We'll Be A Fine Line
Never expected the pre-show would be so chaotic.
“Where’s Harry? Get Harry! He’s on in 10!” I hear Jeff say from afar.
“Harry’s here!” Someone shouts back, scattering Harry to Jeff. There are around 20 people with clipboards who are just rushing around, there’s Harry being taken from place to place and then there’s me.
If I’m being honest, I’m just watching the chaotic scene as if it were a movie. I’d rather not be part of it. I’m a prop. Like a tree in a school play. And I’m glad to be one.
“Where’s Harry’s shoes! Lambert, get Harry’s shoes!” Jeff says in the most rushed tone. I see Harry Lambert, his outfitter, squeeze through the cramp spaces between the moving group of warn out, stressed-out people. Everyone is wearing black. Big no-no. I mean you’re going to get hotter.
I’ve decided to wear a sage dress with tiny white flower silhouettes.
Also a huge mistake.
I watch Harry stare at himself in the mirror, fixing up anything he didn’t like about the outfit. Harry, may I just add, looks amazing. Absolutely stunning. The white, vertical lines and vest that contrasts the black suit matches him so well. And my necklace, wrapped around his bare neck. His hair is free and flowing immaculately. Simple, but effective.
No wonder he has so many fans.
Harry then turns to Jeff to see him talking to other people. He kinda looks relieved. Harry then darts over to me, his hair bouncing every time he takes a step. He raises his tattooed arms to my shoulder so that his cold rings touch my skin, making goosebumps take over.
“You alright?” He smiles over the people talking in the background, making me smile back. I nod. “I’m sorry, it’s a bit chaotic but you’ll soon get used to it,” He rubs my shoulder and turns back to see Jeff come our way.
He kisses my cheek before Jeff, his manager starts hollering. “Get Harry Styles on stage! Get him on stage!”
Harry gives me a weak but sympathetic smile before being pushed away by the crew with speaker headsets on. “He’s behind schedule, sorry if I come off as scary,” He smiles before going back to shouting. “Get the lights! He’s on, he’s on!” He then turns away from me, to the middle of the room “30 seconds left!” he hollers. Everyone seems to be moving a lot faster now, rushing to get things perfect before he sings his first line.
“Get Miss Blossom Harriet to the front!” He shouts.
“Follow us, Miss,” I follow them so I can see Harry, getting ready to perform. He stares at me and smirks. This is nerve-wracking.
I hear screaming fans from a distance as butterflies float around. I can’t believe he can perform in front of so many people. I couldn’t.
“Should we just search for romantic comedy and see what we find?”
The harmony of Only Angel begins to play, me only being more nervous for them. I mean, I know they can do it but, you can’t help but look at the crowd that could probably bite your head off without being somewhat nervous.
But I’m so excited too.
The lights start to glow as the start of the song plays on making everyone a little bit louder. He’s seconds away now. I grin and turn back to Harry with his arms by his side, wriggling them a bit. I turn back at the newly beaming lights.
He gives me a tiny wave before scooting over to the middle area of the stage. Probably has a proper name, I wouldn’t know.
It’s so close!!
The lights turn on as he runs towards the fans and the heavy instruments start blaring. Have I listened to any of his songs?
No. Other than Sign Of The Times and Kiwi.
Because I don’t need to and also because I wasn’t thinking about his music at the time. Big difference between Harry Styles and just Harry.
And plus, I’m listening to it now.
Harry puts his arms in the air, signalling for the fans to scream louder than ever. He then blows them kisses and does the sign language for thank you.
He starts floating around the stage, my heart pumping from the thrill of the first second of the show.
He looks at me and smirks again.
“Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see”
He grips onto the microphone and starts singing. His hair bounces up and down, as I stare at his jaw in awe. It’s shaped like an angle. Why is he so perfect?
The light reflects off of the edge of his side profile making him look like an angel. Pun not intended.
He then takes his hand and puts them behind his back, moving the jacket out the way. Everyone screams even louder.
I bop up and down to the song, enjoying it before it gets annoying. Not saying it’s an annoying song as it’s not but, I’ll be listening to it months on end and that could get a tiny bit annoying.
He turns to me. Harry, I’m not the crowd.
“Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short,”
He looks directly to my bottom half of the dress and then his eyes flicker at my blushing face then back to the crowd.
I watch as his dimples appear, him smiling. I smile at him, knowing he can’t see me, though.
He gravitates to the opposite end of the stage and dances to his song, making me smile, and it makes butterflies roam in my stomach. The crowd cheers but I choose not to, I don’t want to embarrass myself.
I clap my hand silently, or maybe it’s making a sound. I mean it’s pretty loud around here, so either way, it’s going to be silent.
“She’s an angel”
He starts walking back to the centre of the stage, him once again looking at me.
He makes direct eye contact.
“My only angel”
I smile and wave a little before he returns it with a bigger one and turns back to the crowd.
I’m not going to ignore the fact he looks directly at me to sing that line. I feel like I’m floating, it’s the best feeling in the world.
I look at his amazing and talented band. Sarah. I mean what can I say? I don’t think drums is an easy thing to learn yet she can play it and also look amazing doing so.
Before I could carry on, I look at Harry as the song comes to an end.
He takes his arms and throws them in the air as he looks up and shakes his head as a rock star would do.
Then, the lights turn off.
“This song is for an amazing person who is here tonight. If you know the words, please do sing along.” He says into the microphone.
He then looks at me.
I look down at my feet and then he starts strumming the guitar. I’m not going to be too dramatic but: I think the amazing person’s me.
My head flickers up to him as he gets ready to sing.
I need to go to the toilet but I have to wait again.
I realise that no one else is playing. All the lights have been turned off except for the one showcasing him.
“If I could fly,”
Butterflies roam as this is one of the only good memories I have after the death of my brother. I let the memories play in my head. I used to love this song from One Direction. I used to play it on repeat to escape from reality. I wasn’t a big fan of boy bands but One Direction were just five terrible dancers so I guess they were okay-er than any other bands.
My heart softens as I sway to the music. My heart racing still. Harry’s side profile looks amazing, everything glowing as he plays the guitar. I look at the crowd, who all have their flashlights on, making them look like stars. It’s so amazing.
My dad said my stars would align one day.
“For your eyes only, I show you my heart,”
I whisper the next lyrics in sync with him, as do the crowd.
“For when you lonely, and forget who you are.”
Him, me and the crowd. That’s it.
I shine a warm smile as the song goes on.
“and now you know me, for your eyes only.”
He looks at me and smiles.
He turns back to the crowd.
The moon necklace shines in the light, making me smile profusely. Definitely belongs to him. It suits him well. The twinkling flashlights make the necklace look like Tobs wants it to be on Harry too. And yes, I understand he’ll never forgive me.
I look down at his stepfather’s cross necklace and smile.
Coming to the end of the song, everything goes silent. The fans, the music, everything.
He stares at me, my heart going crazy.
“For your eyes only,”
He sings to me.
That was beautiful. I’m not going to recover, am I? Everything was perfect about it, his voice, the fans, the guitar.
I’m really at the peak of life, aren’t I?
I stare up to the ceiling of the room, making little shadows up above.
I’m feeling.. off.
Just because Harry performed amazingly doesn’t mean I can abandon the fact that someone’s been following me.
I have my suspicions, don’t worry, I’m not that stupid.
Harry has also been taking caution, not staying too far away from me.
I hum If I Could Fly as I lower my hands down to my stomach and stare at the blank ceiling as the rain hits the window. “Hey Harry,” I say as I hear Harry walk into the room. I pat the space next to me, indicating for him to lay there like me. He lays down and we both stare at each other. I watch him bite his pink lips, I watch his eyes study mine. I watch everything.
“You said I’m broken,” I whisper as if it’s top secret. He doesn’t respond. I turn my whole body to him as I play with his chipped, yellow nails. “Was it that obvious?”
He looks at my watering eyes. I can tell he is thinking of words to speak. “Well, you can’t seem to move on from your past. Your past is clearly important to you yet all you’ve said about it is terrible. This morning on the balcony, we’re were talking about the person who is following us. You told me that you didn’t want to die like that. Meaning you’ve thought of it.”
I go red at his explanation. It was pretty accurate. “Why didn’t you freak out when I said I killed my brother?”
He also turns his full body to face me. “I will never believe that you’ve killed someone. Never. Not until I’ve seen it. I understand that you could have killed him but I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to.”
He wipes my tears as he continues “You’re drowning in your own guilt and people don’t even notice.”
“The day you got the job, I made a song about you.”
All my bodily functions top working, except for the never-ending thoughts and emotions. I open my mouth but I physically can’t move. I see him smile slightly. It’s not his fault. He can’t 100% control what he writes.
But why me?
He stands up and I take his hand as he leads me to a piano in the corner that I never noticed.
The night sky reflects off of his bare back as he plays the song. I can tell he’s nervous. I understand why. I’m nervous if someone asks me where the nearest shop is, let alone a song.
“I’m in my bed, and you’re not here,”
He says in his slightly pained voice. I’m not sleeping with him or anything but maybe he just means not in the same building.
“What am I now? What am I now? What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”
“I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling.”
What does he mean by falling?
I stare at him in awe as he plays on. It’s still beautiful.
“And the coffee’s out, at the Beachwood Cafe,”
The cafe I got the tea at, the same day I met Harry. Maybe he went back there when I wasn’t around? I told him I lived past there.
“And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,”
Tears fill my eyes. It makes me feel like he’s drowning in his own emotions. It makes me so upset for him. I can tell he’s singing from his heart, with passion. I can tell he cares about the song.
I’ll always need you, Harry.
He takes a moment after the song to sit there with his eyes closed.
“It’s beautiful,” I smile in awe, the rain pouring harder. He turns to me and smiles.
I walk over to the piano seat and sit beside him, sitting on it like I would a horse. He delicately and slowly moves his hands to my waist as we look into each other’s eyes, ignoring the thunder. ”And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again. What do you mean?” I ask.
He starts holding my waist more firmly, not so it hurts, but it’s secure. “I thought once you got the job, you’ll never need me to be there, never need me to help. I didn’t want you to disappear from my life. We’re so different, Blossom.”
Our faces are closer. My heart starts pounding and my lips roll in. Butterflies float in my stomach. I study his soft, green eyes. “That’s why I need you,” I whisper.
Our lips crash together making me smile, lips not separating. He moves my hips closer to his, the thunder crashes outside. I then feel his dick against me, making me blush, wanting to kiss him more. I feel his tongue line my lips and I let him in. Our tongues begin to dance, my heart full of an unknown feeling.
My legs are over his lap as he picks me up, lips not leaving each other. His lips are so delicate and smooth it’s like cushions on my lips, our synchronised heavy breaths make my stomach flutter and everything inside of me want him more and more.
I don’t know what this feeling is, but it’s the best feeling in the world.
He takes us to the bedroom again, where we started as he lays me down, him towering over me. My eyes closed, I could see the light of lightning through the lids. Harry sucks all the air out of me making my thighs tingle, sending goosebumps to ignite my body.
Out of breath, I release the kiss, panting heavily close to his face. He starts to unzip my dress, his cheeks red. I’ve never been this bare in front of anyone before. But I trust him.
Our lips meet once again, needing each other, as he unclasps my bra leaving me just in my underwear, his necklace between my breasts. After he removes his own t-shirt, I wrap my tingling legs around his waist as he looks at my bare body.
He leans in, against my ear. “You’re so beautiful, love.”
He then starts kissing my ear making me whimper. I feel him smile as he makes his way down to my bare neck, sucking it intensely. In awe, I moan, clasping onto his brown hair. He looks up to me, smirking, then kisses me down my collarbone.
“You trust me?” He asks. I nod profusely before he reaches back to briefly kiss my red, beaten lips. After, he starts kisses slowly and delicately down my body, making me moan. I want this. I want him.
He kisses to my right breast, making me moan out his name. Didn’t mean to do that. He looks up at me again and smiles before he kisses my nipple making me whimper. He repeats with my other breast before his warm lips travel south, to my lower stomach.
Am I nervous, yes?
Will that stop me? No.
I give out a pleasant whine, making him smile against my bare skin. I want him so bad.
He reaches the line of my fabric. I don’t know how his lips don’t ache. I start breathing more heavily, slightly nervous. What if he doesn’t like it? Me?
I discard the negitave thoughts before he kisses me across the line. My chest rises as he starts to kiss over my fabric, to my clit. I moan out his name unconsciously.
He licks the fabric covering me, making me whine in satisfaction.
He makes his way back you to my lips as our tounges collide with each other. He then starts to grind against me. “Harry,” I moan out, making him smile. Our lips meet again as he starts to slip off the last piece of fabric I had left on my body.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I say, against his lips. He smirks at my statement and keeps kissing me.
“Try not to think much about it,” He pants out, still against my lips. “Either way, you’ll be perfect.”
I smile at his words, making my heart melt slightly, as butterflies roam my stomach. We caress each other’s lips in sync as he keeps grinding against my now bare body.
He slides on protection, our lips disconnecting partially. “I’ll tell you, don’t worry,” He says, moving back to my lips. He can tell I’m panicking.
“3,” He says, thunder crashing.
Lighting crashes as he slowly moves his way inside of me.
And he has taken away my virginity.
The uncomfortable feeling enters my body as he kisses me more, easing the pain slightly. “Should I stop?” He asks, worried for me.
I kiss his red cheek. I shake my head, trying to catch my breath. “Just go slow, Harry,” I smile. He dives deeper into me, making me whimper. Letting me breathe, he moves to my neck, where he sucks my skin, making me moan in pleasure.
“I’m going to start moving, okay? Tell me if I should stop.” I smile. He’s so worried. I nod before he starts doing as he said.
I whimper out his name, hands tightening the grip on his hair. I feel him moan against my neck, making me smile a little.
It’s so uncomfortable. It hurts like crazy.
It’s not a good experience at all. But what can I say, it’s going to hurt. It’s my first time.
He does it a little faster, making me moan. His delicate lips meet mine again. “Harry,” I whisper, him not stopping the fluid movement below. “Y-you’re a hypocrite,” I whimper out to him. He can tell I’m not finished so he kisses under my ear, making me smile. “You said to let the person I love, take me,”
I feel his soft smile appear. “Maybe” He pants against my ear. The feeling of him inside me is becoming less painful, still not the best experience but I wouldn’t stop it for the world. “Am I okay to go any faster?” He asks, in between kisses.
I nod into the crook of his neck, placing kisses there without thinking. It makes him moan as his hands travel around my bare skin, not stopping his motion. He starts going fast, making my thighs tingle and as I moan loud. I hear the thunder crash as he kisses my breasts, making me moan out his name.
“H-Harry,” I whimper, not being able to take it much longer. I whine against him, chest rising up and down rapidly as my thighs tingle. “I-I-” I stutter, not knowing what to say.
He starts doing it even faster, making me moan his name loudly, surely next door can hear. “Let it all out, love.” He whispers, grunting as he kisses me all over.
My back arches as I curl up into him, reaching my brink, my loud moan being muffled into his inked skin.
He pulls out and immediately crashes his lips against mine, my thighs going weak.
He’s taken my virginity and I’m never getting it back again.