My name is G!

Chapter 12 - Secrets and Lies

Cold, wet shaking and thoroughly dejected, Callen followed Deeks into the mission.

Deeks walked with him up to Nate's office and knocked on the door he noticed that Callen was shaking out of fear more than anything else. They walked in Nate and Hetty were sitting on sofas in the room, "Here, Mr. Callen." Hetty said and handed him a hot chocolate.

"Thanks" Callen mumbled standing closer to Deeks.

"Do you want to sit down?" Nate asked.

Callen shot a worried look towards Deeks, "Can….can he stay?" he asked.

"Sure, would you like Hetty to stay?" Nate asked.

He had already had a conversation with Hetty she had asked to stay but he'd said he would only allow it if Callen said yes….Kid or not he had rights.

"Am I going to be staying with you for now?" Callen asked her.

Hetty nodded, "Yes."

"Then, No." He replied curtly. If he was going to talk the last thing he wanted was the person looking after him seeing him as weak.

Hetty nodded, "Mr. Deeks will bring you to my office when you are finished."

Callen let a small shudder escape as a wave of pain shot through him. Deeks handed him a bottle of water and a pen. "There you go."

Callen looked at him, "You were in care?"

Deeks nodded, "Yep told you I understood."

Gratefully Callen took the water and marked his first line. Nate looked at them both, "Guy's what's with the pen?"

"Safety," Both Callen and Deeks said at the same time. Callen shot Deeks a smile.

"Jinx you owe me a soda." He quipped.

Deeks smiled "Right back at you, you can collect later on."

Nate sat back and watched as Callen slowly after checking the exits and the room with his eyes for danger relaxed back into the couch.

"You wanna talk about what happened earlier?" Nate asked.

"No, I'm fine." Callen said automatically.

Nate gave a small grin, "Ok so when you're fine you shoot up, climb up a cliff and threaten to kill yourself?"

"I just wanted to get away." Callen said looking intently at his hands which were shaking a bit and he tucked them under his arms to hide it.


Callen looked away, "Me…I….He…I didn't mean for him to die….it should have been me…he had people who cared, he had a family."

"You have people who care Callen." Nate said.

"Who?" Callen asked looking up for the first time.

"Everyone here cares about you." Nate said

"You don't know me!" Callen said.

"We do know, we know about Jason and what your foster father did." Nate said gently.

Callen jumped up, "You have no idea what he did….what he made me…" tears started falling and Callen stared out of the window stubbornly, desperately willing them to go away, unfortunately the drug in his system was pulling his barriers down. "I'm no one and I'll always stay that way, I just wanted someone to really care, because they wanted too, not because it looked good or the paycheck was right. Deeks had good foster parents he told me; he's a nice guy…what's wrong with me?" Callen asked the desperation evident in his voice.

He turned and looked at Nate and for once Nate finally saw the core anguish that Callen always carried around with him.

"There's nothing wrong with you circumstances left you on your own, that's not your fault." Nate told him.

Callen sat on the couch drawing his knees to his chest and hugging them. "Yeah, right! My family love me so much they take me to a beach and leave me there, So, That file of yours?" Callen waved his hand towards it, "You know so much about me, do YOU know my name?…no one else does, I'm not important enough for a name." Callen put his head on his knees so Nate couldn't see his face, "I'm just a reject." He mumbled into his knees.

"Is this why you do drugs?" Nate asked.

"Didn't want to," Callen replied, "My last foster father, Matt…he shot me up to shut me up,"

Nate looked surprised this wasn't in his file.

"He said it made us more compliant, Jason found out what he was doing and he tried to protect me coz he was older, I told him not to bother…not to do it….not worth it." Callen started sobbing into his knees, all Nate could see was his body shaking.

"G…" Nate went to put a hand on Callen and stopped. "G, you need to stop using, I'm going to give Hetty information about getting you help with rehab. You do have a bright future ahead of you. I know things will get better."

"Really?" Callen asked wiping his eyes and looking at the two men in the room, "Do….do you think someone will adopt me?" It was Nate realized the one wish Callen had held onto through all these years.

"I can honestly say that one day Callen, you will find a family." He told the teenager. "Callen, as you know this session is confidential; do you want me to pass the information on about your foster father to the authorities?" Nate asked.

Callen nodded, "I'll need his name." Nate pushed.

"Matthew Oliver…I know I'm staying with Miss Lange now, but when you tell her, I know you have too, and she wants me to move on…can you tell her it's ok, I don't blame her." He pulled back into himself again, "We done…I have things to do."

Nate nodded. "Yes, please though…stay in the building."

"We are off to get ice cream." Deeks said, "I stashed some in the break room yesterday." He grinned as Callen looked up surprised.

"You wanna share with me?" he asked.

"Yep, heard you were coming." Deeks said.

Callen smiled, "You got chocolate?" he asked.

"Yep and fudge sauce and soda's for floats." Deeks smiled as Callen's grin grew wider. Nate thought he saw something behind his eyes but said nothing he nodded and Callen and Deeks left.

Hetty and Granger walked in, "Can you tell us anything Nate?" She asked concerned.

"Callen obviously has identity issues and self esteem issues. His drug use was not self inflicted, it started as a result of his foster Carer, Matthew Oliver dosing up the children in his care. Callen said something about keeping the children in his care compliant."

Hetty bristled, "I knew about his drug use the last time, but no one knew it wasn't self inflicted, I had always hoped Mr. Callen hadn't done it to himself. It took a month to get him clean last time." She said sadly.

Granger turned to her, "I talked to the scientist, he has a rapid detox program he developed last time this happened in case he relapsed, we can give it to him in his meal tonight and hopefully he'll be ready for his next shot and we will have our Callen back."

"Hetty, did anyone go after Oliver for what he did?" Nate asked.

"No, by the time we figured out that Oliver had been hurting kids, he went missing and his house burned down. It was just after Mr. Callen finished his rehab with me and was moved to a new home." She told them, "I kept an ear to the ground but no one ever heard from him again."

Callen leaned against the wall as Deeks got out some sodas and ice cream.

"You feeling better now?" Deeks asked.

"Sure, I mean they'll never send me back to him will they?" Callen asked.

"Nope, you should probably stay with Hetty now." Deeks said. Not really sure if that was what was going to happen.

Callen noted Deeks' shift in body language. His instinct screamed at him after all the man had said he was lying now. Callen's fists clenched, they were going to send him back, he mentally groaned. 'They caught you using….of course they are going to send you back,' he shivered as he remembered what Oliver was like and what was waiting for him when he got back there.

There was no way he was going to eat ice cream now when all he wanted was to vomit.

He looked completely calm but like a swan on the water, what was going on under the surface belied the calm on top. He had passed panic mode and had gone into full blown paranoia.

"Erm….Bathroom?" He asked looking around,

"Down the hall near the main door second on ya right." Deeks said his head in the icebox.

Callen walked calmly through the bullpen and saw a set of car keys on a desk pocketed them and kept walking. He walked into the bathroom and looked at the windows, with a small amount of wriggling he made it through to a concealed parking lot in the center of the building. Ducking down he waited as two agents walked past him. He looked at the tag on the keyring it had a license plate on it, walking up to a blue dodge charger he tried the key fob and grinned as the door opened.

"Nice!" he smiled. He knew he wasn't thinking entirely clearly but, if they couldn't find Matthew Oliver…they couldn't send him back there.

With a loud peel of rubber he drove out of the parking lot.

The two agents who had passed earlier turned round.

"One day, Agent Hanna is going to crash that car….Hetty's so going to take it out of his paycheck." The other agent laughed and they headed to the mission.

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