It has been a month since that day. I’ve not seen Jungkook since the next morning. Apparently, he had told Tae that he was leaving for Busan a few weeks ago.
But that can’t be true. I just him a week ago at the science department library. Tae being an art student, there was absolutely no way he’d see him. I’ve been trying to look for Jungkook everyday. I stay up in the library until late at night, hoping he would pass by once again. There had been nights I fell asleep there. On mornings after that, I always found a bottle of coconut water and a granola bar placed beside me.
I know it was him. He’s the only one who knows my recent obsession with coconut water.
I wonder if I scared him away with my actions that night. He was clearly very upset after encountering Tae’s hidden family. I don’t know why I was as worried as I was. So much to the point that I wanted him to use me to forget about that day.
If I knew that what I did who lead to him running away, then I would’ve never done it. I regret letting my heart take over for once. Every decision I had ever taken in my life was well-thought. After weighing the pros and cons. For once I had let my heart guide me. And it only led to disappointment.
My throat chokes up as I once again let my head fall onto the familiar desk. I feel the tears that rise but quickly push them away. I could miss seeing him if I let the tears blur my vision. And I couldn’t take that chance.
Two hours pass by and no sign of the familiar doe eyes. Maybe I should give up.
I close my eyes in hopes of atleast getting to see him in my dreams. I only want to slap some sense into him but also pull him into a hug and cry into shoulders for leaving me alone with Tae.
The eery silence of the night engulfs me. Instead of scaring me like it should have, I find comfort in it. But that doesn’t last for long. I hear the crinckling of a packet and something else placed down on the very desk I sit at. Without wasting a second, I turn around and grasp at the extended hand.
Jungkook let’s out a gasp, as if he wasn’t expecting me to be awake. Without letting go of the hand, I glance down at the time on my phone. 12:07 it reads.
I was very much glad that the university library was left open for us students. With the mock exams fast approaching, the college let us use it for as long as we wanted.
“We need to talk.” I growled. Pulling him by his hand, I drag him out of the campus and walk towards my apartment complex. I don’t realize the distance I’ve walked from the bubbling rage.
I push him into my living room, glaring at him as I lock the front door. And when I halt right in front of him, I feel exhaustion seep into every cell of my body. My footing falters, startling Jungkook. His hand comes out to steady me but I don’t let him. I’m scared him touching me will make me lose my mind.
“Why did suddenly disappear, huh? If you didn’t want to see me again, you should’ve said so!” I’m practically yelling at this point but I don’t care.
“You think it was easy for me to see him everyday and not feel anything after I caught him with his daughter. I love him too for god’s sake!” Me yelling has his eyes blown wide. His hands are trembling at his sides, not having expected the outburst.
“I had to, okay!” It’s my turn to be surprised.
“All this time I’ve only loved Taehyung. Now every time I close my eyes, the only thing I see is you Norah. How can I have feelings for you too? Don’t I already love Taehyung? That fucking bite on your lip that started scabbing, just sat there as a proof of our morning together. It’s taking so much in me to not kiss you breathless right now. Why do you think these hands are shaking, huh?” He extends his hands towards me and I take them into mine.
“I felt so guilty for breaking down so easily that day. I let you take care of me when you had been heartbroken too. I could do nothing but take all that comfort that you provided. I was so useles-”
I don’t want him to complete that sentence. He’s not useless because he acted on his emotions. Crying in my arms doesn’t make him any less of a man. I place my lips on his. Let it do the soothing away of his pain. And when we pull back, his doe eyes shine.
“Don’t say things like that. We’ll both get over Taehyung. Together. We’ll heal other.” I tell him and he nods.
“Will you be my boyfriend, Jungkook? Will you be the one to heal me?”