My name is G!

Chapter 19 - One missed step

Callen walked out of the house not paying attention to where he was going as he couldn't stop the tears that were falling, he was angry, angrier than he had ever felt in his life…but he was angry more at himself.

Finally he had what he had always wanted in his grasp, he had a family, his family… and he had just ruined everything by blowing up at his father. There was no way he would want a relationship with him now.

Callen stopped at Point Sur Lighthouse a place he had visited with Nell a few times as she liked the view, there wasn't much of a view now, but the stars were out and he sat down at a bench overlooking the Ocean and wiped his eyes angrily with his sleeve, a move he hadn't done since he was a child.

Calming down slowly he realized what he had done not only had he walked out of the house mad, he had driven without any idea of where he was going…he could have been killed.

"Crap!" he said aloud and then looked to see if anyone was around to see him talking to himself.

He didn't know what to do know, his father had thrown away his last chance at safety to be with him and his uncle, he had yelled at his uncle telling him his mother would have been disappointed in him, and he'd told his father….oh God! There was no way he could go back and face the man now…but he'd left his bag there, anyway his father would probably be long gone by the time he got back, having found out how useless a son he was, he wouldn't want to stay around for him, no one else ever had before.

He looked at his phone, a part of him wanting to call Nell and tell her what an idiot he had been and hope that she would know how to fix it, another part of him had hoped his father would call, tell him it was ok and he loved him no matter what and to stay where he was because he was coming to get him.

Neither of those things happened.

It was now early in the morning and Nell would still be at home in bed so he wasn't going to call her.

Callen looked at the phone and realized he was still crying, 'what the heck is with you man?' he questioned himself, 'you're a forty-two-year-old man who is crying like a girl…it's no wonder no one wants you around for long!'

He sat up, recognized this as what Nate would call destructive thinking, and then decided he didn't care.

Try as he might he couldn't pull himself out of his negative head space, he kept mulling the words he had said to his father over and over in his head. The one sentence that he kept hearing was his father's answer to his question about all the abuse he had suffer.

"Yes I knew."

He knew…all the times he had been beaten, neglected, abused and his father had known and had done nothing! Granger, his uncle had known and had done nothing! They hadn't cared enough to save him.

Callen placed his head in his hands and sobbed openly, for the child he had once been and the man he now was. He had been found by Hetty and used and turned into this, an Agent with no name, expendable by the government, by his family all for the greater good and the adults who had supposed to be protecting him as he had grown up HAD ALL KNOWN!.

He felt totally betrayed.

He picked his phone up and looked at it; still his father had not called to see if he was alright or to apologize.

He watched as the sun rose and the sky got lighter, he wanted desperately to call Nell, to tell her how he was feeling. But he was the team leader, he needed to be stoic…he couldn't do it, he'd had enough.

Taking one last look at his cell phone, he threw it off the cliff into the sea, turned around and lost his footing.

Nell paced ops, something was wrong and she didn't know what until an agent in distress symbol flashed up on her screen, "Eric, Callen's phone's gone offline."

Eric sent out a message to the other team members and looked for where the phone was last activated.

"It's not at the safe house; his phone was last activated at Point Sur lighthouse." He told her.

Nell sighed and dialed Hetty's number.

"Hetty, its Nell, Callen's phone has just gone off the grid at Point Sur lighthouse, I thought he was with you?" she asked.

"He was, I'm not sure what's happened but Granger and Constantin are having an argument right now."

"Well I suggest you get them and go and see if he's ok." Nell snapped.

Eric looked at her like she was crazy as Nell hung up the phone.

"Y…you just told Hetty off!" He exclaimed stunned.

Nell leant over her desk and grabbed her keys out of her bag, "So." She snapped and walked out of OPS as the others started up the stairs.

"He's at Point Sur Lighthouse," She called as they went into ops for a update from Eric.

"Where you going?" Sam called.

"To get him!" Nell replied and carried on walking.

In the twenty minutes it took to let the team know what had happened, Nell had made it to the lighthouse, she had figured that would be where Callen would go and think as they had been there together a few times. Nell liked the place, it was creepy but the views had been awesome. The sun was starting to rise and the glow was brilliant across the sea. She saw Callen's car parked up and walked along the walkway from the light keeper's house to the lighthouse itself.

"Callen!" She called. She walked around every inch of the lighthouse. He was nowhere to be seen.

As she turned and walked back up the wooden walkway she stopped as she noticed a part of the white wooden barrier that formed part of the walkway had broken.

"Nell!" She looked up as Sam, Kensi and Deeks arrived, "Where is he?"

"I don't know I've… CALLEN!" She screamed looking over the edge and seeing a body lying halfway down the cliff face.

The others ran up as Nell looked horrified over the edge.

"Eric, call 911," Sam said into the earpiece, Sam stared over the edge as he looked at the still body of his partner lying there.

Deeks and Kensi went to the gift shop and looked around for some rope, something to get one of them down there as Granger, Hetty and Constantin pulled up in their car.

"What's happened?" Granger asked Deeks as Kensi ignored him and continued looking.

"Callen is halfway down the cliff face, I don't know how badly he's hurt." She said as Hetty looked shocked and a look of anguish passed both men's faces, "I don't know what you did to make him end up here, but I hope it was worth it," she spat at Constantin.

The paramedics arrived and Sam helped them get down to Callen's body, he still hadn't moved an inch since Nell had first spotted him.

Nell grabbed Kensi's hand, "Have you two got a thing?" Kensi asked noticing how worried the other woman was.

"No, EW…he's too old for me, but he is my best friend, he's like a brother to me." She admitted.

Constantin reached the top of the cliff and looked over at the sight of his son's battered and possibly broken body on the cliff face and shuddered. "How is he?" he called down to the paramedics.

The paramedics finally made it to Callen's position and checked for a pulse… "We have a heartbeat, it's thready… but it's there, we are going to need a chopper to airlift him from here," the paramedic called up to his partner,"

Hetty turned to the paramedic beside her, "I will arrange that." She told him and made the call.

Down beside Callen, Sam looked at his partner, "Hold on G…Help's coming…Just hold on!"

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