My name is G!

Chapter 11 - Past Repeat

Callen had walked into Hetty's office to see a tall skinny guy leaning back on a chair in the corner.

"Hi Callen, I'm Nate," He said with a smile.

Callen looked at Hetty uneasy, this guy didn't look like a cop but he had a vibe that set Callen's teeth on edge he looked over at Hetty for reassurance, but didn't like the look she gave him either.

"Mr. Callen, this is Mr. Getz he is our clinical psychologist. I would like you to go and talk to him,"

"No." Callen said flatly.

"Mr. Callen, I know you have been through a lot with some of your past foster placements and maybe now would be the time for you to talk about it."

"NO! NO WAY…YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" he yelled at them both. He knew it had been too good to be true to let his guard down with these people he backed away out of the office.

""Mr. Callen, this is not a negotiation." Hetty said to him, "You need to talk about it,"

"NO! Listen lady, I don't care what the last asshole that had me, did to me, there is no way in HELL I'm talking to a shrink!"

Nate walked up behind him; he hated Callen looking so scared. Not thinking and wanting to comfort his friend he placed his hand on his shoulder.

Callen leapt his fight or flight instinct kicking in, "GET OFF CREEP!" he twisted out from under Nate's grip grabbed his bag and ran for the door, not caring that the other people in the building were looking shocked by his display of temper.

Tears running down his face, Callen left the mission.

There was no way he was going to talk to anyone about his previous placements, especially his last one. Jason had died as his last one saving his life…Jason had had a family a little brother and a mother who cared, Jason shouldn't have died. He was the expendable one, the one that no one cared about he should have died, not Jason, especially not doing something as stupid as saving his worthless life.

So he did what he knew how to do best… he ran.

Automatically he headed towards the Ocean. He had no idea how he knew which way to go, but he ran anyway. This day had been way too crazy, waking up in a strange room was a pretty much everyday occurrence for him, but waking up naked….he NEVER let his guard down like that. He NEVER left himself that exposed. Then that woman had insisted he go with her…he was staying in a 'cops' house…..why? What the hell had happened to him? Maybe he'd been drugged again, that date rape drug…..rohip….something or other, it wouldn't have been the first time, and some foster parents were weird.

He sagged against a wall watching the traffic go by and headed for an underpass where a group of men were hanging out by a brazier, He walked by them trying to keep a low profile.

"Hey cutie!" a dirty looking homeless man called to him, "Wanna keep us company?"

Callen swallowed the bile in his throat clutched his bag tighter and carried on walking keeping to the shadows as much as he could suppressing the shudder that threatened to overwhelm him.

Sam stormed into Hetty's office "What the hell just happened?" He said upset at seeing his partner that scared.

Hetty stood her ground.

"Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen's age is fifteen, the antidote only worked halfway, from what I know of his history, this is a traumatic time in his life." She said.

"Like the rest of it was so peachy." Sam snapped.

Hetty nodded her agreement, "Yes, but there was another large traumatic event happened around this age, I knew about it and I know that Mr. Callen wasn't given help at the time, I had hoped that maybe with him being younger again, we could help him"

"And how did that work for you?" Sam said, "Sorry Hetty, but with all he's been through, you know how he feels about shrinks."

Granger walked back in, "Hetty, he's not there." He said concerned.

"Let's see if Mr. Beale can find him." Hetty said not wanting to panic yet.

"Fine….if we can't find him…you're calling." Granger said.

Sam looked confused but followed with a nod to Kensi and Deeks to follow also.

Granger's phone rang, "It's him." He said quietly to Hetty and went to take the call.

They walked into the darkened arena of ops. Eric and Nell were hard at work as they came in.

Nell looked around confused. "Do we have an active case?" she asked.

"No, I need you to access the cameras from outside the building, Mr. Callen has run away I need you to find him and send his co-ordinates to Mr. Hanna, Ms Blye and Mr. Deeks' phones they will pick him up."

Nell started typing away as did Eric.

Fleeting Images of Callen started appearing on the monitor, He looked totally dejected, the camera caught him resting and wiping his eyes grabbing a bottle of water from his bag where he had surreptitiously stowed it during breakfast that morning drinking small sips, grabbing a marker pen drawing a line on the bottle and putting it back in his bag.

"What's the line for?" Kensi asked.

"Safety…You can see if anything has been added to your drink or if anyone has taken any." Deeks said absently remembering his own time in foster care.

Granger walked into ops, "Have we found him….He needs to get another shot in 72 hours." He said to Hetty.

Deeks' phone rang and he looked at it annoyed. "Hang on its Jack Michaels'."

He answered the phone and paled. "Are you sure it's him?" he asked. "Get them to back off. We're on our way."

He put the phone down. "LAPD say they have Callen's kid, he's got a gun and he's possibly on drugs and halfway up a cliff!" he exclaimed stunned. "And he's got a gun!"

"No way!" Sam said.

Hetty nodded sadly, "It seems that history is repeating itself." She said.

"No! Hetty! G wouldn't do drugs he hates needles." Sam said standing his ground.

Hetty looked at them, "In 1985 Mr. Callen was in a bad foster home, a boy staying with him was killed while trying to protect him, Mr. Callen didn't take it well and he got addicted to heroin for a time. When I took him in he was addicted and he did his rehab whilst staying with me. Coming off the drugs was painful and it is the reason why he now hates needles and hospitals, it was a tough time for him and the reason why I had hoped that he would talk to Mr. Getz,"

Sam looked contrite "I didn't know."

"None of you did, but now you know where he's coming from I suggest you guys take Mr. Getz and bring him home. Hetty said her fear for Callen's safety gnawing at her.

Callen had made it to the waterfront when the first of the flashbacks hit him. Jason's face as the light left his eyes the confusion on his face as he died, making Callen stop and retch into the gutter.

He leant against a wall and started sobbing not caring who was watching.

"Hey kid, you alright." A man asked.

Callen looked up warily, "What d'you care?" He snarled.

"Hey, just I got some stuff if you want." He said, "You got money?"

Callen looked through his bag, there was money in there, fifty dollars, "This enough?" he asked.

The man smiled and gave Callen a bag, "You know how to use this?" he asked. Callen nodded he took the bag, "Now, how's about you give me that and my money back," Callen said producing a gun he had swiped from one of the desks from his waistband.

The man shook and spread his arms in supplication, "Ok man…take it." He said backing away.

The man watched as Callen pocketed the drug and walked off, following at a distance.

As soon as Callen let his guard down the man jumped him, beating him up and running off with his wallet as he heard "Hey you!" from an LAPD patrolman.

Callen looked up and saw the policeman, He thought he recognized him.

Jack Michaels' looked at the kid running away, he reminded him of a young kid he'd befriended years ago, worried he followed him.

Callen went into a public restroom and came out looking shaky.

Keeping a discrete distance Jack followed him not panicking until Callen came to the cliffs and climbed around the edge. He climbed halfway up the cliff to a small ledge.

Looking up he saw what looked like a gun.

That was it, he had no idea what was going on with this kid, but he looked a lot like a kid called Callen and he remembered Deeks saying he worked with him so he made a phone call.

"Deeks it's Jack…..That guy you work with Callen, does he have a kid? Got one looks just like he did when he was a kid, thing is, I think he's on drugs, he's halfway up a cliff and he has a gun, you need to get his dad down here and sort him out." Jack listened as Deeks told him he was coming.

Ten minutes later the team turned up and walked over to where Jack was.

"Where is he?" Sam asked.

Jack pointed to halfway up the cliff. He's been there for an hour, he shot up once while there, poor kid looks distraught, I've tried talking to him, is he Callen's kid? he looks so much like him. He keeps saying he shouldn't be here, he should be dead. The kid needs help; look Callen's a good guy and all but tell him he has to help his kid." Jack said shaking his head sadly.

"Thanks Jack, I've got it." Deeks said.

Deeks walked up to the base off the cliff.

"Hey, G…you wanna talk? Deeks asked.

"No…" Callen snapped.

"I wanna talk, will you come down here so I can." Deeks asked.

"I can see the whole world from up here…" Callen said, "And do you know what? ….in the whole of the world there isn't a single person who cares if I live or die." Callen laughed, turning the gun around in his hand. "All they will do is close my file and put it in a filing cabinet and not one single person would notice."

"I would notice." Deeks said.

"You don't even know me…I'm just a throwaway kid, my family didn't want me they chucked me in the system, couldn't even give me a name. I'm fifteen and no one has ever bothered to tell me what my name is…I may be the only person in history to be so worthless I don't even merit that."

Deeks had climbed a bit further up and was now level with Callen. Scared, Callen turned the gun on Deeks; Kensi inhaled a breath as Deeks just plopped down on the ledge besides Callen.

"Maybe you're better off." Deeks said staring at the ocean.

Callen looked at him. "What?"

"You don't know who your family is…maybe one day you'll get a good family. My dad was abusive, used to beat me every day just because he could reach me…I thought about doing that once or twice," Deeks said, indicating the gun with a casual wave of his hand.

Callen looked up interested.

"So what happened?"

"I met a cop…a good one who took me in, his wife was a lawyer and they taught me that I could make a difference to other people, My being here could be important to someone else; Even if I had no one who cares for me."

Callen looked at him, "Really?"

Deeks grinned, "Yep, you know I reckon you could be a federal agent when you grow up and I bet you'd be an awesome one,"

Callen thought about it, "Yeah? but who'd want me as a fed, I'm a junkie." He whispered.

"Nope that's just who you are today, not who you are tomorrow, you wanna come with me and be something better, I know about Jason…let his death be worth something, live your life in his memory."

Slowly Callen handed Deeks the gun and sobbed, Deeks put his arms about the boy's shoulders, "Talk to Nate, he will help and he won't tell anyone." Deeks suggested.

Callen wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Will you…would you stay with me?" He asked quietly.

"All the way pal…All the way." Deeks promised as they slowly climbed down together.

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