I mean Harry doesn’t push anything out of me and he respects all my boundaries. Oxford Boy didn’t.

I remember once he wanted to know why wear my necklace everywhere I go and I didn’t feel like telling him. It’s not a case of I didn’t want to it was just that I couldn’t. It was too personal. He started shouting at me for keeping secrets so I tried to walk away, he blocked the door and slapped me.

That’s another reason why I didn’t leave him sooner. I was scared.

“Cause I want to see you again,” Harry says timidly, looking down at his shoes. I walk onto the step so we’re eye level. He slowly looks up into my eyes as I look into his. We hold contact for moments later.

All of a sudden we get closer. Closer than before. He parts his lips as I part mine. What’s happening? I get closer so our lips are almost touching. What am I doing? We both close our eyes taking in each other’s scent. I never knew he smelt this good. I feel his heat on my face, his minty breath travelling around. Butterflies begin to flutter into my stomach.

I need to stop this. This isn’t right.

I open my eyes, my head going back into place. My cheeks are hot red as was his. He must have felt my body warmth stray away as he opens his eyes, flustered.

I was flustered too.

What was I thinking?

“Harry, it’ll be like I never left, I promise,” I say at my doorstep.

“Please don’t be gone for too long,” He pleads.

“I won’t, Harry. I’ll be back,” He’s making it so hard to leave. But I have to. “Bye Harry,” I say looking into his eyes.

“Bye, Bloss.”



It’s good to be back. Although this is Emma’s home, it’s amazing to be back. We spring at each other hugging as tight a possible. “How have you been? You kissed him yet?” Well, actually I have. I also almost done it only a few seconds ago. I stare at her for a split second, smile and turn away.

I slip off my shoes. “What?” I head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “You’ve kissed him?” I smile even more without making eye contact. I feel my cheeks go a luminous pink. Oh god. “You’ve got to explain.”

So, she takes the glass out of my hand and drags me into the living room. I look at her blankly, checks still pink as ever. “Well?”

“He was drunk one night then he kissed me. That’s it.” Her face drops.

“That’s it?” I nod and smile “How did you act?”

I understand that this is not what she had in mind, I mean she is a romantic girl. “I urm...” She’s going to be so disappointed. “I didn’t know what to do at the time...”


“So I ran outside into the back garden.” I look down at my newly-fascinating hands and sigh.

“That’s it?” I look up at her grin. Why is she so happy? “He didn’t... come after you or... I don’t know, do anything?”

“No, No.” I smile. “I was outside and he came outside too. He asked if he did anything wrong and so I told him that I was fine and then I started to ramble on about how I wonder what would’ve happened if I did, something in my past, better.”

“Then he left?” I look at her. “If that boy left I going to-”

“Calm down, Ems,” I chuckle. “No, he then took me upstairs,”

“Oh. How romantic” He squeals “I can imagine it. Him taking you hand and-”

“He carried me.”

An even bigger grin appears on her face. “He’s totally in love.”

“With who?” I ask.

“With you, Bloss.” No, no he’s not.

“He was drunk,” I stand up and take off my coat.

“Drunk in love,” she fantasises. She’s so wrong. Number one, he does not love me. Number two, love is a very strong word and number three, he was not drunk in love, he was drunk from the alcohol.

“We almost kissed again,” I say in the smallest voice humanly possible. I look down at the material covering my legs. Her face drops more that I thought a face could. She then smiles.

“What?” She acts almost more surprised than me. “When?” She asks.

I decide not to reply. All I do is slide off my warm jacket and gravitate back into her view.

“So?” She asks sassily.

I smirk. “A moment ago,” I whisper. She waits for me to explain. I’m not getting out of this one. “I was on the doorstep and we got close,” She waits for the full-length story. I’m not giving it to her. “Ems,” She furrows her eyebrows. “Okay, okay,” I squeal. “He really didn’t want me to go. I went to the doorstep and we both naturally got close. My heart started to ache from feeling so full. It felt amazing. He smelt amazing too.”

Why did I say that? I chuckle at what I said “Then I backed down and told him I’ll be back,”

“Why didn’t you kiss him?!” She groans.

“Because we aren’t an item, Ems. We aren’t anything other than friends. And right now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I smile going red even thinking about it.

I wasn’t lying: I don’t want it to change. I mean I’ve still got a lot to learn about each other and I don’t want to force things and I don’t think Harry wants to either. Maybe one day we will be an item but I’m okay to wait as although I feel like I know him, that doesn’t mean I do. He could be a terrible person putting on a show for me. We’ll just have to find out. I want to take it slow either way.

She comes over to me and places her head on my shoulder from behind. “So, how was it? Were they nice?” She asks.

“Yeah, it was amazing, actually.” She raises her eyebrows to tell me to carry on “They were all lovely.”

“Where d’you sleep?”

Oh god.

“I told him to sleep in the bed, me on the floor but he wanted it the other way round.” I look to the side to not make any eye contact. “So we slept in the same bed...”

“Blossom you dirty girl!” I sneeze.

“Emma no!” I head to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. “We slept on different layers.” She cocks her eyebrows. Oh lord. I go red, as roll my eyes at her, pouring in the boiling water. “Want one?” I ask. She nods.

“I missed you.” She smiles.

“I missed you too.” I smile back. I juggle things around in silence other than the sounds of me places things and opening cupboards and fridges. “What did the article say, Emma?” I ask as I can’t and won’t look at any of them.

“They are just saying about a curly-headed girl who is in Harry’s car. Some of them say that you are his close friend, I’ve seen one where it said you two were a thing.” Not helping Emma. Blossom, you’re the one who asked for it.

“That it?” She nods. “So, how have you been?”

“Work, Lucus-”

“Lucus...!” I smile. “You two official yet?”

“Blossom, no!” She smiles sipping her tea. “We have been busy lately, he’s been working and I’ve been here waiting for something to happen.”

I look at her. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I frown.

“We’ve been talking still, don’t worry,” I sigh with relief “So, how long did you have to flu?”

“All week, really. It started to get worse around two days ago.”

“You’ve been taking meds, right?” She asks, concern written on her face.

“Yeah, it’s getting better,” I smile. “Well, I’m going to do some writing,”

“Sure,” She smiles.

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