This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
The picture of the manor is present. It has this peaceful nature about it as the sun’s rays basks it in complete beauty. Within the manor, Piper, Phoebe and Paige are coming down the stairs and they are putting up with Phoebe’s rambling.
“I don’t know actually...” Phoebe states as she rushes down the stairs, "I feel like the future is already planned but I do not know where to begin.”
“Phoebe, you’re thinking too hard,” Paige said as she is trying to catch up to Phoebe and Piper is trying to do the same. They walk from the stairs into the foyer and then into the conservatory, "you should just to, you know, relax.”
“Relax? Relax? How am I supposed to relax? With all the information we received from Wyatt and Chris, its kind of overwhelming...you know?” Phoebe says in panic.
“We should have let Grams erase our memories before they left if we knew you were going to be like this.” Paige joked. Phoebe throws a stern look in her direction and Paige’s grin disappears.
“Well, its not like you’re getting married or anything...at least not yet...its just you two need to figure out where you stand and pretend that you don’t know anything about what is in store for you two...” Piper advises.
“Which is getting married in the near future.” Paige butts in. Piper gives Paige an ugly look and looks back at Phoebe who sits down and Piper sits next to her.
“Haven’t you guys been on a date yet?” Piper wonders as she sits in the chair across from Phoebe.
“Um, I think they went on a date yesterday...the breakfast date.” Paige answers.
“Yeah, it is not considered a date...you know that. I should not have to tell you that. There’s no romance in breakfast dates. Breakfast dates are for the morning after sex, not the beginning stages of the relationship.” Phoebe explains.
Piper looks at Paige who rolls her eyes at Phoebe and Phoebe lets out a frustrated groan.
“Oh, come on, honey...at the risk of advising an advice columnist, here it goes...” Piper begins, “You can’t pretend that you don’t know what’s coming to you. You already know it, Coop knows it. For the last eight years, you have been searching for love and you actually found it, literally and what better love can you find than the Angel of Love? You already know that you two get married in the future...”
“Yeah, but that’s the thing. We are supposed to get married, I don’t really know what to do before we get there...” Phoebe interrupts.
“Well, pretend this is like a premonition you just had...of you two getting married. You have to take one step at a time to get there. Its not like its going to happen overnight.” Piper continues.
“But maybe for now, you need to start from the beginning and work your way up, from a breakfast date to eventually a wedding date.” Paige concludes. Piper looks at Paige and smiles. Paige nods her head at Phoebe who begins to smile and takes a huge sigh.
Billie walks into the manor, “Hi! Bye!” she says as she runs up the stairs.
“Billie!” Paige calls to her. Billie stops and turns around. The sisters walk to her on the stairs. “Hey, honey, how are you holding up since...you know?”
“I’m fine...I mean Christy was evil and I had no choice but to vanquish her, right?” Billie says as she folds her arms.
“You can let your feelings out. You don’t have to suppress them. It’s not good to keep your emotions about this bottled up inside. It’s very dangerous...especially for witches.” Piper suggests but Billie just nods.
“Well, if you need to talk, remember that we are here for you, ok?” Phoebe says as she holds Billie’s hand.
“I know...can I, um, can I look at the Book?” Billie asks.
“Yeah, sure.” Paige answers. Billie runs up the stairs and brushes past Leo, who was walking down the stairs with Chris in his arms. Leo looks to Billie and then to the sisters.
“Where’s the fire?” he asks as he arrives at the bottom of the stairs.
“I don’t know. She’s been quiet since Christy died and she doesn’t talk about anything to anyone anymore.” Paige says as she keeps looking up the stairs and then at Leo.
“I just feel this vibe from her that she’s blaming herself for everything, but I’m not sure.” Phoebe states.
“Well, I think that we can relate to what’s she’s going through, you know, losing a sister, like we lost Prue.” Piper says.
“I feel like alone time is the only thing she needs right now but suppressing emotions can lead to serious consequences.” Phoebe says.
“Like Piper did when Prue died, turning to a fury.” Leo reminisces.
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Piper blurts out as she takes Chris from Leo and begins to rock him from side to side, “I think that Billie can handle it. I mean she was able to handle her parents’ death really fine.”
“Well, I hope you are right, Piper...“Paige says, “I really hope you are.”
Upstairs in the attic, Billie stands there staring at the book. A tear strolls down her face as she stares blank mindedly at the book. She wipes the tear and reads the spell from the book.
“Guiding spirits, hear my plea
Take me to where I wish to be.
To the place I have in mind
To seek what I may find.”
White swirls of golden lights surround Billie and she disappears from the attic. She reappears in a dark spot, where there’s nothing but darkness and the only thing that breaks the darkness was a circular platform with a glowing white surface. Billie stands there and looks around. She walks closer and a door is seen before her. Right next to the door, a scorch mark on the floor could be seen. Billie squats and touches the scorch mark. She closes her eyes and time begins to ripple around her. She opens her eyes to see herself in the past standing next to the Halliwell sisters. The Charmed Ones had just vanquished the Triad and Piper blew up Past and Future Dumain and he explodes out of sight.
“I don’t understand! How could this happen?” Past Christy wonders as she stands there feeling trapped.
“Billie projected us here.” Past Phoebe explains.
“By focusing on you” Past Paige adds. Quietly, Past Piper calls to Past Paige. Past Paige holds out her hand and calls out loud, “Ring!” The Cupid’s ring orbs into Paige’s palm. Feeling betrayed, Christy glares at Past Billie. “How could you?!”
Past Billie steps forward, away from the Charmed Ones and begins to plead with Christy. “Christy, please, its over, just come home.”
Christy still glares daggers at Past Billie. She telepathically forms a fireball and hurls it towards the Charmed Ones and Past Billie, but Past Billie holds out her hands and deflects it back at her, engulfing Christy in flames and finally exploding. Past Billie falls to the ground and begins to sob. Present Billie who continues to watch begins to cry and the tears she fought so hard to hold back were strolling down her face. She closes her eyes and she teleports herself back into the present. She sits on the floor in a meditating position and begins to cry thinking about what she had just seen, Billie herself vanquishing her older sister.
I am the son, I am the heir.
I am human and I need to be loved just like everyone else does.
See, I’ve already waited too long, and all my hope is gone.
In the manor, Piper walks into the kitchen. She is cooking a feast to celebrate the fact that Leo is back. She puts on her mittens and pulls a huge turkey out of the oven and sets it on the table. As she places the turkey on the table, many other dishes can seen. She takes the mittens off and she carries the other dishes into the dining room and sets them on the table. Piper turns around to go into the kitchen but Paige orbs in in front of her.
“Whoa...” Piper blurts out, “Watch where you’re orbing to.”
“Sorry,” Paige apologizes to Piper and follows Piper into the kitchen. She walks into the kitchen and whistles at what she sees. “What is this, thanksgiving?”
“Well, it might as well be, in order to celebrate Leo’s return, I’m throwing a surprise party for family and friends.” Piper explains.
“Wow, so where is Leo?” Paige asks as she sits on a stool and grabs a cookie from a cookie jar.
“He’s in Magic School with the Elders...”
“Uh-oh, why is he there?” Paige asks.
“Well, I’m assuming that they want him to resume his job as the headmaster of the Magic School. I mean he does deserve it since he’s been cleaning up after the demons who made it a mess. Besides, he’s been so distracted that he doesn’t have the slightest idea that I’m throwing him this party.” Piper elaborates.
“Well, you better hope that he has time to enjoy a scrumptious feast as this...” Paige says as she tries to grab a bite from the platter on the table but Piper slaps her hand.
“No one touches that yet...this is all for tonight...which is...” Piper says as she checks her watch, “in about five hours.”
“Well, you better keep this away from Wyatt because if he sees this...”
“He’s not because he’s in preschool right now and Chris is at dad’s.” Piper says.
“Where’s Phoebe?” Paige asks
“She’s at work.” Piper answers as she pulls out some wrap and covers the platters one by one, “Which reminds me, I have to go audition DJs for the club and I won’t be back until later so if Leo comes home before I do, try to keep him away from all of this.”
“It’s going to be hard to hide this from him though. Any idea how I do it?” Paige asks.
“Can you do me a favor and call Darryl and see if he can make it tonight’s feast?” Piper asks deflecting Paige’s question, “His new number is on fridge.”
“Darryl and Sheila are back?” Paige asks in a surprising tone.
“Mhm.” Piper nods, “He called me yesterday to let me know that he was being transferred back to San Francisco. Apparently, they made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.” Piper says.
“Well, what was it?” Paige asks.
“He wouldn’t say. He says he will let us know tonight.” Piper says.
“Ok, so back to my question. How do we keep all this from Leo?”
“Well, remember how you guys try to hide the surprise party from me before I found out? Well, try that...bye!” Piper says as she storms out the back door leaving Paige speechless. Paige stands up and looks at the table and sighs.
At the Bay Mirror, Phoebe sits at her desk typing. Someone knocks on her door. She looks up. Its Elise.
“Phoebe, you have no idea how glad to know that you’re back. I mean you disappeared for days and we thought that the paper was going to go down because of it but you managed to rejuvenate the people’s interests.” Elise compliments. Phoebe takes off her glasses and smiles.
“You make it sound like I run a business.” Phoebe says.
“No, you are actually amazing and I mean it. We are glad that you’re back.” Elise praises.
“Well, I’m back for good and I have a lot of work to do so I better get started.”
As soon as Elise leaves, Phoebe begins to type again and with a pink glow, dozen red roses appear right unto Phoebe's table. Phoebe gasps and stands up. She ponders for a moment who sent it and a second later, she figures it out. She gets up and smells the roses and Coop appears behind her.
“Surprise!” Coop says. Phoebe jumps and turns around.
“Coop! What-” she stops herself and closes the door behind Coop and shuts the blindfolds and she continues, "What are you doing here?”
“I decided to come and visit you and sent you these roses to break the ice between us. Do you like them? ”
“Yes, I do, actually. They are beautiful.” Phoebe responds as she smells them.
“Well, the reason why I came here is to ask you on a date. Well, I think you are a very classy woman and I believe that I’m here to ask you to a classy date, at least better than yesterday’s breakfast date.” Coop explains.
“Well, I’m flattered, Coop, but I am kind of busy right now, I just got back from the chaos with the Triad and Christy and I have a lot of work to do that...”
“I understand...totally understandable.” Coop says, “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to try, right? I guess I can try another time.”
“I think that’s best.” Phoebe agrees.
Coop nods and smiles, plants a kiss on Phoebe’s forehead and disappears. Phoebe walks over to her desk and smells the roses one more time places them in a vase on her cabinet. She smiles, and looks at a letter on top of a heap of envelopes. It was titled, “Confused in San Francisco.” Phoebe reads the letter as she walks towards her desk and sits down. She runs her fingers through her hair and drops her head on her folded arms on the desk.
Henry walks out of Dunkin Donuts and bumps into Paige.
“Oh, hey honey.” Paige says as she kisses him, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
Henry just stares at her and walks away.
“What’s the problem? Henry? Henry?” Paige calls out as she breaks into a little run chasing after him..
“What?” Henry says as he turns around.
“What’s the matter? What’s gotten into you?” Paige asks.
" I don’t know.” Henry says in a sarcastic tone, “I haven’t stayed in the same room with my wife in three days and when I finally do, she says that she’s tired. Frankly, I don’t know what to think.”
“Well, Henry, you got to give me credit. I didn’t know that you felt neglected. You should have told me.”
“You’re a witch, you’re supposed to know it without me telling you.” Henry blurts out
“First off, I don’t have the power to do that, if anyone of us can do that, it’s Phoebe...” Paige says absentmindedly. Henry scoffs and begins to walk away.
“Hey, Henry! Henry!” she screams to no avail. She looks around and sighs. She orbs out of sight and orbs directly in front of Henry who gasps in shock as he stops walking abruptly.
“Are you out of your mind?!” Henry says as he looks over his shoulders cautiously, “Aren’t you worried about exposure?”
“I’m more worried about losing my husband.”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m feeling neglected. We have only been married for 3 months, Paige. It is too early in our marriage for this to happen. If that doesn’t scare you-”
“Don’t think that this is one sided, Henry. I am not neglecting you. The Ultimate Battle was just fought and we had to kill Christy. We’re still dealing with the weight of that battle and also picking up the damaging pieces it had on the magical community.” Paige explains.
“I know but has been three since the battle happened and I had to hear you were alive from Coop, Paige. Coop. You didn’t even give me the decency to let me know you were alive...”
“I know and I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Paige says as she hugs him “Piper is throwing Leo a welcome back party, we can go and after that, we can have our own little party?”
Henry smiles as he wraps his arms around his wife. He kisses her and then raises her chin a little bit. “Ok, you promise?”
“Yeah, I promise.” Paige smiles, “I’ll meet you at home before 8. We have to be at the Manor around 8:30. See you there.”
In Victor’s apartment, Victor looks for clothes to wear and looks for clothes for Chris to wear as well. He walks to Chris with little toddler’s outfits in each hand.
“So which one do like the most, little guy? This one or this one?” Victor says as he holds up both of them.
Chris blinks and points at one of the two and it orbs out of Victor’s hand and into the drawer. Chris smiles at his grandfather as his grandfather tries to hide the scared but impressed look drawn all over his face.
“I guess that’s one way of choosing, huh, Chris?” Victor says as he picks up his grandson. Chris orbs the sneakers, the pants and all the other clothing onto Victor’s bed aligned from the top to bottom. The shirt to the pants to the socks to the sneakers. Victor smiles at Chris and then picks up the shirt.
“Well, I guess we have to start to get you dressed for your father’s party, huh?”
“Yeah!” Chris cries out.
Victor takes a toddler’s belt from his closet and shuts the door.
“Rex, why don’t you set up over there? I mean it has worked perfectly fine for the last seven years.” Piper suggests. The phone begins to ring and Piper answers it. “Hello, P3, Piper Halliwell speaking.”
“Hello to you too!” Phoebe says as she continues to type and chat at the same time, “Guess who stopped by to say hi..”
“Coop?” Piper guesses.
“Yeah...and he brought flowers too.”
“Are you sure he came by just to say hi or there’s more to the story than you’re letting on?” Piper asks as she writes on a clipboard and she waves her hands at Rex.
“No, Rex, stock the beer in the back and put some in the fridge so that they can be chilled for tonight.”
“Look at you! Your life is almost, dare I say it, normal?” Phoebe says as she teases Piper.
“It is a testament to our lives when this is considered normal; and your life is seems to be getting that way too. No demons for a couple of days and look what we have turned to. Well, we better milk this as much as we can.” Piper says.
“Well, what do you say to ‘Confused in San Francisco’ who has been searching for love basically her whole life and when she finally finds someone she knows is a perfect guy, she lets her judgment and errors of her past relationships keep her from taking the leap that love offers?” Phoebe asks as she reads the question to Piper from the letter.
“Well, I say that she should shut up and take a chance...” Piper jokes.
“I can't write that...” Phoebe laughs, “I mean, I have to write something that makes it more...sense and sensitive.”
“You’re the advice columnist, so don’t ask me. You’ll figure it out. Are you going to come to the welcoming party I’m throwing for Leo?”
“I have to be there, don’t I? I, for one, am glad that he’s back and I would want to celebrate it as much as we can.” Phoebe says, “Hey, is Billie invited?”
“I should assume so but she hasn’t been around long enough for me to ask her, why?” Piper asks.
“I think that the best thing she needs is to be surrounded by people she cares about and those who care about her. To ease her pain a little bit.” Phoebe says.
“Well, I’ll try but there’s only so much I can do, Phoebe.” Piper says.
“Piper, it has only been three days since the ultimate battle, she needs a shoulder to lean on now. You of all people should be able to relate to that more than anyone.”
“Is this another subtle reference to the Fury incident again? Turn into a fury one time and they will never let you forget it.” Piper groans.
“I’m just saying. Paige and I have been trying but you can probably get through to her, you know? She has been spending a lot of time reading through the Book and only God knows what is going through that head of hers.” Phoebe says.
“I guess. I got to go, Pheebs. I’ll see you tonight?” Piper rushes.
“With Coop?” Piper adds.
“Um...sure.” Phoebe says hesitantly.
“Ok, then. bye.” Piper says as she hangs up. Phoebe looks up and stares at the letter. She sighs and she begins to type once more.
Billie still sits in Magic School and continues to replay the time she vanquished her sister in her head over and over again. She tries to project herself back to the past once more but this time, she is not traveling through time. Her body begins to glow and then it is cut short when Leo walks in. Leo looks at Billie and taps her on the shoulder.
“Hey, are you ok?” Leo asks as he helps her stand up.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just-” Billie sniffles and wipes her tears, “Just thinking about stuff.”
“Christy?” Leo asks.
Billie remains silent.
“I don’t think it was fair for her to be turned evil. And I keep trying to go back in time to before she was turned but I end up going to the time I-”
Leo walks up to Billie and hugs her. Billie sobs uncontrollably in Leo’s arms. Leo comforts her.
“It’s ok, it’s ok. Let it all out.” Leo says to Billie. Billie backs away from Leo and steps back.
“Go back in time? Billie...” Leo begins to say but Billie cuts him off.
“I know, I know. We can’t change the past and even if I could, there’s not a lot I can do. She made her choice.”
“And that is not your fault. Like you said, Christy made her choice.” Leo says.
“So then why does it feel like it’s my fault?” Billie asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind.” Billie says as she tries to dance around the subject, “I need something to get my mind off of this. I have been here too long, I have to go back to do something.” Billie says.
“Ok, well, then I guess I’ll see you later, I have to clean this room anyway.”
“Ok.” Billie answers. She chants the spell one more time and is engulfed in white swirly golden lights.
Leo watches as the lights disappear. He sighs and turns the switch on and begins to move some stuff around.
The grandfather’s clock chimes eight times as it turns 8:00 pm. Piper walks down the stairs with Wyatt fully dressed casually and Victor walking behind her with Chris dressed casually as well. The bell rings and Piper sets Wyatt in the pen and opens the door and it’s Phoebe.
“Since when did you have to ring the bell?” Piper asks.
“Since I don’t live here anymore?” Phoebe replies.
“That never stopped you before.” Piper utters back.
“Is Billie coming tonight?” Phoebe asks as she walks in.
“I haven’t seen her to ask.”
Not long after, Paige and Henry walk into the door and greet Piper. Phoebe plays with Wyatt and Chris and looks up and gives Paige and Henry a greeting nod. The doorbell rings again and Piper opens it again. Paige walks up to Phoebe and begins to chat.
“So how’s things going on with Coop?” Paige asks.
“He asked me out and sent me flowers and I said no...”
Paige opens her mouth to protest but Phoebe stops her before any words come out of her mouth. “Don’t want to talk about it right now. Lets get through tonight first, ok?” Phoebe says as she puts Wyatt in the pen and walks to her seat.
Billie comes down the stairs and bumps into Phoebe. Her eyes widen at the sight of the slightly crowded manor.
“Hey, Billie, we’re having a celebration for Leo’s return. We would like it if you would join us.” Phoebe says.
“You guys look so dressed up and I don’t have anything to wear.” Billie says as she scopes the room.
“You can go upstairs and change, we’ll wait for you.” Phoebe says.
“Oh, that won’t be necessary.” Billie says. She looks at herself and she changes into a glamorous dress with her hair pulled back. Phoebe’s eyes widen and she looks at Paige and Paige tells them to come and sit.
The bell rings and Piper answers the door and it is Darryl and Sheila. Piper walks into the dining room and announces that Darryl, Sheila and Coop are here. Everyone cheers except for Phoebe. Phoebe stands up and walks towards the trio. Coop excitedly opens his arms to embrace Phoebe but Phoebe walks into Sheila’s open arms. Coop awkwardly walks around them and walks up to Henry.
“Don’t act like I didn’t just see that.” Henry laughs.
“Shut up, Henry.” Coop whispers.
“Oh my God, Sheila!” Phoebe says, “It’s so good to see you!”
“It feels good to be back.” she says as she parts from Phoebe. Phoebe walks to Darryl and hugs him.
“What brings you guys back here? Are you guys here for good or...? Please tell me you guys are back for good.” Phoebe says with a glimmer of hope detected in her voice.
Paige and Piper walk closer to the Morris’ and exchange hugs.
“Well? What’s the secret you wanted to tell us? What’s the offer?” Piper asks.
“Well, I got recommended for a promotion by my previous captain here in SFPD. He’s retiring and he didn’t feel comfortable allowing anyone else but me taking his place...” Darryl says.
“Say hello to Captain Darryl Morris!” Sheila shouts excitedly.
Cheers fill the room and the sisters hug the Morris’s again.
“Do you have any idea of who they are?” Henry asks Coop.
“I may have heard of them but I never met them before.” Coop replies.
As Darryl continues to walk around the room, being congratulated. Paige stands between Darryl & Henry.
“Darryl, this is my husband Henry. Henry, Darryl.”
“You hus-?” Darryl says as his eyes widen.
“Oh my God. You got married, Paige?” Sheila asks.
“Yeah, three months ago.” Paige blushes as Sheila grabs her left hand, eyeballing Paige's wedding ring.
“Congratulations!” Darryl says as she hugs Paige again and shakes Henry’s hand, “Nice to meet you, man!”
“Likewise.” Henry says with a half smile.
“A lot happened this past year, didn’t it?” Darryl says, “With you guys, I’m not even surprised. I’m just glad nobody died this time.”
The dining room falls silent and Darryl looks to his wife and then the Halliwells. Billie looks down and then flashes an awkward smile.
“It’s ok. Don’t worry about me.” Billie says.
“Did I say something wrong?” he asks.
“Who’s that?” Sheila asks.
“No, it’s a long story. We’ll explain later.” Piper says.
“Well, welcome to the family!” Sheila says as she hugs Henry and Henry’s smile grows into a full one.
“And who’s this?” Sheila asks as she turns to Coop.
“This is Phoebe’s-” Paige begins to say but Phoebe finishes her sentence for her.
“Friend.” she says with a chuckle, “A really good friend of mine. Coop, Darryl. Darryl, Coop.”
The two men exchange hands.
“Smooth.” Piper whispers to Phoebe.
“Shh!” Phoebe says as she chuckles nervously.
Leo walks down the stairs and sees the people down stairs.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” he asks.
“Surprise!” Everyone yells to him.
Leo feels flattered and walks down the stairs. He exchanges handshakes with everyone and hugs the ladies.
“Darryl?!” Leo asks as he walks towards him.
“Welcome back, Leo.” Darryl says.
“I could say the same for you.” Darryl says as he hugs him.
“That’s Captain Darryl Morris to you.” Sheila says as she hugs Leo as well.
“Oh wow. Congratulations!” He says as he hugs Darryl one more time.
“Ok, ok. Let’s eat! I’m starving!” Phoebe screams.
Time passes and they clink their drinks and enjoy themselves merrily. Billie sits by Phoebe and she is very silent.
“Billie, what’s wrong?” Phoebe asks.
“It doesn’t feel right...smiling knowing that I killed my sister.” Billie answers.
“I know but she left you no choice.” Phoebe says.
“No choice?! I wish you people would stop throwing that at me!” Billie raises her voice.
“That’s not what I meant, Billie. I meant that she didn’t want to be saved...”
Everyone is silent as Billie begins to yell. “I could have saved her, I just didn’t try hard enough!”
“Billie-” Piper begins but Billie cuts her sentence short. Billie begins to cry and she begins to glow again.
“Its not fair! It’s not...” Billie begins to transform. Her dress turns into leather and her eyes glow black. She looks at Phoebe. Phoebe stands up and back away.
“Billie, calm down.” Phoebe advises.
“No one tells me what to do!” Billie yells as she throws a fireball at Phoebe but she ducks and it hits the lamp. She hurls another at Piper but Piper freezes it in mid-air and Paige orbs it away.
“What has gotten into you?” Piper asks Billie as she attempts to walk towards her but Leo holds her back.
“That’s not Billie anymore.” Leo says as Billie’s eyes turn red then black. She looks around and flames out. Everyone looks around and are in shock at what they have just witnessed. The Charmed Ones look at each other.
“What are we gonna do?” Phoebe asks. Her sisters look at each other once more and look at the spot where Billie once stood.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Carolyn Hahn-Re: I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.
ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...
ga1984: I really enjoyed it! Characters were deep and plot was pretty complex. A bit on the violent side but it doesnt detract from the story. Very dark but situations make sense. Ends kinda abruptly and later chapters will need some editing work. I'm assuming there's more in the works?
summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...
Toria Danielle: I must congratulate Erin Swan on completing such a beautiful work. The Rising Sun is well rounded and leaves nothing to be wanted. ALL of the characters and their development are beautifully written. The plot is extremely well thought out. Creating a whole different type of universe is difficult ...
Sandra Estrada: I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...
Lacey Schmidt: The Trouble with Super is that you can't stop reading it. Mr. Barrett's characters are all to easy to relate to even if you don't have a super quirk of your own, and their plight is both heart-rendingly funny and heart-warmingly sad at the same time. It's a bit like Office Space meets the Matri...
PurpleInkling: Hippocrite is spelt hypocrite.Also it is an awesome story! A good one after so long. I was hoping someone would write a good fanficiton playing off what Ron said at the station. You are doing a remarkable job. It would have been interesting if Albus had also ended up in Ravenclaw though that mig...
Alice Liu: Whoa! I've been wondering how would the Maurauders react to Harry's life and here we go! YOU ARE THE BEST! All the characters are consistent with their personalities shown in the book! I love how you compare Lily with Molly and it's definitely true for her being a mother! I wish Peter comes have ...
Steve Lang: I thought this story was imaginative, and well thought out. I also think it was an original piece, and not a rehash of previous scifi stories I've read in the past.Thank you for the effort put into this tale, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."