Callen woke as Gibbs nudged him, "We're landing Cal, and you need to buckle up."
He yawned and stretched, "I'm sorry Gibbs, I didn't realize I slept the whole flight."
Gibbs smiled, "Its ok, Nate was telling me it's you getting the last of the drugs out of your system."
"Oh…" Callen trailed off as the plane landed. He focused on the seat in front of him.
"It'll be ok Callen." Nate said as he leaned over Gibbs to give him a reassuring smile.
As the plane taxied to a stop, Callen took his bag from the overhead locker and waited as they all disembarked.
He passed through the security points waiting as the other check their weapons again showing their credentials and while Tony went to get their car and Nate rented a car for him and Callen.
Before long they were on their way to the naval yard.
The closer they got the more Callen shifted in his seat, he knew that he had to see the director at some point but he didn't really want to, he had met Director McGee once, years ago, when he had been a kid, he knew he was a nice man, a member of Gibbs' team at one point but still, he was the director of NCIS and he was still a junior agent.
They pulled up all of them showing their ID's except Callen who didn't have his, he had a driving license and he showed that.
"It's ok, you're on the list Director McGee is expecting you." The guard said as they were waved through.
Callen shot a worried look at Gibbs, "D…Director McGee?"
"Don't worry; I'll be with you and Nate's here too." Gibbs reassured him.
"Yeah, that'll help if he fires me." Callen snapped under his breath turning to look out of the window.
They pulled up and the group exited the car and with Callen, dragging his feet, they entered the building.
They made it through security and as Tony and Ellie headed off to the bullpen, Gibbs and Nate waited as Callen signed in.
As the doors to the elevator closed Callen felt an irrational fear grip him, he said nothing but his hands balled into fists. Gibbs noticed and hit the emergency stop button.
"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked as Callen backed into the wall.
"Why do you think something's wrong?" Callen asked looking for an escape.
"Because you look like a jackrabbit in a trap Cal, it's only Tim, you'll be ok."
"What if he knows…what if he wants to fire me?" Callen bent forward resting his hands on his thighs and breathing slowly, "This is all I ever wanted to do…ever since Sam found me…I can't, not be an agent…"
"Breathe Callen," Nate said rubbing in slow circles on his back, "Director McGee knows you are on medical leave, he has no intention of firing you, and he probably just wants to see for himself that you are alright."
Callen nodded, of course he did, it was, he knew just his insecurities again.
He nodded and straightened up, "You good?" Gibbs asked.
"Yeah…" Callen said trying to convince himself as well as them.
The door opened and Tim stood there grinning.
"Gibbs, I figured you were back as soon as I was told the elevator was malfunctioning." He said.
"Old time's sake Tim, the elevator missed me, so why you here? You got no work to do?" Gibbs said stepping out and going toe to toe with the director.
Tim shot Gibbs a smirk and stepped around him, "Agent Callen it's nice to see you safe and sound, welcome back."
Callen took Tim's outstretched hand, "Thank you sir,"
"We should head up to the office; I have your credentials upstairs, Agent Hanna called through with the changes this morning."
"Changes?" Callen asked, "Am I being transferred sir?" he asked as they entered Tim's office.
"God, No!" Tim exclaimed. "With your FLETC scores you are right where I need you…unless you want to be transferred?" Tim looked at Callen worried, "Is that why the leave of absence? I heard you were hurt and needed to recover…was it…"
Tim didn't finish as Callen got up and walked to the window.
He shot a look at Gibbs and Nate who shook their heads and motioned for him to wait.
"I was injured, you remember…when I was a kid, that guy,…Comescu…He's not ever coming back…never…" he spat the last word with so much venom that Tim almost did a double take.
"That's good." Tim said as Nate nodded, "You have a month take as much or as little as you need."
"I'm taking him back to Los Angeles by boat." Gibbs grinned.
"Sounds like fun, you finished The Jackson then?" Tim asked.
Gibbs nodded, "Yeah, well I have to enjoy my retirement now,"
Tim laughed, "You're semi-retired Gibbs…on retainer remember?"
Gibbs nodded, "Yeah yeah McGee you can't do without me."
Callen had worked through his panic attack and turned back to the three men, "So I can have the leave?" he asked sitting in the chair Tim pointed out to him.
Tim nodded, "Take it as fully paid medical leave. I hear you have some stuff to work through with Dr. Getz and are planning to do that before you return home." He said.
Callen nodded, "Yes sir."
Tim smiled, "I don't want you pushing yourself, you have the makings of a great agent," he pulled a box from his desk drawer, "You'll need these, the gun I'm giving to Agent Gibbs until Dr. Getz pronounces you fit for duty. This however…" He handed Callen a new set of credentials. "Is yours."
"These are new." Callen said looking at the wallet.
Tim nodded, "It was suggested that you would feel more comfortable using this name, if you want to continue to be Agent Callen I can have your old ones returned to you." He said as Callen opened the wallet and stared at the name on the credentials.
"What about the protocols for family members working together?" he asked stunned.
"You don't want it?" Tim asked.
Callen looked down and traced the words with his finger. "Yes…yes I want this…but how did you know…I wanted to be known as…?" he stopped as Tim laughed, "Your father felt it would be a good idea, your team know that he's your father and your team now know about your relationship and your partner and your direct superior have no problem with it, in fact Agent Deeks has insisted you do everything Dr. Getz says and... 'then get your butt back there'." Tim sighed, "Direct quote," he looked over at Gibbs, "We really shouldn't let Deeks and DiNozzo mix too much." He winked at Gibbs who smirked.
"So Agent Hanna, I suggest you take your leave, head to Gibbs' and then back to Los Angeles and work well with Dr. Getz."
Tim stood up and shook Callen's hand, "I am glad you are staying with us." He said as they walked to his office door.
They opened it to find Tim's secretary kissing DiNozzo and Tim just laughed.
"Agent DiNozzo are you accosting my secretary?" Tim said trying hard to hide his smile.
"No Sir, Director sir, I am accosting my wife whom I haven't seen for a few days, She's on her lunch break, in five minutes she will be your secretary again and I promise to leave any more accosting until we get home." Tony grinned.
Callen grinned as Gibbs pushed him out of the office. "LA is so much saner," he said and headed down the stairs.
It had been four days since the Jackson had pushed off from the Anacostia Marina heading to Los Angeles.
Callen was standing on the deck, looking out over the ocean, he knew if he moved to the other side of the boat he would be able to see the American coast line but he preferred this side of the boat, this time.
He looked over to see Gibbs at the helm concentrating on where he was going and Callen moved to sit down hanging his feet over the edge, looping his arms over the ropes that served as guard rails around the edge of the boat.
Nate walked up and sat beside him and handed him a mug of coffee.
"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked looking out over the waves.
"I…I was thinking about the last time I did this you know I was 12." Callen said, "I couldn't speak a word…well no more than five words of English and I was on my way to a whole new country and a whole new life and had no idea."
Nate sipped his coffee and said nothing.
"I hated her you know…for a long time, I never knew her and I hated her." Callen said still looking over at the waves.
"Your mother?" Nate asked, but Callen shook his head.
"Amy…you can't tell dad, ok?" Callen looked over at Nate.
"Confidential Callen, none of this is shared." He said.
"Am I evil…? I wished…after Sam and Hetty found me and took me away from Yoska, I wished Amy had died earlier, that way Sam wouldn't be sad and…and I would have been younger when I came to the US and they could have taken me away from his earlier." He let a tear fall hoping no one noticed. "I think if dad knew…he'd hate me?"
"When we talked, the first time and you were thirteen do you remember what I told you?" Nate asked.
Callen took a sip of his drink and remembered back.
Nate had told him that his feelings were not right or wrong, they just were and it was ok to have them.
"Yeah, I remember." He said so quietly that Nate nearly didn't hear him over the swell of the Ocean.
"I wish that Yoska had died the first time, so many people were hurt because of me, and because I did something wrong….If only I had said something the first time. Maybe…"
"Stop." Nate said putting the hand not holding a coffee on Callen's arm.
Callen looked up at him, "The only person to blame for Yoska's action is Yoska."
"What about Radu…Ray…?" he asked. "Will I have to go to court…testify."
"Director McGee has already talked to the district attorney on that one, due to the nature of your job, you will be allowed to give a statement and if needed you will be able to give video evidence from OPS, but Radu will not be allowed to see your face and neither will anyone else other than the judge." Nate told him.
Callen sighed as a huge amount of tension left him.
Nate looked at him, "Enjoy the waves, I'll take the mugs back and refill Gibbs' mug." He said getting up.
"Nate…" Callen looked over at him.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"I'll be ok…won't I? I mean he hasn't completely broken me has he?"
Nate smiled, "Not if you know well enough to ask." He said. "We still have a week to talk, you relax, and work on your tan…Gibbs wants to get you to steer later too, if you're up to it?"
Callen grinned, "Tell Gibbs to get me when he's ready I'd love to have a go."
Nate turned and nodded at Gibbs.
A few hundred more miles to go, but by the time he would reach home, they knew that Callen would be healed, and ready to return to work as Special Agent Callen Hanna.
Callen looking out to sea felt a wave of love wash over him, he didn't know where it had come from, but he knew that he was going to be ok, now there would be no looking back he would just keep moving forward.
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Gina Mae CallenWrite a Review