This Time I'm Ready To Run.

Love Pieces

“Bl-”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” I shoot up pretending not to know him. I violently shake his hand. “I’m Blossom!”

“I’m James?” He questions. My heart races. That hand that I’m holding once slapped me, hit me and hurt me. The voice I’m hearing once broke me apart. And I’m disgusted that once, those lips touched mine.

I’m frightened that once, this man was the person I used to love.

The funny thing is: I thought he loved me too.

I’m disgusted by it all. The truth is, I’m still mad at him and I want to forget anything that happened between us. Forever.

I don’t want there to be an us anymore.

Kelsey stands in front of our shaking arms. “This is the supporting manager,” What?

I stay silent and look at them both. What do I say? James does his sickening smile, making my stomach churn. The smile I used to think was genuine and loving. I grit my teeth together and clench my hands. I want to get sucked whole. I don’t want to be here. “Brilliant!” not brilliant.

My eyes dart around the square room, trying to ignore as much as I can.

I remember what his hands feel like and he’s wearing the perfume I gave to him. He’s wearing the shoes I gave him, the heart I gave him.

I’ve still left some of me behind.

I just about mould a smile onto my face and look down at our feet to look away from the face that I despise of. “Anyways, tea? Coffee?” He asks her. I have two options with this: Leave and never come back or take the job as it’s the only job available as of now and I need the money.

“Tea would be great, James,” She smiles. And then he looks at me. Up and down. As if I’m a bug that needs to be squashed. As if I’m a haunted doll. He then disappears back into the shadows.

“You got the job,” She sits back down and leans on the table. And as soon as you know it, my options are no longer options and I can no longer say no. I need this money, and I need the job. “How’s 9 am each day? Working every weekday, weekends you have off.”

Blossom, be happy. You got what you wanted. A job so you can stop leaching off of people’s lives. You can’t act like that. I give a bright smile and put the thoughts behind me. “Great!” That was a slight lie.

“Okay, see you tomorrow at 9. Your shift will end at 15:00.” I stand up. “I’ll see you tomorrow,”

And she leads out of her office. “Blossom,” I hear from the distance. I turn to see James there in front of me. And his eyes are still cold. I still see the monster inside of him. It could come out any second. He can come out and tear me down again. But I won’t let it happen. Hopefully. “Blossom, can we talk out the back?” He comes closer and I flinch.

“No, actually,” Blossom be strong with this. He doesn’t control you, you do. “No, you can’t.” I give him a fake smile.

I start walking out the door, the cool, refreshing air hitting my face. I needed that. He follows. I ignore him, blood boiling. “Blossom,” Shouldn’t he be doing work?

He repeats my name again and again and again. Oh. My. God. How annoying can someone get? I may be biased, though. In front of me is a crowd of people, talking, shouting, laughing. Pretty much everyone is doing something. This can be a way I can escape the presence of James.

The Oxford Guy grabs my wrists. The anger is filling up inside me, bubbling like a shaken up coca-cola bottle. “Nothing happened, okay?” I shout, yanking his hand off of me. “I don’t know you anymore. I don’t want to know you!”

“Just give me a second chance!”

“You don’t deserve any second chances, I can’t believe I even gave you a chance in the first place.” He goes to touch me, I flinch once again. “No, don’t even think about it, James,”

“Just give me a second-”

“James, you hurt me!” Tears start to form as I reach my limit. I don’t know why he’s trying. “You hurt me inside and out. Who would ever give a second chance to you?!” I wipe the tears from my face. “Why don’t you get that?” I try to breathe. In... and out..... in... “When you love someone,” I say looking into his cold eyes “You try and put their pieces back together,” I take a deep breath “And you just chucked me away.”

And I walk into the sea of people.


“Why the fu-”

“Harry, it’s okay,”

Harry’s eyes turn cold and his hands clench as does his jaw. I can almost feel the anger bottled up inside him. “No, it’s not fucking okay!” He says trying to conceal himself.

“Ye-”

“No it isn’t Blossom,” He says, trying not to shout. “That man made you cry, that man is horrible. It’s not okay!”

Now, I have lied.

I didn’t tell him he used to physically hurt me. I’m not sure he’s going to find out. I can’t. I know he’ll feel guilt and in all honesty, it’s over now it doesn’t matter and he can no longer treat me like I have no worth.

“Harry, he’s nothing to be mad about.” I lean in and tangle my hands in his hair, trying to calm him down. His hair is fluffy and bouncy. His hair glows and his little curls fly out everywhere. I love his hair.

And I don’t love too many things.

Love’s a strong word.

“Blossom, why don’t you get it?” He questions. I get it. I get why he’s mad. I’m mad. But I don’t want him to worry more than I want to worry. ” Blossom, Mr-fucking-Oxford took you down. He made you feel trapped.”

“But Harry I’m now free.”

My second lie.

Now, I am free. But not as free as it sounds. I still have responsibilities and I still worry about everything. Not a big lie, but still a valid one.

He looks at me for a moment taking in my features, me taking in his. “I’m sorry, love,” He whispers. My heart melts as his soft side comes back into play. “I- I just. It’s not fair.”

“But Harry, life isn’t fair. People have things that others don’t. That’s life.”

We sit there taking in each other’s features again.

“Harry, the time,” He looks up. He looks puzzled. I would be too. I haven’t told anyone about this. “There’s this party tonight and I want to go. Emma should be there with Lucus. I want to surprise her.”

“Where’s my shoes?”

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