You're My Tear


The two hardest things to say in life are ‘hello’ for the first time and ‘goodbye’ for the last.

Chapter Six

Seven months ago

Jasper stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the love of his life who was snuggled in their king sized bed. Her hair was in thick brown waves, skin slightly flushed pink and eyelids fluttering. She looked peaceful, happy. If he could, he would have stayed the whole day looking at her, but as always, duty calls.

He walked over to her side and then sat down, lightly pushing the hair out of her face.

“Ciara,” he said as he smiled. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and once they landed on him, she smiled then stuck her arms out waiting for him to hug her.

“I’ve got to leave soon, baby. This is going to be a long flight.”

“No,” she whined into his neck, tightening her grip on his body. “Can’t you just stay here?”

“You know if I could I would,” he sighed while kissing her forehead. “Unfortunately, my job doesn’t allow me to stay home. But soon, baby. Real soon, I’ll be able to be home more. I need some extra time to put a baby in you.”

Ciara giggled and looked up at him. She loved this man with all of her heart. She couldn’t picture doing life without him by her side.

“Jasper, I’m pretty sure you put a baby in me this morning.”


“I kinda feel like this time, we might actually end up pregnant. You’ll be gone for four weeks, so when you get back, we’ll take a test together.”

“Sounds like a plan baby.” He pulled her in closer, letting their lips touch and then slowly deepening the kiss. Ciara moaned and pushed back, glaring up at him.

“Why would you do that when you know you have to leave. We don’t have any time, Jasper.”

Jasper laughed when her pout got worse. “I’m sorry, Ci. I just love your lips. It’s going to be hard being away for this long.”

“Then don’t go,” she said as she pulled him back into a hug. “I know you don’t have a choice, but I’m still going to repeat saying it.”

“These four weeks will pass by in no time, honey. Just think about us possibly finding out you’re pregnant when I get back. And if we’re not, I’ll have all the time in the world to put as many babies in you as I can.”

“I can’t wait to see you be a father,” Ciara said smiling at him. “You’re an amazing husband, amazing friend, wonderful son,” she kissed the tip of his nose. “There’s no way you’ll be anything less than a perfect father.”

“And there’s no way you’ll be less than a perfect mother,” he said while kissing her lips. “You take care of everyone, baby and love them with all you have. Not only me, but my parent’s. When they both got sick from the Coronavirus, who was there nursing them back to health? You. Who spends hours each day talking and letting people know that there is a way out of the pain and suffering they’re feeling? You. People you don’t even know, you give them the absolute best love and care. I can only imagine how you’ll be with our child. I know you’ll be simply amazing, Ciara. There is nothing you can’t do.”

“Don’t make me emotional, dummy,” she laughed while hitting his shoulder. “How much time do I have to get ready before I take you to the airport?”

Jasper looked at his watch. “About thirty minutes.”

Ciara got a mischievous look in her eyes. “Good. That means we actually do have time.”

“Time for what?”

“This,” Ciara said she pulled him down by his tie, his body laying on top of hers as they kissed tenderly. “Baby, please.”

Jasper lifted up and loosened his tie. “Anything for my best girl.”

They made every second count as they made love for the final time before he was scheduled to leave. Jasper was a technology specialist and partnered with a company in Seoul who had recently branched out two several oversea countries. He was damn good at his job and in charge of training everyone that worked at his department of the new branches. When his final trip to Australia was over, he’d be taking a higher paying job with the same company. The good thing about that, is that his plans to start a family with Ciara could actually happen. Higher pay, less hours, more morning like this making love to his precious wife.

Ciara sat in the passenger seat as Jasper parked the car at Incheon Airport, tears already brimming her eyes. She knew she would be emotional; she always was when he had to leave. This time was different though, she had a deep feeling in her gut that her life was going to change after Jasper stepped foot on that plane.

They walked together through baggage check hand in hand, both hating the fact they were going to have to say goodbye. Once they hit the doors to the terminal, Ciara took a deep breath and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“Baby,” Jasper said as scooped her into his arms as her sobs got louder. “Baby I’ll be back, I promise.”

“How can you know that for sure,” she sniffed while looking up into his dark green eyes. “What if something happens?”

“Like a plane crash?”

“Damn it, Jazz, don’t say that,” she slapped his chest and then hugged him again. “That’s not exactly putting my mind at ease about you leaving, dork.”

“Ciara, do you know the statistics of this plane crashing? I have a betting chance of standing out in the middle of the street and getting ran over by a bus then this plane crashing.”

“Ugh, more visuals.”

Jasper laughed and kissed her lips. “Babe, relax. All this stress isn’t good for our future kiddo.”

“You’re a dork,” she laughed through the tears. “But you’re my dork.”

“Flight 001 to Melbourne, Australia ready for boarding.”

“That’s me,” he said as he pulled on his messenger bag. “Wanna walk me to the door?”

Ciara nodded and grabbed his hand, standing with him through the line while every got their tickets checked. Jasper handed his ticket over to the stewardess and motioned toward his wife. “She’s not ready to say goodbye.”

The stewardess smiled as she handed him his stub back and checked his passport. “My husband and two boys were the same way this morning. I had to plan a trip to take them to the museum when I get back before they let me out the door.”

Ciara smiled and looked at her husband. “A museum date sounds good, too.”

Jasper pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Anything you want baby.”

The final call to board the plane sounded and Ciara wanted to burst into more tears, but she held them in. She didn’t want Jasper to leave thinking she was more upset.

“Time to go, Jazz. I’ll miss you so much.”

He crashed their lips together. He didn’t care that they were in an airport or about the fact that public displays of affection were taboo in South Korea; he put every emotion he could into the kiss. He wanted her to know he loved her more than anything. When they released, Ciara wiped a tear from her eye.

“I’ll miss you more,” Jasper said as he rubbed her cheek. “I love you with everything in my soul.”

“I love you, too, honey. Now go show those Aussies your amazing skills.”

Jasper laughed then kissed her once more. “I’ll call you when I land, baby. See you later.”

“See you later,” Ciara said as she watched his tall body disappear behind the terminal door. They hated saying goodbye. Goodbye seemed permanent. See you later, was better. It gave them hope that they would see eachother once again.

Ciara stood at the windows as she watched Jaspers plane take off fifteen minutes later. She watched the bright blue plane soar in the sky until it was nothing but a small speck. “He’ll come back,” she told herself as she walked out of the airport. “He always does.”

Hoseok paced the floor of their apartment, staring at the two rolling suitcases before him. He was angry, so angry. After his argument with Mina, the last few days had been exhausting. She wanted to take this training and get experience, but he wanted to put it off until after their wedding.

The night Mina told him that she’d never forgive him if kept her from going weighed on his mind constantly. He would have never stopped her from achieving her dreams and goals, but now wasn’t the time. Their wedding was coming up fast. He didn’t want to be selfish by making her join him for everything they done out of the country, but at least they would be together. Instead, they were going to separated by thousands of miles and he hated it.

He couldn’t sleep without her.

He couldn’t go a single day without hugging or kissing her in the mornings, little sneaky quick moments at the company ot even the occasional racy texts. Everything was changing and it scared him.

“Are you taking me to the airport,” Mina said as she walked into their living room. She was carrying her small purse, adjusting the straps; never even sparing a glance at Hoseok.

That hurt him.

“Why won’t you look at me,” he said staring at her. They were standing so close, but felt like they were worlds apart.

“Hoseok, don’t do this. I’ve got to be on that plane in thirty minutes.”


She turned and slammed her purse down on the table, staring at him with anger. “No. Are you taking me or not? I don’t want to hear it, Hoseok. You have said over and over that you don’t approve of this. I get it. But what about me, huh? I have been everywhere with you! We are always together! If I’m not with you, I’m with your managers or with one of the guys. I need to do this for myself! What about my career? Or is it because Bangtan is more important than my happiness?”

“You want me to pick between you and Bangtan? Those guys are my family!” Hoseok shouted. “I hate arguing with you, Mina! I fucking hate it! All I said was wait until after our wedding so we can go together. I’ll be off-”

“God damn it, Hoseok! I’m not scheduling my career around you. I need this. I need my own happiness,” Mina said as she walked passed him, heading straight for her suitcases.

“I thought you were happy with me.”

“I am, Hobi,” Mina sighed and turned to look at him. “I need to do something for myself for once. You cant fault me for that.”

“Baby I’m not,” he walked toward her, but she held her hands up causing him to stop.

“I love you, Hoseok. I do, but I’m suffocating here. I want to be proud of myself like you are of you. Maybe we should just-”

“No. We’re not calling off the wedding,” he yelled. “This is just a disagreement, this is nothing to break up over!”

“We’ll talk when we get back. Goodbye, Hobi.”

Before he could try to stop her, she slammed the door leaving him all alone. The second she left he felt like shit. He crumpled to his knees and sobbed. She was right; she was always right. He was being stupid and selfish. It was dumb of him to assume she wanted to be by him every hour of the day and not make something of herself.

He pulled out his phone and called Yoongi, begging them all to come over. Once he hung up from the conversation, he pulled up Minas name and called. It went straight to voicemail. So he did the next best thing and sent a text.

Hoseok: Baby. I’m sorry. You were right.

Hoseok: I love you. Please be safe and call me when you land.

An hour later while Hoseok was laying on the couch nursing a beer, all of Bangtan and their managers rushed into his apartment, all pale and visibly shaken. Hoseok jumped up and knocked the beer bottle to the floor, rushing over to where everyone stood.

“What’s wrong,” he said while getting nervous. “Yoongi...”

“I-“, Yoongi stuttered while looking at his best friend. “Hoseok, I need you to sit down.”

“I’m not sitting down. What is it?”

Yoongi stared at his best friend, contemplating on how to break the news to him. Tears threatened to fall as he continued to stare at Hoseok. The others were tearing up, too. They knew what they were going to say was going to kill him.

“There was a plane crash,” Yoongi finally said. “I-”

“No,” Hoseok blurted out. “You’re lying.”

“We heard it on the radio a few minutes ago, Hyung,” Jungkook said while stepping up to him. “It was-”

“It wasn’t Mina! It was not Mina’s plane! Why in the hell would you even tell me this!” Hoseok screamed as he shoved Jungkook out of his way. He grabbed Yoongi shoulders, shaking him, begging him to tell him it’s not true.

“Jungkook, go turn on the news,” Sejin muttered before joining Yoongi. “Just-”

Hoseok started crying, screaming for someone to tell him what in the hell was going on.

“Hoseok, you’ve got to calm down. I’ll get someone on the phone.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! She’s my fiance!”

“Oh my God,” Jungkook’s voice cracked as he turn on the tv.

Flight 001 crashed after takeoff. No survivors.

Hoseoks knees buckled as he sobbed out her name. Everyone around them was crying and trying to figure out exactly what had happened.

“No,” He said as he pulled out his phone, dialing the number of his one and only. “She didn’t get on the plane. I know she didn’t. That’s not her plane.”

Her phone went to voicemail immediately.

“COME ON!!!” He yelled with so much heartbreak, the others could only stand a side and sob to themselves quietly. “Baby answer me,” he said as he cried while redialing her number. “Baby, oh my god.”

“Hyung,” Taehyung said as he grabbed the older and pointed to the tv. There it was. The heartbreaking proof that she was gone. On the screen showed photographs of all the ones that perished in the crash.

She was first.

The scream that came out of Hoseok was almost inhuman. The way he collapsed on top of Taehyung and cried, would always haunt everyone in the room. The others crowded around him and hugged him for hours until he finally had no tears left.

Taehyung slowly stood up and walked over to his manager, who was also crying silently in the corner.

“We need to call his family. And hers.” Taehyung couldn’t even say her name without his throat closing up. “I-“.

Sejin wrapped his arms around the boy he considered his son. “I know, Taehyung. I know.”

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