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Squad 7 and their Accidental Instructor

By Older_than_Time

Humor

Chapter 1

Older than Time here,

I recently read a fic called 'What If?' by Rorschach's Blot, which is a bunch of stories, each not quite a full-on fic.

One set was called Team Anko, which really inspired me, so I adopted it with the author's permission.

Please note that the initial chapters will be similar/near-identical to the originals, but will be completely original roughly after chapter 4 or 5.

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or various ideas featured in fic originating from Rorschach's Blot and corresponding authors.

So here's the start of a new Team 7 under the wing of Anko Mitarashi!

Older than Time presents!

Squad 7 and the Accidental Instructor

Chapter 1 – A Fortuitous Turn of Events

The newly formed Squad 7 was sitting in their old classroom waiting for their absent Jounin instructor. They'd been waiting…awhile now. Sakura was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Our stupid instructor hasn't gotten here yet," the pinkette groused. Ever quick to look good in his crush's eyes, Naruto was quick to respond.

"I'll go find him," Naruto volunteered. Sakura, however, was equally quick to put him down.

"Naruto you…"

'Quiet you fool!' Inner Sakura shouted to her host. 'If he leaves then we'll be all alone with Sasuke!'

"…Genius."

"What?" Naruto asked dumbly. The world seemingly shattered as Sakura actually agreed with the normally idiotic blonde.

"What?" Sasuke echoed dumbly.

"Never mind; now go out and start looking," Sakura hustled him towards the door.

"Do you remember his name?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Don't be so sexist, there are female Jonin too! Just grab the first Jonin you find walking around the school," Sakura advised, "all the other teams have their instructors already. Ours will be the only one left."

"Right," Naruto agreed. The blonde quickly left, slamming the door behind him. Sasuke felt a chill travel down his spine as the pinkette let out a sinister chuckle and turned back to him. The way she smiled made him whimper in fear.

'Hurry up dobe!'

Anko walked into the Hokage's office and bowed respectfully. The old ninja was one of the few she actually held any respect for, even if she didn't normally show it.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?" Anko asked

"I have a new mission for you," the Hokage replied, "go to the Academy and…"

"Hokage-sama!" one of his aides rushed in, "the new issue is out in stores."

"And I'm sure you'll figure it out," Sarutobi called over his shoulder as he rushed out. The Special Jounin blinked stupidly at the dust cloud left in the old man's wake.

Naruto wandered the halls in search of their squad's new commander. He'd find whoever it was, bring them back, and then Sakura would reward him with a date. It was a flawless plan that had no chance of failing. He was a genius after all, Sakura had said so! He spotted a purple-haired woman walk through the front doors.

"There you are," Naruto shouted at the woman, "you're late!"

"What're you talking about, brat?" Anko growled. No way would she let some wannabe-ninja punk yell at her like that.

"We've been waiting for you for hours," Naruto shouted, "what kind of Jounin instructor are you?"

"What're you talking about you stupid brat," Anko shouted back, "I'm not…oh, I guess that's what the old man was talking about. Lead the way, brat." She was more than flattered by the amount of trust the Hokage was placing in her, only the best and most loyal Jounin were chosen to be instructors. She vowed that she wouldn't let the old man down.

Kakashi lazily wandered into the academy a few minutes later on his way to meet his new team.

'It was always nice to be chosen as a Jounin instructor,' he thought to himself, 'just like having a couple paid days off.'

All he had to do was show up for a few minutes on the first day and an hour on the second, not to mention how enjoyable it was to crush a group of brats that didn't understand the meaning of teamwork.

"You must be the person the Hokage sent over to demonstrate summons," the Chunin instructor said with a grin, "right on time."

"Actually I'm…"

"No time to chat," the harried man interrupted, "can't leave a class full of eight year olds alone for too long."

"Er…"

The Chunin grabbed Kakashi by the arm and dragged him into a classroom filled with screaming brats.

"BE QUIET," the Chunin screamed. He ducked to avoid a thrown kunai; it was a ninja academy after all. "This is Mister…er, what was your name?"

"Kakashi, but…"

"Kakashi," the Chunin said loudly, "he's going to be teaching you about summoning."

"I think there's been a mistake," Kakashi tried to interject.

"You can handle this yourself right?" the man asked as he stepped out the door, not bothering to pay attention to the Jounin's attempt to escape. It hadn't worked for him on his first day so why should he let Kakashi off that easy? "Thanks for covering for me."

"Wait, I…" Kakashi shuddered at the amount of 'mischief intent' the students were letting off. When the Hokage had told him that he had been chosen as an instructor, he'd been sure the old man just been giving him another team to fail. He'd never expected this, maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to fail all those Genin after all?

Anko followed Naruto into the empty classroom and was more than a bit amused at how much killing intent her other two students were emitting. It was so cute the way they were trying to look dangerous.

"Sorry I'm late," she said cheerfully. Wouldn't do to scare the little brats right off and lose her new team. "Just found out I was going to be your teacher a few minutes ago. Now then, why don't you introduce yourselves?"

"Could you go first?" Sakura asked sweetly. "To show us how it's done."

"Sure thing, Pinky," Anko agreed. "My name is Anko, I like dango and my dream is to kill a certain man. Now you."

"My name is Sakura, I like . . ." she blushed. "My dream is to be a good kunoichi, uh…like you Anko sensei."

"Nice sucking up," Anko complimented the girl with a big smile that Sakura returned shyly, "blondie."

"My name is Naruto, I like Ramen and I'm gonna be Hokage someday," he finished loudly. Anko perked up at the perfect opportunity to impart her worldly knowledge upon her students.

"I'd pick another dream if I were you kid," Anko advised.

"You don't think I can do it?" Naruto asked sadly. Another teacher who doubted his potential; he sighed at his miserable luck. Seeing his sadness, Anko was quick to elaborate on her comment.

"Nah, it's just that being Hokage really sucks. You gotta wake up early every day to do paperwork, you spend all day doing paperwork and listening to people's complaints, and you don't get done with the day's work until late. Not to mention the fact that you get little or no sleep."

"Oh." Naruto blinked stunned and wondered why the old man had never told him about this before. But he did remember seeing a whole lot of paperwork around the Hokage every time he visited.

'Hmmm…'

"It's much better to be a super elite ninja like one of the Sannin. You get all the power and respect of a Hokage without all the boring parts," Anko finished happily. Her first day on the job and she was already dispensing valuable career advice. Yay for her!

"Then I'll be the greatest elite super ninja ever," Naruto cheered, "and I'll never have to do any boring paperwork."

"That's the spirit," Anko agreed, "unfortunately we all have to fill out some paperwork, but I'll show you how to pass it off to subordinates through the clever use of delegated authority."

Naruto puzzled through the unfamiliar words and then cursed softly. "I just volunteered to do all the paperwork for the team, didn't I?" he asked recalling Iruka-sensei tricking him similarly earlier that same year.

Anko smirked. "Yep, but the amount of paperwork a team generates can be finished in less than an hour a day and I'll you show you some shortcuts on that too. Now you broody."

"My name is Sasuke, I don't like anything, and my dream . . . nay my ambition is to kill a certain man." Anko internally winced at the obvious signs of an obsession popping up. She then smirked as a clever idea popped into her head.

"No it isn't," Anko said flatly, "that's my dream. What's yours?"

"To kill my brother and . . ."

"Still too close to my dream," Anko interrupted. She better nip this problem in the bud before it got too out of control. "How about rebuilding your clan?"

"I wanna kill my brother first," Sasuke said stubbornly (and mildly whiny).

"I'm not saying that you can't kill your brother," Anko explained. "Just that you need something else to dream about." Not that she didn't appreciate the way the little brat was trying to emulate her. "And I'll bet that rebuilding your clan would really piss your brother off."

"Really?" Sasuke was so startled by the thought he actually stopped brooding for a second and looked hopeful. Pissing off his brother was always a good bonus…

"Why, he'd probably come back here to try to wipe it out again."

Sasuke was quick to see the possibilities.

"Do you think so?"

"All those new Uchiha running around, he couldn't help himself."

"Then my dream is rebuilding my clan," Sasuke agreed. 'As bait to lure my brother back to Konoha so I can kill him,' Sasuke added silently.

"Now that, that's out of the way," Konoha's number one sadistic Snake Bitch began cheerfully, "it's customary to have some sort of test to make sure that you're ready to be Genin."

"What do you mean test?!" Konoha's number one loudmouth screamed, visions of reams of paperwork being dumped on him danced through his head.

"Well, Cyclop's has his bell test. Uh…my old teacher had a test to see if you could suppress your gag reflex." He'd been so disappointed when he found out that she was a girl. "Uh . . . I guess we could fight, that would give me a good idea of what your skill level is."

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